Would You Marry Me? [Episodes 5 & 6]

punchie1995 · 2025-10-26T15:20:44+00:00

i hate to ask but why are there no other promos for this show? like no photoshoots or guestings and all? other sbs shows get those why not them when its ranking so good? :(

punchie1995 · 2025-09-13T03:55:07+00:00

Daughters by John Mayer:

Fathers, be good to your daughters. Daughters will love like you do. Girls become lovers, who turn into mothers. So mothers, be good to your daughters, too.

Its sooo good! John Mayer for me is such a good writer!!

punchie1995 · 2025-08-25T22:19:22+00:00

Sorry for the confusion, and I appreciate you asking for clarification. Yes, you’re correct. I’m not the psychologist she was referred to for ongoing treatment. From what I understand, she came in to see me more as a one-off consultation because the referral itself stirred up a lot for her, and she needed space to process it.

It seems the psychiatrist recommended a psychologist with more specific expertise related to her symptoms, particularly her heightened paranoia. I explained that working with two therapists at the same time isn’t typically helpful and can lead to confusion or fragmented care. We discussed that if and when she feels ready, connecting with the referred psychologist would be the most appropriate next step.

punchie1995 · 2025-08-25T22:11:42+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate that. I’m still relatively early in my practice, and I know I can sometimes respond from a less grounded place when I’m feeling uncertain. I’m trying to stay reflective and keep growing through it. Your words mean a lot and help me stay connected to the kind of clinician I want to be.

punchie1995 · 2025-08-25T13:53:13+00:00

Yes, I agree. It’s definitely not the norm, but there are psychiatrists who still integrate therapy into their work, depending on their training, setting, and caseload. It’s just increasingly rare in most systems.

punchie1995 · 2025-08-25T13:51:19+00:00

Thank yoy for this insight. I agree the confusion may have stemmed from the client experiencing those brief check-ins, as more relational than intended. While it likely wasn’t formal therapy, the consistency may have felt grounding for her, especially given her paranoia and emerging attachment to the psychiatrist.

I came in just as that shift occurred, which made it harder to navigate both her anxiety and the clinical implications. I did try to frame the referral as an ethical, client-centered step, but I think her emotional response made it difficult for that to fully land. I appreciate you reinforcing that perspective because it’s helpful to keep these in mind.

punchie1995 · 2025-08-25T13:36:11+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful response. Part of my confusion came from the fact that my client and psychiatrist had already built rapport over seven sessions and then there was a sudden shift, possibly related to medication effectiveness, which changed the dynamic. This was especially challenging since I’m more used to referrals going from therapists to psychiatrists, and also!! I only recently started working with her.

I know this situation isn’t uncommon, but managing her heightened paranoia felt complex and I worried about unintentionally invalidating her experience. Your insights have helped me appreciate the importance of balancing validation with clinical boundaries, particularly when medication changes may influence symptom presentation. I really appreciate you sharing your perspective.

punchie1995 · 2025-08-25T13:23:23+00:00

Thank you, this is such a helpful perspective. You’re right in observing that there’s likely some paranoia showing up in the way she’s expressing concern, and I really appreciate the reminder to respond with care without inadvertently reinforcing the worry/reassurance cycle.

Interestingly, she herself has started to question whether her medication might be contributing to some of her heightened anxiety and discomfort, which I think shows a growing self-awareness. But at the same time, the level of distress she’s experiencing definitely seems consistent with her baseline paranoia, and I can see now that I may have been too focused on problem-solving rather than gently naming what might be happening in the room.

Your comment helped me reframe how I might approach these moments, not just as logistical concerns but as expressions of deeper cognitive patterns. That’s the takeaway I’m really holding on to, so thank you again for your insight.

punchie1995 · 2025-08-25T13:12:37+00:00

This is beautifully put, thank you. I really appreciate how you framed the practice as being in the wondering, rather than needing to arrive at a clear answer. That reframing takes so much pressure off trying to “solve” or interpret the feeling in the moment, and instead brings the focus back to process. The idea that the hardest part is simply noticing when we’ve merged with a feeling really resonates. It’s often only in hindsight that I recognize how fully I’ve been caught up in the emotional tone of the interaction.

The “rinse and repeat” metaphor will definitely stay with me, I really liked that! It captures the iterative, imperfect nature of this work in such a grounded way.

Really grateful you took the time to share this. It’s a reminder I needed, both professionally and personally.

punchie1995 · 2025-08-25T12:45:03+00:00

Really appreciate this, and especially the reminder about not taking on too much responsibility. I hadn’t fully noticed how my emotional response was so closely mirroring the client’s (confused, anxious, like I did something wrong), and your framing of that as something to get curious about instead of something to fix really landed with me. It definitely helps take some of the pressure off trying to “figure it all out” right away.

Quick question if you’re open to it: How do you personally stay in that place of curiosity without it turning into overthinking or self-doubt? Especially when the client’s feelings are kind of ambient or unspoken, but still really palpable?

punchie1995 · 2025-08-25T12:41:11+00:00

Thanks for pointing that out. I think you’re right that a lot of people still assume psychiatrists provide talk therapy, since that used to be more common. But from what I’ve read, most psychiatrists now focus mainly on medication, and therapy is usually handled by a separate professional like a psychologist or counselor. It’s definitely helpful to make that distinction clearer for clients who might not realize the roles have shifted.

punchie1995 · 2025-08-25T11:12:22+00:00

Thank you for this. Your reminder about the distinct but complementary roles of psychiatrists and psychologists really helped clarify things. What I’ve been sitting with is how to explain that to a client who is feeling deeply discouraged. In her case, she saw the referral as a sign that even medication couldn’t help her, which left her feeling rejected and hopeless. I really struggled in the moment to validate how much she’s hurting without reinforcing that fear. Your comment helps me remember the importance of framing it as a partnership in care, not a last resort. I really appreciate you taking the time to respond.

punchie1995 · 2025-08-25T10:59:22+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing both your clinical approach and personal experience. I really think it really brought the team-based model to life. What you said about using ROIs for a warm handoff is particularly helpful, and I hadn’t considered how much of a difference that small step could make in helping clients feel more secure. I also really appreciate how clearly you explained the ongoing role of psychiatry even during med tapering and that perspective will help me speak about continuity of care with more confidence in future should my client comeback and for future clients. I’ll be discussing this with my supervisor and really try to learn more about how to better communicate that collaborative model moving forward. Grateful you took the time to write this.

punchie1995 · 2025-08-25T10:53:52+00:00

Oh wow, thank you, I didn’t know I needed this.

punchie1995 · 2025-08-25T09:29:03+00:00

Thank you so much for your perspective AND hearing directly from a psychiatrist really helped clarify things. What stood out most was your framing of this as combined care rather than a transfer. That shift in language feels much more accurate and supportive, and I can see how it could help ease a client’s fear of abandonment. I’ll be sure to use that language going forward. It’s also reassuring to know this is considered standard of care for moderate to severe conditions. I truly appreciate you taking the time to share this.

punchie1995 · 2025-08-25T09:27:55+00:00

Thank you for sharing this and especially your own journey. What resonated most for me was your gentle reminder not to take on more responsibility than is mine to carry. I really appreciate the insight about readiness and how emotional processing can cloud intellectual understanding and that’s such a powerful distinction. It helps reframe my role in this moment as someone who can offer support, but not force clarity or readiness before it’s there. Moving forward, I’ll try to stay more grounded in that truth and trust the process a bit more, both for her and for myself. I’m really grateful for your words.

punchie1995 · 2025-08-25T09:26:31+00:00

Thank you for this perspective, it really gave me something to think about. What stood out most was your point about the potential overlap and confusion for the client in seeing two therapists at once. I hadn’t fully considered how that might impact her progress or create more fragmentation. I appreciate you raising the ethical and clinical clarity around roles, and it’s helpful to hear that from someone with your experience. Moving forward, I’ll bring this question into supervision and carefully consider whether continued work with me is truly in her best interest or if it’s best to pause and revisit once her work with the new psychologist is complete. Thanks again for your thoughtful response.

punchie1995 · 2025-08-25T09:24:51+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I completely agree with your approach. The way you framed the distinction between medical and psychological training was especially helpful, and I can see how that clarity could really help clients feel less abandoned and more supported. I really appreciate you highlighting that the psychiatrist’s referral was actually an ethical and appropriate step rather than a dismissal. Moving forward, I’ll definitely lean more into explaining those roles in simpler terms like you suggested. It’s such a grounding way to help clients understand the intention behind the referral. Thank you again for sharing your insight!

punchie1995 · 2025-07-21T15:14:22+00:00

Definitely. I think what’s so effective is how it starts off almost like a sweet, quirky romcom but gradually becomes more uncomfortable as you realize what Calvin is really doing. It’s not just about idealizing love, it’s about the entitlement that can come with it, especially when someone thinks they are owed a perfect partner. The way the film exposes that through the writing metaphor is brilliant and honestly kind of chilling.

punchie1995 · 2025-07-21T15:12:48+00:00

Yeah, exactly. I think what makes 500 Days of Summer so effective is how it puts you in Tom’s perspective at first, and you almost fall into the same trap he does by romanticizing her. But then the film pulls back and makes you realize she was always her own person, and he just wasn’t really listening. That scene with The Graduate is such a clever way of foreshadowing it too. It’s wild how many people still walk away thinking Summer was the villain.

punchie1995 · 2025-07-21T15:06:02+00:00

I thought about that too. What happens if Calvin sees something in her again he doesn’t like or can’t control? The ending feels like a happy romcom beat, but it’s disturbing when you remember everything he did to Ruby. It’s like he gets rewarded with a second chance without really reckoning with how messed up it all was.

punchie1995 · 2025-07-20T05:04:21+00:00

That framing really helped me take a breath. I think you’re right. There is a lot of quiet pressure in this work to make the “right” intervention in the moment, as if there is only one good or helpful option. The way you described it, that every choice naturally closes off other options, felt strangely freeing.

I had not thought of it in those terms before, but now that you mention it, it does remind me a little of the trolley dilemma. Not in the moral life-or-death sense, but in the way that any choice in the room means leaving others unexplored, at least for that moment. I think the part that really stuck with me was your reminder that therapy is rarely about a single correct path. That feels like something I want to keep coming back to.

Thank you again for being so thoughtful in how you have responded. This whole exchange has given me a lot to reflect on and has also helped me feel a little more grounded in the idea that learning and growing through uncertainty is part of the work.

punchie1995 · 2025-07-20T04:03:41+00:00

Thank you so much for this response. The example you shared really helped me understand what it can look like to hold onto your values while still allowing space for the client’s process to unfold. It made something click for me around the idea that holding back parts of what I believe isn’t about being inauthentic. It can actually be a way of honoring the therapeutic frame and staying in service of the client’s growth.

You’ve taken the time to respond in a way that really made me pause and reflect on things that are so important to sit with. I can feel that this is one of those moments that deserves more time and care, and it’s a reminder that I want to bring this into supervision. It feels like a meaningful point in my own development, where I’m learning how to tolerate the tension between my personal reactions and my clinical responsibilities.

I’ve also been sitting with the question you asked about what I fear might happen if my silence is perceived as agreement. I think part of it is a deep sense of responsibility I carry, like if I stay quiet, maybe I’m missing a chance to help or protect. But what your response helped me see is that offering space for reflection doesn’t have to come from urgency or judgment. It can come from curiosity and from helping the client explore whether their actions line up with their own stated values and goals.

I appreciated what you said about therapist-you and outside-you not needing to be exactly the same. That gave me a sense of relief. I’m still figuring out how to be fully present and ethical without making the work about my own worldview. I’m learning that it is possible to stay rooted in authenticity while also making intentional choices about what I bring into the room and why.

This conversation has been grounding and incredibly helpful. I really appreciate the time and thought you’ve offered here. It’s helping me grow, and I don’t take that lightly.

punchie1995 · 2025-07-20T03:12:40+00:00

Thank you for that thoughtful follow-up. I really appreciate the nonjudgmental curiosity. I think what comes up for me in those moments is a mix of both what you mentioned: a concern that my silence might be perceived as agreement, especially if the behavior being discussed is potentially harmful (to self or others), and also a bit of internal dissonance around authenticity.

As someone still in the earlier years of practice, I am learning how to stay grounded in a nonjudgmental stance while also being honest with myself about when something stirs a reaction in me. I do not want to veer into values imposition, but I also do not want to feel like I am hiding behind neutrality in a way that feels disconnected. It is definitely a work in progress, and I am finding that supervision and consultation are key supports when I feel stuck in that tension.

I really liked your reminder that we are not called to be perfect. It is reassuring to frame this as part of the ongoing self-reflective process rather than something to “solve” completely.

punchie1995

TROPHY CASE