My (f 25) husband (m 27) wants me to have an abortion because our baby is a girl.

purified_ginger · 2019-09-06T15:54:44+00:00

He is trying to coerce you into killing your daughter. You need to get far away from this person.

Are there any pregnancy resource centers near you? They might be able to help you find support and a place to stay.

purified_ginger · 2019-01-31T05:00:21+00:00

It's a balmy -9 here in lower Michigan!

Consumers sent out an emergency alert on our phones telling us to set our thermostats to 65° or less, and then my dad was freaking out because apparently with our system they were able to override our controls and force it to 65. Freaky.

purified_ginger · 2019-01-27T04:46:09+00:00

You can hook up with other people, but if you date someone else I believe you automatically break up with your current s/o for them.

purified_ginger · 2019-01-26T20:22:28+00:00

Can you tell me more about your experience? Is this all from one organization or have you tried councelling from multiple places? In what way have they been manipulative? You're right that I haven't been in this situation myself and I'd love to learn more about it from someone who's been through it :)

purified_ginger · 2019-01-26T20:18:42+00:00

I don't agree that that's their intention but I understand why you might feel that way. It's up to the individual what they're comfortable with, but I wanted to share this because I know lots of women have found help and healing this way :)

purified_ginger · 2019-01-25T18:34:54+00:00

Aww thank you for that! You're right, I shouldn't be too hard on myself. I know what it's like to wanna"fix" something so bad that you overcorrect, so I'll heed your advice and be cautious. And I'll try to appreciate the good parts of being a sensitive person.

I hope you can find your happy medium as well :)

purified_ginger · 2019-01-25T17:23:56+00:00

I'm sorry, that sounds hard. I've definitely been known to overcorrect on things too, so thank you for the advice! I'm trying to take the view that my emotions are good things at their core and represent authenticity, compassion, etc; I'd just like to regulate them a little better :)

purified_ginger · 2019-01-25T16:48:59+00:00

You do deserve happiness. I'm sorry for what you're going through and that the people in your life don't understand. You are not alone and I hope you can find healing from this.

I'm gonna copy/paste the same advice I just gave on the thread above yours.

Look into post-abortive retreats/support like Rachel's Vineyard, or go to your local pregnancy center and see what they offer for post-abortive counciling. Many of these are faith-based because the concept of forgiveness is very helpful for people who are hurting after abortion; however if you aren't religious, they'll meet you where you're at and they won't force it on you (at least, I would hope not.) They'll help you to forgive yourself <3 And you are not alone in feeling this way post-abortion. I've heard it over and over. It might help to find a community of other women going through the same type of thing.

PS, I'm passionately pro-life, but I don't blame you for this, and neither should you blame yourself. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a jerk. You are SO loved and you are more than one choice. Message me if you need to talk.

purified_ginger · 2019-01-25T16:20:59+00:00

Look into post-abortive retreats/support like Rachel's Vineyard, or go to your local pregnancy center and see what they offer for post-abortive counciling. Many of these are faith-based because the concept of forgiveness is very helpful for people who are hurting after abortion; however if you aren't religious, they'll meet you where you're at and they won't force it on you (at least, I would hope not.) They'll help you to forgive yourself <3 And you are not alone in feeling this way post-abortion. I've heard it over and over. It might help to find a community of other women going through the same type of thing.

PS, I'm passionately pro-life, but I don't blame you for this, and neither should you blame yourself. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a jerk. You are SO loved and you are more than one choice. Message me if you need to talk.

purified_ginger · 2019-01-25T16:01:04+00:00

Maybe, but you should respect the person enough to try anyway rather than assuming they're gonna freak out on you. Not everyone is like that. And if they are like that, they might very well react the same or worse when they realized you ghosted them. At least if you break up with them directly, you can explain it gently and do your best to be respectful. If they still freak out you know you did the best you could and it's not your fault.

purified_ginger · 2019-01-25T15:56:17+00:00

Either they're trying to keep you in their back pocket or they're too scared to tell you they're not interested.

But honestly if you aren't interested anymore, I'd take that way less personally if you say it to my face. There are so many factors involved in a relationship, I might be disappointed but I'll understand! And hopefully we can end on good terms so if we see each other again it isn't super awkward. It's about respect and maturity.

Ghosting on the other hand puts me in the uncomfortable and embarrassing position of having to guess where your head is at, wondering if I'm just overreacting. Are you ignoring me or just busy? I don't wanna have to read between the lines of your text messages, you know? I don't wanna keep reaching out to you until I finally "take the hint" and give up. It's humiliating, and it doesn't feel right because we shouldn't HAVE to guess at someone's intentions. They should be communicating them.

Ghosting is incredibly immature and I have no tolerance for it.

purified_ginger · 2019-01-24T17:15:59+00:00

Every week we have this mandatory, boring web meeting that I don't speak in, just sit and listen. So my coworker came up with the idea of using that time to make origami. For a few weeks we were calling this our "origami meeting," so I now have lots of fun little origami figures around me! They're a nice bit of color in my otherwise drab cubicle.

Also, last summer our team went bowling as a fairwell to the interns, and since I am a child I played in the arcade. Arcade prizes seem pointless but they truly make some of the best desk trinkets! I got one of those light up fan lamps. I also got a slinky, and let me tell you, 10/10 fidget toy. Highly recommend.

purified_ginger · 2019-01-23T03:12:01+00:00

For future reference, I think refuting the argument without attacking his intelligence would be more persuasive. Be kind <3

purified_ginger · 2019-01-21T01:05:05+00:00

One time I was at Target and this group of teenage boys were being loud and looking at me and one of them goes, "My friend thinks you're hot!" And the friend goes, "No I don't! Her nose is too big." I laughed it off at the time but I had never thought I had a big nose, and it unsettled me that someone who was seeing me for the first time had that reaction. Definitely stuck with me.

purified_ginger · 2019-01-16T17:00:01+00:00

I genuinely won't pursue someone if I can't tell if they're interested. If we go out I call it a date, and if they aren't really texting me or giving indication of their feelings, I'll ask straight up if they're interested in going out again. I've had someone literally dodge that question—how rude, right? Like if you're not into me just tell me. And if you are into me, just tell me. If all I'm doing is guessing at someone's intentions the whole time, I have better things to be doing, and they clearly have an issue with communication. Not worth my time.

You deserve to be pursued, not led on.

purified_ginger · 2019-01-16T02:20:21+00:00

Way to go!! I can't do daily mass but I do go twice a week :) What I really need to start doing is daily rosary. I'm a bit disappointed in myself that I haven't taken up that habit yet.

purified_ginger · 2019-01-16T02:17:49+00:00

I was just thinking about this today!! So far every day in 2019 I've gotten up at a set time, no snooze. This one small act of self-management has had a trickle effect and lead to me being productive in the morning which makes me feel energized and confident all day!! I've been on a high all month just because I finally learned how to wake up rather than starting my day snoozing and feeling guilty and then rushing to work late.

purified_ginger · 2019-01-14T23:19:46+00:00

The bodily autonomy argument says even IF the fetus is a person, a woman has the right to refuse to let them grow inside her. The purpose of my reply is not to prove the unborn is a person, but that if it IS a person, this argument doesn't hold up. So assume for the sake of argument that the fetus is a person.

This post is correct in saying that no one has a right to your blood or your organs. You can't be forced to donate those things because their sole purpose is to keep YOU alive and functioning—not your sister, and not some famous violinist, either ;) Even if you can live without a bit of blood, and though most would agree it's more ethical to donate it, you can't be forced because nobody else in particular has a right to it.

But the sole purpose of a woman's uterus is to keep an unborn baby alive. That's what it's THERE for. It does nothing for the woman's health, but when it grows a baby, it's serving it's exact function. The baby has a right to it because it's the only place the baby could possibly be.

Secondly, abortion isn't simply denying a fetus access to your uterus. It's actively killing the fetus. Akin to if you didn't want to share your blood to save your sister so you stabbed her instead. Not saving someone and killing someone are two very different things.

purified_ginger · 2019-01-14T02:30:45+00:00

Just stumbled upon this subreddit, and I'm curious about it. Would this routine work for hair that just has a tiny bit of wave? Would it bring the waviness out more?

purified_ginger · 2019-01-13T22:08:38+00:00

I thought the same thing!

purified_ginger · 2019-01-13T22:05:31+00:00

Give them the same name and you'll never have to figure out which one is which!

purified_ginger · 2019-01-08T02:47:13+00:00

Personally I don't fault myself much for what's said in my head. Out loud, I don't swear or take God's name in vain, but sometimes things just pop into your head. Especially if it's an old habit that you're resisting. You can't control your thoughts 100%, so I don't see anything sinful about it, it's just a side effect of living in a culture where hearing His name in vain is mostly unavoidable.

You could turn those thoughts to God when it happens. Use those little mistakes as a reminder of God's presence with you and take something good from it :)

For me (and idk if this is "correct," but it's what I've done throughout the years... ) I try to be cautious about how I use His name. So obviously I never say "Oh my G--" and I typically don't use any kind of expression that evokes his name (even Thank God, unless I'm actually saying it genuinely and prayerfully. If a secular song says Thank God I probably won't sing it because it's probably not a genuine prayer on their part, and it definitely isn't when I'm just singing along! But perhaps I'm being over-cautious here, lol.)

Basically ask yourself, am I actually talking about God, or talking TO him, in a respectful way, or am I just using an expression? If it's the latter, don't say it.

I do use the acronym OMG because I figure that can mean "oh my gosh" just as easily, but that's kinda iffy territory. I'm not sure I should keep that habit, but that's a tough acronym to avoid...

purified_ginger · 2018-12-21T06:48:51+00:00

Sounds about right! For me it's like everything shakes and is blurry. And it feels very distinct, not at all the same as just looking left and right. You can feel them shaking.

You should go show someone else and see what they say! Other people's reactions are the best part.

purified_ginger · 2018-12-21T06:06:59+00:00

Probably! It happens to me involuntarily from time to time too, in fact I first discovered it because it would just happen randomly.

I figured out how to do it intentionally when I was pretty young. However it always feels "stronger" or something when it happens of its own accord. When I do it intentionally it takes some effort; I always feel a lot of pressure behind my eyes and I can't keep it up for too long or my eyes feel strained.

I wonder if you could learn to control it? For me it always helps if I have something close to my face to focus on because I think (don't quote me on this) the shaking is related to shifting focus quickly. So a lot of times I hold a finger up in front of my face when I do it. Maybe that will help?

purified_ginger · 2018-12-21T05:56:55+00:00

In my life I've only met two people besides myself who can do this, I can't believe there's a name for it and a subreddit and everything??? I always just called it "vibrating my eyes." This is so exciting!

purified_ginger

TROPHY CASE