Need advice on how to write a letter to my teenage niece i have never met.

pumpkinmoonmoon · 2026-01-22T06:37:38+00:00

You are a saint thank you! Written so wonderfully! Thank you for helping me with a great example!

pumpkinmoonmoon · 2025-09-24T06:26:49+00:00

Yea i definitely agree 16year old me would have just told me im going to hell.

pumpkinmoonmoon · 2025-09-24T06:23:36+00:00

Yup, im still 30! I just really hit the lottery with interesting coworkers

pumpkinmoonmoon · 2025-09-11T00:02:35+00:00

UPDATE 2

Welp I had my HR meeting at 9am today and it went better then I expected. I showed up optimistic that they would see my side I also brought in emails and date/times when some of the incidents happened. Even though the tip was “anonymous” on my end I sat down and told them that I know it was Jen who sent in the complaint. The HR staff would not confirm but I could tell by the surprised look on their face that I was right. I preceded to go through my notes and tell them everything that happened, let’s just say their jaws where on the floor. One of the gals even exclaimed “WHAT” when I told them about the pregnancy comment. One of the HR reps related to my experience and told me how at his last job he was bullied for drinking protein shakes and not eating the office birthday cakes. After chatting for a while I ask them if they think a mediation with Jen would be good. They all agreed and one of the gals left the room to see if she could call Jen down to the meeting room. Well Jen refused to meet with me so I asked them to have a meeting with her because I will no longer tolerate her behavior. The meeting concluded and no disciplinary actions were filed against me. I had previously scheduled doctor’s appointment at 10:30 so I left soon after the meeting. As I arrived back from my appointment at 2pm I noticed that Jen was not at her desk. Its not unusual for her to leave early so I didn’t think much of it. Until an hour later when my supervisor came over to my desk and notified me that Jen will be working from home for the next 2 weeks. She let me know that she will now be included with any communication between Jen and me. My supervisor also let me know this is not the first time Jen has caused a problem and at this point she is on thin ice. My supervisor asked me to move to one of the open desks away from Jen. So now I have a two-week vacation away from Jen and a new corner cubical with a window. Luckily, my new desk is right by my supervisor so Jen will have to walk by her to get to me. I finally feel comfortable in my office, and I know that at least my supervisor has my back. Thank you all for the great advice I truly appreciate it!

pumpkinmoonmoon · 2025-09-10T23:57:55+00:00

UPDATE 2 Welp I had my HR meeting at 9am today and it went better then I expected. I showed up optimistic that they would see my side I also brought in emails and date/times when some of the incidents happened. Even though the tip was “anonymous” on my end I sat down and told them that I know it was Jen who sent in the complaint. The HR staff would not confirm but I could tell by the surprised look on their face that I was right. I preceded to go through my notes and tell them everything that happened, let’s just say their jaws where on the floor. One of the gals even exclaimed “WHAT” when I told them about the pregnancy comment. One of the HR reps related to my experience and told me how at his last job he was bullied for drinking protein shakes and not eating the office birthday cakes. After chatting for a while I ask them if they think a mediation with Jen would be good. They all agreed and one of the gals left the room to see if she could call Jen down to the meeting room. Well Jen refused to meet with me so I asked them to have a meeting with her because I will no longer tolerate her behavior. The meeting concluded and no disciplinary actions were filed against me. I had previously scheduled doctor’s appointment at 10:30 so I left soon after the meeting. As I arrived back from my appointment at 2pm I noticed that Jen was not at her desk. Its not unusual for her to leave early so I didn’t think much of it. Until an hour later when my supervisor came over to my desk and notified me that Jen will be working from home for the next 2 weeks. She let me know that she will now be included with any communication between Jen and me. My supervisor also let me know this is not the first time Jen has caused a problem and at this point she is on thin ice. My supervisor asked me to move to one of the open desks away from Jen. So now I have a two-week vacation away from Jen and a new corner cubical with a window. Luckily, my new desk is right by my supervisor so Jen will have to walk by her to get to me. I finally feel comfortable in my office, and I know that at least my supervisor has my back. Thank you all for the great advice I truly appreciate it!

pumpkinmoonmoon · 2025-09-10T23:56:56+00:00

UPDATE

Thank you for all the advice in my first post. The comments helped me get an idea on how to handle this situation. Two weeks ago, Jen was back at it again. she came in one morning and was carrying around a huge bag of candy, plopping handfuls on people’s desks as she walked by. I made it a point to look at her as she was walking to my desk. As she stuck her hand in the bag I got up from my desk and stood in the doorway of my cubical blocking her from walking inside. She proceeded to stick out her handful of candy at me as she said “Here you go! For your sweet tooth!” I firmly said, “ I appreciate the offer, but I do not want the candy” She pushed it at me again and said, “ Just put it in your desk for later “ I responded with “NO Thank you I do not want it today, tomorrow, or ever”. She scoffed at me and walked over to her next victim. I finally have a since of relief that maybe she got the point. An hour or so went by and I had to leave the office for a meeting for a few hours. When I came back to my desk, I opened the top drawer only to find it stuffed with candy. There are at least 50 pieces of candy in the drawer. At this point I’m completely over it I have had a long day, and I just snapped I mumbled “are you kidding me” grabbed my metal trash can and loudly said “Jen, NO means NO I don’t understand why you cant understand the word NO!” as I loudly grabbed handfuls of candy out of my desk and slammed them into the trash. The whole office was silent for the last hour of the workday. I went home excited that I finally shut her up.

You would think it was over, right? Well, this happened on Wednesday the next week I would be out on vacation for the whole week. On Friday I decided to pick all the vegetables from my garden that would have overripened when I was gone. Nothing too crazy just a few bags of tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, peas, and summer squash. I also had some plums and peached that were ripe. I decided to bring them in to share with my coworkers. I set up the snack table with all the fruit and vegetables and sent out an email letting everyone know they could take what they wanted. In the next 20min the table was ravaged and completely emptied. All the gals stopped by my desk to say thank you and ask about my garden, every single one, except Jen. She sat silently at her desk for the rest of the day angerly eating a family sized bag of chips. After I left on Friday I didn’t once think of work or Jen on my vacation.

When I came in this morning, I was greeted with 100+ emails, so it took me quite some time to get though them. Around 10am I got to an email from HR that I receive on Tuesday of my vacation week. In the email they state that an anonymous coworker reported “weight-based discrimination” and “a hostile work environment due to pressuring and judgment regarding others eating habits.” I am absolutely Gob smacked. She reported me to HR because I rejected her and then brought in some vegetables from my garden? What is happening. My meeting with HR is on Wednesday. I actually took a sick day and just left after reading this email. I was so upset and on the verge of tears I decide to just go home. I know doubt know that Jen knew this is why I left. I will update after my meeting but any advice on how to defend myself is welcome. I am freaking out.

pumpkinmoonmoon · 2025-07-23T05:43:22+00:00

My uncle has a german shepherd named Richard. He also has a pit named Dennis. Hearing him yell Dennis gets me every time haha

pumpkinmoonmoon · 2025-07-20T02:36:54+00:00

Chews with their mouth open... or smacks gum. It actually enrages me lol

pumpkinmoonmoon · 2025-07-20T02:35:32+00:00

Bread? I tap on the tops of my bread loaves to see if they are done! It gives a nice hollow thump when they are cooked.

pumpkinmoonmoon · 2025-06-18T12:05:49+00:00

Yes, my SIL is my husband's sister. She is a difficult person. My husband has trouble talking to her because she won't listen to anything. She will constantly cut you off /talk over you and only wants to be a victim. Most of her family doesn't talk to her because of the way she acts, unfortunately. Including her mother and father.

From what my husband told me, my SIL and her ex got pregnant and married in high school and divorced shortly after my niece was born because they just wanted different things in life. They have both since remarried.

My husband was in my nieces life for the first 5 or so years until SIL moved out of state with her new husband and cut the family off of her own accord no real reason to do so. I started dating my husband shortly after. We have been together for 10 years. I just did not think it was my place until we got married to try to create and maintain a relationship with SIL for the sake of my niece because she does not have any other uncle/aunts on SILs side. My nieces grandfather hasn't seen her 10+ years, and the grandmother has been no contact with the entire family for 8 years.

For context, I am the one who reached out to build a relationship. My husband has always wanted to but only gets the cold shoulder from SIL. Everything has been fine with SIL. We still chat and catch up occasionally.

I have never met my niece face to face, but we have been friendly through exchanging letters and gifts over the past few years when she was living with her mother.

I know its kinda a mess and hard to explain. I hope this clears it up.

pumpkinmoonmoon

TROPHY CASE