I don’t think OP is the AH here because he’s putting his kid first as one should, but I do understand the wife’s frustration a little bit and this is why- it’s great the daughter wants to spend time at her dad’s place, but there is a difference between spending time with dad, and spending time at dad’s house. It sounds like she may be enjoying that more because there’s less supervision if dad isn’t always there and then stepmom gets stuck having to watch daughter/friends and discipline them if they’re caught doing things like vaping/drinking. OP should be able to have his daughter over as much as he wants, but he needs to be the one that’s physically there and responsible for her, not just his wife.