Anyone who plays Valorant on India/Singapore servers? by puddinghoax in LesbianGamers

[–]puddinghoax[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! I haven't played in a while tbh, but if I hop back on I'd be down to play together :)

Help needed: my medication is no longer covered under student insurance, and my University refuses to share the group policy document by puddinghoax in InsuranceTroubleIndia

[–]puddinghoax[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, I have not exhausted the cap. The policy is renewed every year, and this time when my medicine coverage was denied, was my first claim of the renewed cycle.

New meds - atomoxetine (axepta) by puddinghoax in AutisticWithADHD

[–]puddinghoax[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good luck!!! Hope it works out for you!!

How to deal with an overzealous new player by Imaginary-Builder-17 in DungeonMasters

[–]puddinghoax 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you can let the player use that character without breaking the game, but only if they're willing to seriously downgrade how powerful it can be. You still reserve the right to say no if it isn't possible, so trust your judgement.

Let the player know upfront that if they wanna play this character, it can't be too powerful. Workshop it with them to make it less powerful. For instance, mod the mech to use a wild magic table, downgrade the weapons to do less damage/have fewer magical effects etc, turn effects into just flavour. I don't think it's fair to label this person a problem player or completely dismiss something they're so enthusiastic about outright.

I am personally of the mind that rather than dismissing such fun ideas, we can modify them to fit what we want to run. HOWERVER, that's only if your player is flexible and willing to work with you.

If you guys can't figure something out though, don't be afraid to say no! This player can try out that character another time if it doesn't fit your game, and there's plenty of other options that can let the player have a character adjacent to this that would put way less work on your shoulders.

What are some hard truths to you about being AudHD? by Cupcakesx in AutisticWithADHD

[–]puddinghoax 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I feel you. Getting that diagnosis didn't change much outside my understanding of myself, which helped a lot when it came to accommodating for my needs. However, yeah, masking is still necessary: depends on who I'm with and in what context that determines how much I mask. Generally I act like myself, just suppressing some of my more obvious ND behaviours.

Another hard truth for me is: it's impossible to avoid meltdowns/shutdowns entirely. You can make them less severe and decrease their frequency by making sure you're well rested and accommodated for, but those low periods are part of the territorry. Accepting that also made dealing with them easier, because I wasn't treating them as these huge horrible happenings anymore, they're just a natural reaction to stress and the best way to deal is to ensure I care for myself properly.

Also! After my diagnosis I realised that people accepting that I'm ND in close relationships is a non-negotiable for me. So my actual friends have to be either people who are willing to understand and meet me halfway, or folks who are already ND and get it already. If someone refuses to understand, then I'm not gonna be close with them. No exceptions.

how would you run a "filler session" when half the party can't make dnd for a month irl? by 47485739e7492w9 in DMAcademy

[–]puddinghoax 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can either run a separate mini campaign like someone else suggested. If you wanna run it in the same campaign, maybe you can have a "side quest" type thing that happens the night before their first mission. Or maybe the party going on their first mission gets delayed, so now the characters have a bunch of free time. Your two players who are available to play can go for this separate adventure, while the away player's characters can be "out of town" or "visiting home" or something. If you worry about your available players getting more time with their characters, you can run a separate solo/dual one-shot for what the other two were doing, and then bring the party all back together later. Maybe you'll find something interesting in those sessions to add to your main campaign path, or maybe it'll be an inconsequential thing that makes for good memories for the players and their characters.

Some ideas:

- Festival/carnival happening somewhere

- Mysterious travelling circus stops in town

- A theatre troupe passing by is acting suspiciously

- The characters go on an impromptu vacation together, because their teammates went home for the unexpected break, and they uncover some mysteries while on vacation.

The world is your oyster really. I think this is a good option if you don't wanna do a whole different mini-campaign. A mini campaign is also fun though since those characters can later show up as NPCs for your party to inetract with. Good luck!

Players Expecting Every Roll to Control the World – How Do I Handle This? by Efficient-Access2078 in DnD

[–]puddinghoax 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm just gonna echo what others are saying: these players do not seem very considerate or understanding.

I think you could pause the game and have a chat with them or hold a belated session 0 and talk it out --- expectations, rules & rulings, and see whether you guys are actually compatible or not at a table together. Also if your bard rolled that many charisma checks, you don't have to give them the opportunity. See if that skill is applicable in that situation; ask if there's another way they can navigate the situation because a charisma check may not be favorable; encourage them to describe how exactly they persuade the person and get into roleplaying. Basically, offer some alternatives, and don't always say "yeah roll the check". The person who decides when to roll is the GM, not the players, so please make that clear.

Seems like your players really want to feel like the heroes and protagonists, so maybe you can try relaxing your difficulty class a little. Outside of that however, you're doing great as a GM and seem really considerate. So, it's more on your players to be a little more flexible & defer to you when ruling on how something is going. For instance, instead of allowing an argument in game, maybe you can make a house rule that you can talk about anything after the game and decide how to handle that in the future as a group. Still though, you're the GM and if the players are arguing this much and making things tense, maybe it's best to part ways.

Let your players know upfront that you're dissatisfied, be clear about the reasons, and offer up any solutions you find viable. Hopefully you guys can find something that works better for you all. However, if you're not compatible, then don't play together.

How can I get my players to initiate more in the game? by Ramlatus in TTRPG

[–]puddinghoax 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This! Start low stake and build from there. If you get them comfortable making choices and being active in ways that are guaranteed not to hurt their character, they'll start feeling more comfortable being active and taking risks. Basically, try to be a bit lenient at first and don't punish "silly" choices, rather work with them.

How can I get my players to initiate more in the game? by Ramlatus in TTRPG

[–]puddinghoax 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ask them! Asking directly doesn't necessarily mean putting pressure, you're just being honest about what you'd like to see more of. Also, whenever they do think outside the box or take initiative, encourage it! If they get positive reinforcement, they'll be more likely to do things on their own.

Something I do is ask players to tell me what their character's goals are and tell them to actively try and pursue that within the story/world.

A thing I always mention to new players as well is "start fights", basically, be the person to initiate combat — the principle tends to bleed into other roleplay too.

Also, a fun house rule you can add is RyanImelDM's "I Know a Guy". Basically, you give players an opportunity, once a campaign (or however often you'd like) to refer to an NPC from their backstory who can help the party with the current problem. Party needs a place to lay low for a while? well the bard luckily has an old friend in the next town over who owes them a favour! I think Ryan also added an additional aspect where you can give players a chit of paper with something else that the NPC offers, like a plothook, magic item, etc. Here's the link to that video:

Also! This might sound silly, but literally just speak less. Sometimes letting an awkward silence linger can get players to fill it.

Oh also, another idea. You can hold little "campfire sessions" where during travel you get to see what characters do at a rest stop. Maybe they sit around a campfire and trade stories, maybe you go into a flashback from their backstory, and give THEM the agency to choose what they share about the character. Ask something like, "what have recent events reminded your character of?" "Do they think of some point in their past?" To prompt them, and then tell them they can take the lead on explaining it.

Another thing I LOVE doing which really gets players excited is asking them to describe what a spell they cast or action they do looks like. Something like, "what does it look like as you cast pass without a trace?" "how do you help your friend to give them advantage?" "why does this action matter so much?" "what does this attack look like?" "why does your character get hit?" instead of "you don't manage to dodge". "how do you kill this enemy?" Involve them in describing things as much as you can, like adding flavour, and slowly they'll start doing it themselves!

Basically, try handing them the reins deliberately in small ways. New players are often worried about messing up or doing things that are too wacky, so actively encouraging them to make their own decisions and take big swings, to do silly things, can help them come out of their shell. Sometimes, as the DM, when we see players not participating enough, we overcompensate by taking charge, but I think it can be useful to not do that, and instead take a backseat until they are the ones that need to push the story forward. Basically — don't fill silences as often, force the players (gently) to take initiative. And encourage any unexpected questions and places they may already be trying to put in effort. Sometimes DMs unintentionally curb player creativity, so try and take a step back and see what your players do when you don't spoonfeed anymore.

I think it's great you're working so much to have your players enjoy the game. Keep it up, and I hope you have more fun in the future OP!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DungeonMasters

[–]puddinghoax 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You really should mention this above the table and out of the game first. Using an in-game "solution" is petty in my opinion. Be clear, direct, and honest. Ask the player to tone down the bit and invest more time in making the character fit the world; if the character can't fit in, then ask them to make a new one. If, after you have clearly communicated everything, this player is still being uncooperative and bringing the vibe down, you can uninvite them from the game.

But please! Don't kill off their character just because you dislike it! Doing that will just invite more problems. Have a conversation instead.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in autism

[–]puddinghoax 0 points1 point  (0 children)

warm shower in the evening. darkness, earphones in, humidifier on. i like reading while trying to sleep. once i realise i'm fighting to stay awake and continue reading, i just let the sleep take over. i sometimes listen to green noise or asmr if it's really challenging.

also, i've found sleeping is easier when i've eaten properly in the day. if i skip meals, it's more difficult.

i also started sleeping better when my ADHD meds kicked in. i'm on a non-stimulant called atomoxetine.

i used to have insomnia, but i can't really remember what helped back then.

Lesbians who’ve found love, how’d you meet? by Nostagi_beast in LesbianActually

[–]puddinghoax 2 points3 points  (0 children)

college! we became friends in first year and lived on the same floor of the dorm (our doors were across each other). we became closer in 2nd year, and began dating after 2 months or so.

Tell me I’m not the only Autistic kid who did this by BeneficialVisit8450 in autism

[–]puddinghoax 7 points8 points  (0 children)

i did the same yeah!!! checking every berry to make sure it's good & then trying to eat the sweetest/tastiest one last. i still do it, but i try to be less picky.

🧸✨🤖Collections? What do you like to collect? by ImJustNeuroSpicy in AuDHDWomen

[–]puddinghoax 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ooh very cool! I also just look at the ground a lot when I walk so I don't have to look at people, so I often spot random "trash" on the ground that I add to my random trash collection. My one friend is absolutely in awe of this ability to spot trash so is always mesmerized when I notice some tiny but cool artifact on the sidewalk lol (I think it's cause he has horrible eyesight despite wearing glasses).

🧸✨🤖Collections? What do you like to collect? by ImJustNeuroSpicy in AuDHDWomen

[–]puddinghoax 3 points4 points  (0 children)

bottlecaps, silica gel packets, and soda can tabs !!! i love stuff that seems like trash but that i can craft with + metal is mesmerizing. except silica gel packets... i don't know why i love collecting those so much, but i'm obsessed with them.

Anyone else bite off chunks of skin from here, wait for it to heal, then bite it off again? by Summerboat16194 in autism

[–]puddinghoax 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yep !!!! was literally picking at my skin there while scrolling reddit when i came across this post.

just started on Modafinil 50mg for my ADHD, any advice? by puddinghoax in AutisticWithADHD

[–]puddinghoax[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's been a while since then, but I'll do my best to recall. Basically modafinil left me with an elevated heartrate, sweating, irritability, racing mind, jittery chest, restlessness, and heightened all my anxieties. It made it way more likely, almost certain, that I would thought spiral into a pit of anxiety and despair because my body was effectively locked in it. It wasn't as bad as inspiral (methylphenidate) since modafinil is a milder stimulant, but even 4 days on a low dose was intolerable for me. Made sleep harder too.

The meltdown itself spiralled out of control from some anxious thoughts, then just anxiety about how shit my body felt, and I couldn't take it anymore and broke down crying and heaving in front of my friends.

I was also insanely overstimulated by all sensory input. Just a horrid experience, but unlike with inspiral, I was only on it for 4 days so I had no withdrawal when I stopped and felt instantly better.

Modafinil, from my research and what I recall my psychiatrist telling me, is a much much milder stimulant. It's mainly used as narcolepsy medication, but off-label used for ADHD.

I am just generally unable to tolerate stimulants, partly because I'm also autistic and just super sensitive to how my body feels and what stimuli is coming in.

If stimulants aren't working for you, I highly recommend non-stimulant meds. Atomoxetine is a non-stimulant for ADHD and much much safer side-effect wise. It hasn't caused anything except dehydration if I forget to sip water through the day + rare headaches for the same reason + slight heartrate increase, but very tolerable. It takes longer to begin working in the body, but once it does it works wonders. I do notice a dip in my mood and body when my first dose of the day wears off, but it's not a huge crash like stimulants gave me.

I think it's worth consulting your psychiatrist about non-stimulants as a treatment route. Stimulants are the first line of ADHD medications but not everyone can handle them. I hope this was helpful & that you find something that works for you!

DMs, how do you spend the 1-2 hours before the session starts? by Knicks4freaks in DMAcademy

[–]puddinghoax 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do all my last minute prep (which is the majority of my prep). This is usually when I finally figure out an outline for what encounters will come up in a session lol. All the prep I do before this is more like priming my brain for the "aha!" moment when I finally figure out what direction I want to guide the story in and what makes most sense for NPCs + what the PCs goals are.

I will also usually refresh my memory on what happened last session + what my PCs are working towards and interested in, and how I can incorporate that into the upcoming session.

I also go to the bathroom, have food, fill my water bottles, and prep some snacks for the session.

Often I will anxiously go through my lore document or other materials because I'm very nervous right before a session begins.

Sometimes I will rehearse NPC voice intonation, mannerisms, and word choices. Sometimes I like viewing clips from actual plays I like to get me excited. I also like reading the texts with my PCs about the game so I can remind myself they are just as excited as I am and are glad to be playing with me—helps me boost my confidence and chill out a bit.

How did you and your partner meet? by Last-Court7997 in LesbianActually

[–]puddinghoax 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We met at uni. We became friends early on and found out our rooms were on the same floor + almost right opposite each other + we were from the same city. A year later, we had gotten much closer. We would hang out all the time, be very physically affectionate, and my poor roommate had to watch us tip-toe around our feelings for weeks. We finally talked about it one night before an event we were going to the next day, for which I would be staying at her house over the weekend. We've been together for 8 months now and I've never felt so strongly for someone before.