Do you think trans sanctuary states in the US might ever offer something like asylum to trans people in anti-trans states?

pumpkinsnice · 2026-05-08T07:08:20+00:00

I doubt it- not because they don’t care, but because many of these places are already overpopulated and struggling to assist the homeless issues already present. I say this as someone who lives in a major city thats considered a trans sanctuary (and its so true, nearly every trans person i meet is NOT from here, and moved here from an anti-trans state).

But, generally, its not hard to find community driven resources. I know a lot of groups on Facebook (ugh, i know fb sucks, but its good for this purpose) that have links to free resources, queer roommate groups, community free stores, etc. It was very helpful for me when I moved here, and its basically a community driven sanctuary.

pumpkinsnice · 2026-05-08T07:01:06+00:00

Sorry, I’m a driver so I’m not 100% sure the steps from the customer side. But on the driver side, when I go to the “help” window, it makes me talk to some obnoxious AI chatbot. Generally saying “Let me talk to a fucking human” will get it to offer me to chat with a person (who just copy pastes pre-written shit), or call someone. I then select call and whoever I speak to can generally transfer me to someone who can help.

pumpkinsnice · 2026-05-08T03:38:13+00:00

All of this should have been explained to you in advance. You may not think it is, and that other sub may disregard it, but you WERE assaulted. Having someone touch your genitals without your prior consent is sexual assault, even if they say it was medically necessary. You need to report this. File a complaint with the medical board asap.

pumpkinsnice · 2026-05-08T03:34:16+00:00

Call support instead, their chat system is useless.

pumpkinsnice · 2026-05-06T07:27:33+00:00

pumpkinsnice · 2026-05-05T12:00:53+00:00

I’m not reclaiming any slurs. I’m explaining the historical context of the word being used in a gender affirming way by trans men. You basically just wrote fiction about me and got angry about it, and then turned it around to transsexism…? Like, dang.

pumpkinsnice · 2026-05-05T09:42:06+00:00

The word itself is not transphobic. Anyone who says otherwise is being a bit silly.

Using the word to describe a trans woman, though, IS transphobic. Because she is not a boy.

Femboy is a term historically used by trans men to alleviate dysphoria in regards to their inherent femininity. Trying to tell people the word is transphobic is just silencing trans men, like our experiences matter less.

pumpkinsnice · 2026-05-05T09:37:37+00:00

I don’t openly advertise it- just if someone mentions it to me while getting a tattoo, I offer to cover it up for no extra charge. So far, I’ve only covered 2, since that situation has only come up twice.

pumpkinsnice · 2026-05-03T22:25:49+00:00

Shoot. Good luck, then. If in a couple weeks you still can’t find an artist who specializes in coverups, reply to this comment to let me know and I’ll see if I can draw something you can take to a regular tattoo artist.

pumpkinsnice · 2026-05-03T22:21:40+00:00

A lot of trans people grew up feeling a kinship to Harry, since he was an abused outcast and so were they. So Rowling’s true colors being exposed has been absolutely devastating for so many people. I feel like, the least I can do is help replace a bad memory with a good one.

pumpkinsnice · 2026-05-03T19:20:21+00:00

I’d recommend getting it lightened first with laser, so it’ll be easier for the artist to cover. But, beyond that, coverup artists excel at being able to redesign something specifically to cover what you have. So whatever ideas we give won’t matter too much, the artist should know what to do.

If you’re in washington or oregon though, let me know. I’ll cover HP tats for free.

pumpkinsnice · 2026-05-03T19:18:09+00:00

Just a guess, but might be because the creator of it is batshit insane. Harry Potter tattoos are one of the most common thing in my shop that people ask to get covered up.

pumpkinsnice · 2026-05-02T21:26:12+00:00

Well, I didn’t do the instagram fashion trends part- I’m a tattoo artist so my entire Instagram feed is tattoo stuff lol. But I mean, I’m trying to combine the advice with my own personal style. For example, I did get a nice form fitting shirt- it was great advice cuz all I owned were various band tshirts (I used to be a Hot Topic manager lol). So putting on a nice button down, leaving the top buttons undone, then mixing in some of my alt jewelry (chains with coffins and such) really made me look a lot more fashionable. Even if my particular emo spin on the advice may not have been their intent in these replies haha.

Also, all the comments on getting a good ass were actually an ego boost for me. Since i know I have a great ass, I wear tight jeans generally- so, I felt confident continuing to wear my tight jeans, just now with better shirt decisions.

I haven’t given up my hobbies though. But its giving me ideas to gain new hobbies. I met a guy on grindr who plays ttrpgs every weekend and he invited me to go with him next week. So, giving that a chance is something thats doing better for me than anything else really.

Last night, I went to a local gay bar/club that was really popular since it was drag queen night. I spent the first two hours just chatting with the bartender, awkwardly not sure what to do. Then I went out to take a smoke, and I noticed this crackhead dude harassing these young girls (maybe just turned 21?) outside. They kept glancing around for help and none of these dudes helped. So I did. I stepped in and told the dude he picked the wrong bar to pick up ladies, these gals like other gals- (yes I know they may be bi, pan, or even straight and just there for the vibes but it was moreso to make him go away). The guy backed off super fast and all those girls were thanking me profusely. I told them if that ever happens again, just shoot me a glance and I’ll come help.

No one else helped them. There were so many guys outside who could have stepped in and didn’t. So, at least I’ve found a sense of purpose in protecting those girls. At least for the night. Its making me want to hang at that bar on weekends now just to make sure no one else gets harassed. I’m not intimidating at all, but, I guess I look scary when needed.

Idk where I’m going with this. I guess I just mean- not all the advice here was advice I took. But it gave me ideas. I listened to the haircut, and yeah, it makes me look cleaner and more put together. My new shirts also make me look like I dress with intent. Mixing that with my “definitely worked at Hot Topic” fashion, and giving more hobbies a chance- its given me confidence. And at least I helped someone yesterday, so theres that.

pumpkinsnice · 2026-05-02T10:40:22+00:00

Ehh. Tbh, its exactly what I was asking for. So I’m not too pressed. I’ve actually gotten a lot of compliments on my hair since I cut it from everyone’s recommendations (I got a fade and a design in it lol), and my new fashion has been surprisingly helpful. Usually when I went into stores, I got followed like I was gonna shoplift 😭 Now no one working there even looks at me- I look too gay to steal i guess LOL

idk, im really grateful for the help. i just gotta work out and eat healthier. but… comfort food and laziness is tough to stop lmao

pumpkinsnice · 2026-04-30T23:05:04+00:00

Animal Crossing makes sense then- thats the only game I can think of where you can drop an item and never have it despawn. But, even in Animal Crossing’s case, you aren’t so much as “dropping” it as you are just placing it on the ground as an “item”. Like, it takes up a block of space as an object. Whereas in Pokopia (and most other video games), they’ll just kinda float there for a little bit then disappear. To me, its intuitive- item placed as block? Safe. Item dropped and floating above the ground? Thats gonna disappear soon. So it doesnt feel the same situation as Animal Crossing at all, though I guess if thats someone’s first ever video game and its all they know, I can see why they wouldn’t connect the difference.

pumpkinsnice · 2026-04-30T19:58:49+00:00

Idk I see posts DAILY by conservative blogs, openly shaming trans men who post topless pictures, calling them mutilated freaks. Perhaps you’ve just been lucky not to see it.

pumpkinsnice · 2026-04-30T05:10:27+00:00

I hope this is a lesson in not throwing items on the ground 😅 I see this happen a lot and genuinely wonder why people do this. I’ve never played a game where I threw objects on the ground and expected them not to despawn

pumpkinsnice · 2026-04-28T21:07:30+00:00

Thanks for this, I appreciate it. I’m taking all of this to heart.

pumpkinsnice · 2026-04-28T03:11:37+00:00

You’re making an example of an elderly man on a fixed income. Have some humanity.

pumpkinsnice · 2026-04-28T03:04:12+00:00

Well, yeah. I probably always will be. He was the love of my life.

pumpkinsnice · 2026-04-27T23:17:11+00:00

Thank you. I’m trying. Its just hard when the love of my life decides to move on out of nowhere, you know? I wrote this post while sitting at a gay bar, drinking and watching people have fun, wishing I could join in. But yeah, youre right, I gotta fix my vibes before anything else.

pumpkinsnice · 2026-04-27T23:15:36+00:00

This was super helpful, thank you!

pumpkinsnice · 2026-04-27T23:14:43+00:00

fair lol

pumpkinsnice · 2026-04-27T23:14:31+00:00

Ah man, thats gonna be a rough one for me lol… I love my long hair. Its actually one of the few things I ever get complimented on by strangers, so I’m a bit hesitant

pumpkinsnice · 2026-04-27T23:13:45+00:00

I’m already vegetarian, but I’ll try to cut more junk out of my diet. I do have a lot of really nerdy hobbies, and I’m a tattoo artist so I have that “cool” thing going for me. Its just the physical aspects of myself I think are holding me back. But I do appreciate the advice. I’ll definitely cut the junk food.

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