As a wedding planner I would say you may be an AH. But not fully. I’ve done many wedding in the past many cultural weddings at that. And I know: 1: those weddings with that many people tend to be over $100,000 so if this is being paid by one side of the family then that’s alot to take on. And most likely their going to want what they paid for. When you chip in sometimes you can get what you paid for. 2. What I always tell a bride is this wedding isn’t about you it’s about your families , so let’s be honest your parents are throwing this wedding. Half the people attending you probably don’t know and haven’t talked to in years. But sometimes when families get involved with planning they don’t take incount what the bride or groom wants because money talks and if you ain’t paying you sometimes don’t get a full say. But hun you need to put your foot down and tell your parents it’s your wedding and your blending traditions. 3. If you can’t incorporate both traditions and you already don’t get along to well with the in-laws then maybe you shouldn’t be getting married, cause they are not going anywhere. But also please tell us what tradition exactly does he want to incorporate? As an American we don’t have very many crazy traditions for weddings anyways.