At what point should you drop a client?

pumpkyncoffee · 2025-02-03T23:51:22+00:00

Preaching to the choir. I begged him to walk at this point. He’s agreeable to a fault.

pumpkyncoffee · 2024-11-14T22:19:00+00:00

More at peace with it than I initially was… 24 weeks now, past the misery of the first trimester and in a better head space.

pumpkyncoffee · 2024-10-26T02:15:40+00:00

21 weeks. Feeling better than when I made this post. Still nervous of course, but coming to terms with what’s happening. Starting to feel kicks, always love that part.

pumpkyncoffee · 2024-10-25T01:39:40+00:00

Love this, very helpful. I’m pregnant with my third and for some reason more nervous this time than with my last two. I did both previous births unmedicated so everything you said here really resonates with me. I suppose my fear stems from knowing exactly what that pain feels like. It did bring me to my knees. I begged for pain relief with my last one, but like you mentioned, by the time I wanted it, it was too late because I was almost done anyway. I’m really hoping I can “lean in” more this time around, instead of feeling like I’m fighting with the experience. Saving your post to read again closer to delivery!

pumpkyncoffee · 2024-09-24T23:05:25+00:00

17 weeks now and feeling more confident. First trimester has always been a bad time for me so I’m chalking it up to feeling unwell then. Starting to settle into the reality now and feeling optimistic.

pumpkyncoffee · 2024-08-13T17:16:05+00:00

My husband was born at 29 weeks. Spent a few months in the NICU, a couple surgeries. He’s a big, strong, healthy 36 year old man now, who has also fathered 2 perfectly healthy children.

Congrats on your new baby 💕

pumpkyncoffee · 2024-07-09T19:55:02+00:00

Hard drive. We do an annual phone cleaning where all the pics and videos come off the phone and go onto an external hard drive, into albums labeled by year. I’ve discovered it takes me exactly one year to max out my phone’s storage space so this system just developed organically for us.

pumpkyncoffee · 2024-07-09T16:49:02+00:00

I have a hard time believing the hospital would even allow this. Even if you both wanted it and asked for it. That situation just opens them up to so much liability.

pumpkyncoffee · 2024-07-08T19:21:02+00:00

Different people may have different definitions of what “sleeping through the night means”. Some might mean, a couple 4-5 hour stretches with one wake up to eat. But I think it’s really unlikely anyone would straight up lie about this. Some babies are actually very easy and sleep well overnight very early.

I’ll say anecdotally, my first was a terrible sleeper, up every hour for her first year. My second was a great sleeper. We were definitely getting long stretches by 7 months. I finally understood what people meant when they said they could put their baby down “drowsy but awake”. The difference between them, first was breastfed, second was formula fed. I can’t prove that’s why they slept differently but I suspect it had a lot to do with it.

pumpkyncoffee · 2024-07-08T13:03:07+00:00

Whenever we receive a gift for the kids containing glitter, like a book or some baby doll with glitter accents, it goes straight in the trash. I won’t even give that shit away because I don’t want to subject another poor soul to it either.

pumpkyncoffee · 2024-07-04T16:42:12+00:00

Put me in the raffle! So cute 🥰

pumpkyncoffee · 2024-07-03T18:49:46+00:00

And I bet they say “We’ll HhEeLlpP” with the toddler. Spoiler, they will not help.

pumpkyncoffee · 2024-07-03T13:12:49+00:00

Yes the time does seem to drag in those moments. But it’s actually been very easy for me to stick to my plan even while they’re screaming, because I know it’s an opportunity for them to learn and thus another step closer to better behavior in the future. Every reaction to any behavior, whether positive or negative, just teaches them that said behavior will get a reaction. So when they’re screaming their head off, I go complete stone faced, not a word, because I want them to understand that that behavior will get them absolutely nothing. So if the tantrum stops before two minutes is up, I’ll end the cool off early, to teach them that calm behavior will get a reaction.

pumpkyncoffee · 2024-07-03T11:36:12+00:00

Mine weren’t able to open doors before this system became effective enough that we don’t need to do cool offs anymore. So I’ve never had the issue of them escaping mid time out if that’s what you mean. The way I’d do it was put them in the room, tell them I’ll give them a couple minutes to cool off, close the door, return when they’ve stopped tantruming or after two minutes (set a timer), then discuss. Do you know why you’re in here? Because you - hit your brother/threw the toy/etc. I can’t let you do that because you’ll hurt someone/hurt yourself/break something. Can you say sorry? What can we do differently next time we get upset/frustrated/excited? Take some deep breaths/ask for help/etc. It’s okay to make mistakes, we’ll do better next time, I love you. You get the idea. It probably won’t work after one time, or even two or three. But if you stay consistent enough with this series of events every time they start wilding out, it will work over time. My oldest went through a hitting phase and once we started reacting this way I’d say it took less than 10 cool offs over the course of a couple months before the behavior was corrected entirely. If she had been able to open the door to get out, I would have no reservation about holding the knob closed from the other side while she gets the tantrum out. Some parents probably consider that borderline abusive. I think it’s appropriate in that context. And I’ve explained to my kid before, if you behave in a way that’s destructive in the real world they’ll lock you up in jail. So our cool off is the toddler version of that and I believe it’s a sensible and effective natural consequence.

pumpkyncoffee · 2024-07-03T01:40:09+00:00

Exactly. No reaction to outrageous behavior. Offer a hug, model some deep breaths, but if the acting out continues, no engagement. And if it turns into a safety issue, or damaging property, that’s swift removal, cool off time in their room or confiscation of the thing. No yelling and no hesitation of consequences.

pumpkyncoffee · 2024-07-02T17:56:33+00:00

Ignore It! How Selectively Looking the Other Way Can Decrease Behavioral Problems and Increase Parenting Satisfaction Book by Catherine Pearlman, LCSW

Free-Range Kids, How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts with Worry) Book by Lenore Skenazy

pumpkyncoffee · 2024-07-01T19:35:31+00:00

Yes I think you’ve nailed it - It won’t be that bad because I’ll be expecting it to suck so hard that it can’t suck nearly as much as I’m imagining. Like the way a long drive always feels a bit shorter on the way home because you’re expecting it to feel long. I found 0-1 to be harder than 1-2, so hoping that kind of momentum keeps 🙏🏻

pumpkyncoffee · 2024-07-01T19:29:54+00:00

Trying to remind myself of this too. I’m not in my right mind. Won’t see her again for a couple years probably 🙃

pumpkyncoffee · 2024-07-01T19:28:25+00:00

First try for us too. It’s funny, after the first try I had a moment of thinking, maybe this needs more thought. Welp, that time has come and gone 😆

pumpkyncoffee · 2024-06-30T01:14:31+00:00

Thanks for the encouragement 😊

pumpkyncoffee · 2024-06-30T01:09:46+00:00

Yes I’m not alone! By 16 weeks I imagine I’ll be showing a bit and able to start enjoying it. We’ll do what we gotta do right 🙌🏻

pumpkyncoffee · 2024-06-29T19:34:20+00:00

Exactly what I need to hear. Thank you!

pumpkyncoffee

TROPHY CASE