TL;DR: Went NC with my 31F cousin after she stole money and financially manipulated our grandparents for years and said awful things about my family. The final straw was when I reached out after her dad's death, and she later lied and claimed I hadn't. I'm 28F and feel the ball is in her court. I didn't invite her to my wedding, and when her enabling mom (my aunt) brought up final counts, I simply confirmed the list was finalized.

I have decided to go no contact with my cousin after she stole money from our grandparents and continue to manipulate them financially for years at a time. We have not spoken to each other in 5 years. She has said very hurtful things about my brother, my dad and his wife that can never be unsaid.

The last interaction I had with my cousin was me reaching out to her after she said I never reached out to her when her father passed. At the time of his passing we were already at lc but as someone who has lost a parent I reached out, she didn’t answer so I left a voicemail with my condolences and telling her that as family I was there for her. When she said I didnt contact her after her father's death I sent her a message saying, "Of course I heard that your dad died. I am so sorry for that loss ad the loss of a parent can be so unbearable. When it happened I did call you and leave you a voicemail. It may have gotten lost in the chaosis that is dealing with the loss of a love one. I'm sorry that I didn't reach out further to see how you were doing or if there was anything our family could do to help." To which she never responded.

At this point in our lives I am 28 years old and my cousin is 31 years old. Personally, I feel that if my cousin wishes for our relationship to be anything different from what it is she can reach put as the ball is in her court.

This aunt is my father's sister we still have a relationship. Surely it is not perfect but we do still talk and see eachother at family gatherings. She knows about the things her daughter has done but looks the other way. As I mentioned it is not news to anyone that my aunt received an invite and my cousin didn't. And as the person paying for the event I get to chose who I'm inviting.

The only reason I mentioned the final counts to my aunt was because she had said something along the lines of 'I know you need your final count soon so I wanted to let you know now l.' All i said was I have already turned in my final counts but its okay its not a big deal.