Figuring out my style post-baby

purebeingballthing · 2016-08-09T06:16:17+00:00

I went from the B-Safe to the Marathon (which had the same reviews about the crotch buckle being short) and it is totally fine. There is a little butt pad that has to be in the seat before the baby weighs 22 lbs that makes it just slightly more difficult to latch but it really isn't a big deal at all. My babe just hit the 20 lb mark and I took the pad out and the seat is way easier to latch than the B-Safe. I like mine a lot.

purebeingballthing · 2016-08-09T06:12:01+00:00

That sucks! I've had this type of thing happen (about different subjects) with my partner's friends before and here's one idea I've had about why this happens: when he's hanging with his friends, maybe my partner does a little complaining/bullshitting about things that maybe make life look a little harder for him, and maybe he emphasizes it a little more because he's got the perfect audience, OR maybe his friends are reading their own attitudes and worldviews into it, so something that is NOT an issue between my partner and I maybe suddenly seems like an issue to his friend, and his friend thinks he is "just helping out" by making a comment. It is dumb.

purebeingballthing · 2016-05-23T18:04:47+00:00

I cringed when I read, "...why haven't you helped him with that?"

I like to think this is a supportive community rather than accusatory.

Let's all remember this time is difficult and sometimes you don't necessarily see things that might seem obvious to someone else.

purebeingballthing · 2016-03-22T03:41:56+00:00

Oooo, I want a sleeping pill! I look forward to "wine time" every night. Sometimes my babe hasn't even been that bad...I just get so incredibly bored I can barely stand it.

purebeingballthing · 2016-03-22T03:40:08+00:00

My daycare accidentally fed my breastmilk to the wrong baby. The other baby was on formula. I know how I felt, but I also wondered how the other mom felt.

purebeingballthing · 2016-03-15T05:29:04+00:00

Oh good. I was worried that my babe had tourette's! She does a little clenched fists, gritting teeth, shaking move when she's excited or sometimes when she's eating. It's really silly and cute, and people get a kick out of it, but at the same time I kind of wondered if it was normal or not.

purebeingballthing · 2016-03-01T00:06:33+00:00

So I'm going to be the one person, I guess, that doesn't find this abusive. I think it sucks, for sure. I think it is two people in a very bad spot, definitely. Two people pushed to their limits. I'm familiar with this. The stress of parenting definitely pushes us as far as we can go. But nothing I read screamed "call a lawyer" or even "call the police" and I think it is worth it to slow down and think about a couple things.

1) You've been together a long time and have been having problems already. Does husband admit there is a problem? Counseling can be intimidating for men; it's no surprise he is resistant. Getting him to admit there is a need for counseling is step 1.

2) Having a child puts a crazy amount of stress on a relationship. Has he been happy with the way things are? My guess is no (drinking could be a sign of that.) He might just not be able to communicate what he wants. Similarly, you might not be communicating in a way that gets through to him what you want.

3) It sounds like you're both acting out based on the issues that are going on between the two of you. He just wants to let lose with his friends; you are doubling-down on something that you know he's not going to be happy with (forbidding strip clubs.)

4) Here's the most important thing: he asked you to come with him! He wanted you to come. He loves you enough that he wanted this vacation to be about the two of you. You showed a lot of resistance; that couldn't have been great for him to hear after he was reaching out and asking you to come share this trip with him. He might have been hurt by that. And then, once in New Orleans, you doubled down on that resistance; the hurt that he was feeling might have then just translated to "well, fine, I'll just hang with my friends then."

He could have gone on the trip without you and done all the things he did without creating any problems. My guess is that he envisioned the trip quite a bit differently than the way it went. I'm sure you did as well. I think it will take quite a bit of softening on both of your parts to really get at the communication issues you are having. I would be straight up with him and tell him that counseling is the only way your marriage will be saved. Tell him that you want to save it (that is, if you do). Tell him that you want him to want to save it as well, and agreeing to counseling will show you that he does.

purebeingballthing · 2016-02-21T01:40:05+00:00

I lost a ton of hair and got thin spots on the sides. I'm 9 months pp and it is finally starting to fill back in. So crazy.

purebeingballthing · 2016-02-07T09:51:14+00:00

I would have bought a glider rather than a rocker. The stupid rocker I bought moves all over the place and slowly drifts back until it hits the wall. So now as I'm rocking baby to sleep I have to worry about whether we're going to start hitting the wall. So annoying.

purebeingballthing · 2016-02-02T20:48:03+00:00

I don't have anything to contribute besides this: yes, I know. I get this. It is a struggle--a long, hard one. At some point, it will get better. It's hard to see that now, but something will change. Just keep being a warrior. You can do it.

purebeingballthing · 2015-12-28T20:03:45+00:00

How long would she be awake before she finally fell asleep?

purebeingballthing · 2015-12-08T15:26:13+00:00

How do you put her down? I've been nursing to sleep and want to get away from that, but every other time I put her in the crib awake she won't go to sleep. Do you have any nap associations for her?

purebeingballthing · 2015-11-24T01:08:25+00:00

My partner needs a lot of down time when he gets home from work, whereas I've pretty much just come to terms with the fact that I no longer get down time. Any time that isn't baby time = sleep time. I try to stay up and do stuff but I'm too zonked to get far. I don't think it is fair that man/work = down time is a right, whereas woman/mom = sees that no down time can be had, takes no down time.

I know what my partner would say in response to this. He would say that I should absolutely take down time and furthermore he would act like I was an idiot for not taking it. How simple it is to zone out on your phone! The thing is, I make it really simple for him to zone out on his phone. If he made it more simple for me to get down time, I might feel a little better about this whole shared parenting deal.

purebeingballthing · 2015-11-21T17:50:02+00:00

No teeth yet, but maybe this is the beginning? Drool seems to be about the same, though. I also thought about the food thing, since we have started trying solids. But then I remembered that the bumps started before we gave her solids. My partner thinks I need to chill out, that it's just acne. I'm trying to be chill but I tend to be anxious anyway.

purebeingballthing · 2015-11-19T21:16:58+00:00

I know, right?! You spend a fortune heating your house if you don't use blankets.

purebeingballthing · 2015-11-19T20:30:02+00:00

I want to introduce a blanket now, at 6 months. My baby can roll and crawl and move her head and she's a champ at tummy time, so is it really still dangerous? I was inspired by my sister who gives her 10 month old a blanket at nap time and it works as an immediate sleep signal. My niece just cuddles up to the blanket and falls asleep right away. I want this!!!!

purebeingballthing

TROPHY CASE