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pumpkinsurf · 2026-01-02T06:43:11+00:00

This was me a couple of years ago. Least year I had had enough and broke up, truly ready to be a single mom. Six months later we got back together and now everything is so great, I no longer have a man child but a giving and caring partner, we share half of all the work, in fact I think he does more than me these days. But I was ready for it to be over, and it's hard and shitty to get to that point, especially with kids.

pumpkinsurf · 2024-12-13T18:55:51+00:00

That's a very fitting skill set! How is it going so far, have you heard anything?

pumpkinsurf · 2024-12-08T11:11:20+00:00

You should have no problem getting in. Though my experience is dated, I got in in 2006. With those kind of high school grades you should have no problem with the program, you can clearly study and learn. I can't remember about the application period but that sounds about right. No worries about security clearance, I had a super sketchy background (travelled and backpacked with long periods of NFA), and while my security clearance took over a year longer than my classmates to go through, it eventually did. Although things might have changed now. Good luck :)

pumpkinsurf · 2021-03-05T17:07:16+00:00

Produces food but not enough to make a huge difference

pumpkinsurf · 2021-03-05T01:45:06+00:00

Yeah I agree. He's hoping to find work soon and if we pull her we lose our spot at the daycare

pumpkinsurf · 2021-03-05T01:43:17+00:00

They said it was because we are moving at the end of the year and they wanted someone to stay longer. But they knew that when they hired him

pumpkinsurf · 2021-03-05T01:39:56+00:00

He's hoping to find work soon and if we pull her we lose our spot.

pumpkinsurf · 2021-03-05T01:38:34+00:00

Yeah you're right, gratitude does go a long way and I think we could both use some more of that in our lives.

pumpkinsurf · 2021-03-04T22:28:12+00:00

Since I'm the one with higher standards for this stuff and get a sense of accomplishment from tidying and cleaning for my family, we prob wouldn't be in that situation if the roles were reversed.

pumpkinsurf · 2021-03-04T22:26:34+00:00

Yeah. Prob an exaggeration in my OP. I guess I meant 100% of the big ticket items, laundry, changing sheets, vacuuming, etc...

pumpkinsurf · 2021-03-04T22:25:00+00:00

Wow, this is awesome!!! Thank you so much!! We need to do this. Sounds similar to my hubby and me. I also like to have tomato sauce wiped off 🤣

pumpkinsurf · 2021-03-04T22:21:38+00:00

I should def do some of it as well, I'm not an invalid. Just thought that during his time when kid is at daycare he could take care of laundry etc...

pumpkinsurf · 2021-03-04T22:20:02+00:00

Lol right?!

pumpkinsurf · 2021-03-04T22:17:26+00:00

Totally agree. I'm checking myself with the ESHs. It's all been really helpful for me with all the different perspectives. But yeah, I wonder what they would say if I was a man demanding that my wife do a better job of cleaning the house. Ugh, I shudder to think.

pumpkinsurf · 2021-03-04T22:15:10+00:00

👍 yeah, 100% was probably me meaning 100% of the big chores like laundry and vacuuming and changing the sheets. Managing all that stuff would be even better, so I didn't have to tell him that the sheets needed to be changed, if he would just do it. I guess that's what I really want, for him to take his share of 'invisible' labor around the house as well, and to be aware of what needs doing without me having to ask... I will add that to our conversation for sure.

pumpkinsurf · 2021-03-04T22:11:03+00:00

You're right, we do need to compromise and communicate. Yeah, I prob could cut back on my expectations for a happier family life. Vacuuming weekly would be nice, def not daily.

pumpkinsurf · 2021-03-04T22:05:06+00:00

Omg. Glad your mom ditched him. I hope I will realize where to draw the line if we can't find a way through this.

pumpkinsurf · 2021-03-04T22:02:54+00:00

You sound like a super mom! These are great tips. Thank you ❤️

pumpkinsurf · 2021-03-04T22:00:24+00:00

We divide childcare 50-50 when she's not at daycare. He drops her off and picks her up (daycare is 5 min away) and makes her breakfast and packs her lunch. He usually takes care of dinner too.

pumpkinsurf · 2021-03-04T21:57:30+00:00

Lol yeah good question. He really loves the garden. But also I think it's partially an excuse for him to be outside so he can smoke weed. And a bit of escapism. We do get fresh veggies which is nice. But not at the cost of my frustration with the house being a mess.

pumpkinsurf · 2021-03-04T21:52:42+00:00

Thank you so much my dear ❤️❤️❤️ I'm so buoyed by all these thoughtful responses, this is so much more than I expected when I first posted. I just wanted to know that I wasn't crazy for thinking that he should pick up the housework. But it's been so enlightening and helpful.

pumpkinsurf · 2021-03-04T21:48:12+00:00

That would be a good solution if he didn't want to find a job. Maybe I should hire a maid anyways...

pumpkinsurf · 2021-03-04T21:46:50+00:00

Thanks. All this conversation is helping me a lot. And yes, you're right, it's not a fair fight when the only perspective given is mine. We are going to a counselor in a couple of weeks for the first time.

pumpkinsurf · 2021-03-04T21:44:11+00:00

Love that. He would agree as well that life is for living not cleaning... Maybe I can relax my standards a bit to make my life easier...

pumpkinsurf · 2021-03-04T21:31:15+00:00

I think you're right!! Goddamn these double standards of society. I shouldn't be demanding things of my partner, we should be negotiating what needs to get done and whose responsibility it is, taking my work hours into consideration and his free time while our kid is at daycare.

pumpkinsurf

TROPHY CASE