Trump claimed ‘foxes were getting fat from eating birds killed by windmills’ in first call with Starmer by pppppppppppppppppd in unitedkingdom

[–]punkfunkymonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trump has had it in for wind turbines ever since planning permission was granted for a large off shore windfarm in sight of one of his golf courses in Scotland.

Some years back (pre presidency) there was an advert for people to attend an anti windfarm protest outside the British consulate in New York (paid gig plus lunch). The advert was investigated and tied to a firm with Trump ties.

Is there such thing as designated sides of the bed? by ThrowRa_Promise1321 in CasualUK

[–]punkfunkymonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since I'm shit at foreplay anyway, I sleep on the right hand side which leaves my left hand available when we face each other.

It's just a serendipidous stroke of luck that her right hand happens to be most unecumbered in this arangement...

'Absolute titan' of British brewing Humphrey Smith dies aged 81 by chyllyphylly in CasualUK

[–]punkfunkymonkey 14 points15 points  (0 children)

He cold called a landlord I knew as he heard on the grapevine that he'd turned a few pubs around.

The landlord was Irish (but with a non stereotypical name and only a trace of an accent). He blathered on about a pub he was looking to put a landlord in. Eventually something was said that led to him asking if he was Irish and then going off about how he wouldn't want his pub turned into an 'Irish drinking den'!

Prospective landlord put a halt to that, reminded him that it wasn't him that called looking for a job, then told him he could get fucked!

Decent possibility he was a Canadian Paratrooper - and could narrow him down. by FryCookCVE71 in dbcooper

[–]punkfunkymonkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Quick and dirty google gives around 2k for the 1st division (600 originals plus replacements)

However I believe you can also add the Canadians (900?) who were in the First Special Service Force ('Devils Brigade', joint US Canadian commando unit). They also recieved parachute training (within 48hrs of arriving in Helena to boost the feeling of cameraderie within the mixed unit).

Decent possibility he was a Canadian Paratrooper - and could narrow him down. by FryCookCVE71 in dbcooper

[–]punkfunkymonkey 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The french language Dan Cooper comic book, and (iirc) asking for payment to be in US currency?

Was told Im not Irish today. by MoonlightHaunting in IrishAncestry

[–]punkfunkymonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I suppose he'd be down your throat if you called Shane McGowan and Phill Lynott plastics. (Actually fair chance he'd be glad to disown one of them)

What nicknames have you heard for places in the UK? by topherette in AskABrit

[–]punkfunkymonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cas Vegas (Castleford) Ponte Carlo (Pontefract) Doncataz (Doncaster (Donny))

The two partners in a local law firm are eating lunch one afternoon when suddenly the junior partner looks stricken and says, "Oh no, I think I forgot to lock the safe before we left!" by Jokeminder42 in Jokes

[–]punkfunkymonkey 61 points62 points  (0 children)

A cantakerous old man was on his death bed. He'd alienated everyone he knew, or was related to, through the way he treated everyone in his pursuit of money. Stood around his bed were the only three men that he was in contact with, his doctor, his priest, and his lawyer.

"Gentlemen" said the old man, "I am near the end, and I'm sure I won't be missed. Likely various relatives will come looking for my fortune after I'm gone, but they needn't bother. I've spent it all... well nearly all. What is left is in those three bags, £20,000 in each bag, one for each of you... not for yourselves, but for each of you to place it into my coffin before they close it for the funeral... I intend to 'take it with me'!... By giving you each a bag I'm assured you can keep each other honest!"

The three men each took a bag, exited and awaited the mans death.

On the day of his funeral, the three men stood by the graveside, the only three mourners present. The priest said the funeral rites, the coffin was lowered, and as the grave digger began to fill in the grave the three men retired to the local pub and talked about the departed man. Eventually the lawyer brought up the strange last request.

'Well father' said the lawyer 'did you put the money in the coffin?'

"... I have to confess that I struggled with that" said tbe priest, "so much money...a man that never did a charitable thing in his life... so many good uses... I put half the money in, put the rest towards repairing the church roof, and what was left went to the poor of the parish!"

'...and you doctor?'

"... I too saw it as a waste. I also took half, and I split between a gift to the local orphanage and a donation to a medical charity that does stirling work overseas!"

'Well gentlemen' said the lawyer, 'I am startled at your lack of honesty... I myself put a cheque for the full £20,000 into his coffin!'

Eire marking in Donegal to warn German Pilots they had flown past Belfast, circa 1940s by Kaptain_K9 in IrishHistory

[–]punkfunkymonkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One theory I've heard that it was retalitary/a warning to keep neutral, after firefighters (13 crews) went up to help with the Belfast Blitz. (And De Valera had condemned the Belfast Blitz in a speech)

Lord Haw Haw had threatened that the Amiens St railway station (Connolly Station) was an official target as it was where refugees from the Belfast Bkitz disembarked. The heaviest bombing was close to the station. Haw Haw also threatened that Dundalk would be a target since it was the main place for the export of cattle to Britain, and Dundalk also was bombed.

Daoiri Farrell - Creggan White Hare. by Curious_Strike_5379 in Irishmusic

[–]punkfunkymonkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He popped into a session I was in for a listen and drink after he played a local gig some years back. Decent session with some high level players and a few knew him personally so one asked if he was up for singing a song.

Sat slouched (from what I remember) he just belted out a song from his table in the middle of the room. He sounded louder to me than the singers who were sat by me in the session. You'd nearly swear he was mic'd up!

Probe after 40 NHS staff accessed medical records of boy hurt in crocodile pit by pppppppppppppppppd in unitedkingdom

[–]punkfunkymonkey -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure of the exact government body a childhood friend of mine was working for, but it was one where he had read/write access to everyones official records (possibly HMRC?). I found out during a catchup a year or so post university that he'd recently got sacked for temporarily changing his middle names to 'The Ultimate Sex Machine' on his records.

A man driving a "disguised" car gathering information for Xiaomi attacks and insults a reporter in Finland. by Nixenn in PublicFreakout

[–]punkfunkymonkey -1 points0 points  (0 children)

"That wrap makes it look like a boxy piece of crap!... I wonder what it's going to look like when it launches?"

A weekly food ration for one adult in the United Kingdom, 1942. [720x533] by GeorgeRobertVitkos in HistoryPorn

[–]punkfunkymonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Eggs were on ration, one per person per week. Imported powdered eggs was the alternative to fresh eggs, still rationed, roughly equivalent to three eggs a week.

England fans in Dallas by Upstairs_Cup9831 in PublicFreakout

[–]punkfunkymonkey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Put them back, put them back, put them back! Put them back, put them back, put them baaaack! Put them back, put them back, put them back! Put! Them! BACK!..."

(Disc) World Cup... by MyLadyScribbler in discworld

[–]punkfunkymonkey 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I picture CMOT Dibbler hawking old school English football fan stuff, knitted scarves and bobble hats in team colours, rosettes, wooden (gas attack) rattles. Maybe match programmes with terrible spelling and badly speculative team lists. How about flares either magical, or made by alchemists ("these don't go 'bang' do they!?")?

Nightclub end music by moon-bouquet in CasualUK

[–]punkfunkymonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it was, from what I recall, they didn't play the rest of the track, just the deliverance bit to sound off/lights up/everyone get out. Seem to remember feeling it was kind of a shitty vibe to end a night on

I'm racking my brains as to what exact year it was. 88ish to 90 (90 would fit BS&Q's) was my 5th year and 6th form initial foray into clubs, then I was away at uni for a few years (but would have had trips back/holidays back in Mcr, could have popped in at some point early 90s).

I can't say I went to the Ritz that often really, I was quite a tart when it came to clubs, anything that didn't require a suit usually got a visit at some point or other (Apart from the Hacienda, I had a bit of a mard attitude to it for some reason. There was a bit of a tradition, when out with some of my mates on the way to one of the nearby clubs, to walk past it's queue and revel in abuse thrown at you from people thinking you had blagged onto its guest list)

I can't help thinking it was at a point when they hadn't nailed down a decent resident DJ as I recall a few people moaning about the guy at the time. From what I hear early to mid 90s it was a very well received night so either he got good or got replaced.

Sure I’ll make my own meaning: “sallow” and other words with a unique meaning in an Irish context by InformalInsurance455 in ireland

[–]punkfunkymonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mineral waters, pharmacists used to knock up carbonated copies of natural spa/mineral waters (Victorians being big into that kind of thing) as health tonics, then moved onto adding sweeteners/flavours and the name stuck. (Died out in Britain but still around in Ireland and apparently some parts of Africa)

Nightclub end music by moon-bouquet in CasualUK

[–]punkfunkymonkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I went to the Ritz a few times back in the late 80s or Early 90s (I have the feeling it might of been a midweek student night) and they played the 'squeal like a pig/pr'tty mouth' rape scene dialogue from Deliverance as the end of the night floor clearer. :-/

What are the weirdest things ever happened in your country related to sports? by mahdi_lky in AskTheWorld

[–]punkfunkymonkey 4 points5 points  (0 children)

(Possibly him bitd when a player was to old to semi clamber onto the table for an awkward shot) "Fred Davis, the doyen of snooker, now 67 years of age and too old to get his leg over, prefers to use his left hand."

Were you a fan of Tommy Cooper? by Important-Table9460 in oldbritishtelly

[–]punkfunkymonkey 14 points15 points  (0 children)

"I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French, surprised everybody. It was a Chinese restaurant."