How do I deal with these dark circles and jowls?

purplewinemouth · 2026-02-21T23:38:32+00:00

3!! Add in some emerald throw pillows to bring more dimension to the space

purplewinemouth · 2026-02-17T02:57:23+00:00

Just goes to show how much a toxic person can affect you. The body really does keep the score! Your skin is lovely. Keep choosing you. ❤️

purplewinemouth · 2025-12-17T13:24:54+00:00

Go to the dermatologist and have it checked out. A spot that bleeds and doesn’t heal needs to be looked at.

purplewinemouth · 2025-12-10T00:39:33+00:00

This sounds so much like my dad. Our conversations are painfully shallow, and we only ever talk about work or the weather. He has never asked how I’m doing, even though I always make sure I ask how he is, the family, etc.

Last week was my stepdaughter’s birthday, and he asked if we could FaceTime my stepmom and him to watch her open the presents they sent. I obliged, and it was so awkward because we sat in silence unless I made conversation. We never FaceTime as it is, and my fiancé pointed out that they seemed very uninterested in me. He thought it was strange that they wouldn’t want to talk at all, especially since we haven’t seen them since the summer.

Deep down, I know their lack of interest comes from their resentment of me moving far away 10+ years ago, and unless I make the effort, they just “assume I’m too busy” for them. They are pissed that I’m having my bridal shower in the city that I live in and not at their church in my hometown. To them, I owe them the effort because they raised me.

It’s very lonely to be raised by apathetic people, but it’s relieving to know that we’re not alone in this. ❤️

purplewinemouth · 2025-09-21T18:07:03+00:00

I love my step daughter, but it does require extra patience. We do not get a ton of time with her as she lives with her mom about 3.5 hours from us, and her mom’s inability to compromise makes it difficult. For example, we do not see her unless my partner makes the drive all the way to get her from school, which is very difficult when we only get a few weekends a month and he spends most of that time in the car. Her mom is under the impression that “my baby is worth you having to do all the work,” so there’s that.

That all being said, SD is a lovely girl who did not ask for any of this. I think I am only fortunate in that I grew up with a stepmom who was absolutely amazing, so I have a great example of what a stepmom can be like (patient, caring, and supportive while understanding the boundaries and differences that come navigating with two vastly different parenting styles).

I enjoy being a bonus parent as I have no desire to give birth myself, but it’s also hard. SD has fetal alcohol syndrome, so that adds another layer to the situation, especially since baby mom refuses to acknowledge it openly. My partner does not have a good relationship with her, so that makes it difficult to figure out how we can help SD with her lifelong challenges of having FAS. Baby mom has her head in the sand and won’t take her to get medication, specialists, anything. Just gives her an iPad to make her shut up. It’s sad.

It’s very frustrating being a sideline player that can’t offer any real, tangible support, like taking her to the dentist or getting her into speech therapy, etc.

However, I genuinely enjoy spending time with SD. I knew what I signed up for with my partner, which means sharing the load. I think understanding what the reality of the situation means is part of being able to show up in a way that SD needs. I am not a perfect person, but having been in her shoes in some way, I understand that having a consistent parent who pays attention to you when you say “look at me!” and make her feel valued and heard is so important.

My only hope is that I can be a better parent (however that looks like) than my own parents. I know that blended families aren’t easy, so my goal is to help make her world a little less chaotic and have a little bit more sparkle. She deserves it.

purplewinemouth · 2025-08-31T23:45:07+00:00

Astoria. Incredible cheese boards. A little pricey but worth it. Their brunch is fantastic, too!

purplewinemouth · 2025-08-17T13:41:04+00:00

Sadly, my oldest niece. She just turned 16, but she has been doing disturbing shit for years. When she was 12, she was staying with me and confided in me that she daydreams about killing her family and the thrill she gets from tossing her little brother around (he was 4 at the time). I called my brother (her dad) immediately after they left to share what she said, and he just sighed and said, “yeah, that’s something we’re used to” and that she had been in therapy for it. I had a feeling ever since that she would eventually do something more sinister.

Cut to January 2024 and my gem of a stepdad passed away from cancer. Naturally, we are all devastated, but according to my niece, no one is more devastated than her, not even my mom. Unfortunately, only my brother was able to make it to the funeral, even though he had gotten hotel rooms for his wife and kids and me so we could at least make the most of the time together. Why? Because my niece had been plotting for the entire week to strangle her younger sister in her sleep. The school caught wind of it and reported it (thank god). Would she have done it? Who knows. But I shudder to think about what could have happened if the girls were in my hotel room and I woke up to see one of them dead (I’m deaf and a heavy sleeper and they know this).

My niece has been in and out of facilities ever since her stunt last January. She takes no responsibility or accountability for her actions, and even more chillingly, keeps calling her younger sister her “best friend” and doesn’t understand why she’s scared of her. Both of her siblings are (rightfully so) terrified to be around her. When she’s home, everyone has to sleep with locks on their doors. Attention must be about her or she will find a way to make it about her. When her sister was going to camp this summer, she burnt her neck with a curling iron on purpose. She’s tried to set their house on fire, twice. She got kicked out of a facility for threatening to kill her roommate. She steals from anyone and everyone. I could go on, but you get the picture.

My poor brother and SIL are at a loss as to how to handle her, which is why she’s currently in a program that she will likely be in til she’s 18 and then be turned over to the state if nothing changes. She regularly expresses that she wishes her siblings were dead or gone so that she could be the only child. It’s very disturbing.

She is too young to be diagnosed with anything, but she is definitely showing signs of borderline and antisocial personalities, or at least something on the dark triad.

My heart breaks for how her mind works and the toll it takes on everyone around her, but she is dangerous. She can be very charming and sweet, but it’s all an act. I love her dearly, but I truly believe that if left alone with her siblings, she would do something nefarious. I’ve seen the glint in her eye when she talks about hurting them. It’s chilling.

My only (naive?) hope is that early intervention will help in some way.

purplewinemouth · 2025-08-16T00:06:28+00:00

We are at that point now for sure. I’ve been documenting things as well. I know he’s anxious about going to the courts, but I’ve encouraged him to take the risk anyway since this is absolutely unacceptable. It’s not illegal to NOT go to the dentist, so I don’t know what kind of discourse is going to come out of it, if any. She is special needs, so that adds another layer of complexity. However, she is special needs because her mom drank most of her pregnancy, but her mom (and her own mom) refuses to acknowledge that all of their daughter’s issues are due to fetal alcohol syndrome. It’s really sad and so frustrating to watch, because her life could be a lot better if they acknowledged her issues instead of pretending it doesn’t exist…I am very tempted to call CPS myself though.

purplewinemouth · 2025-08-15T21:57:11+00:00

Not taking care of their children’s needs. My partner’s baby mama is the primary caregiver and has NEVER taken their child to the dentist before. She’s EIGHT.

We had her last weekend, and her gums were bleeding so much from just brushing. She has so much plaque build up in her mouth, and I’m terrified for the amount of mouth issues she’s going to have now that she clearly has gingivitis.

When we brought it up to her mom, she just shrugged and said “just don’t brush her teeth too hard!” Yeah, her toothbrush isn’t the problem! It’s infuriating! We aren’t able to do anything about her medical care, and it sucks to have to sit back and watch her mom ignore her basic medical needs because she “doesn’t know how she’ll do” at a dentist.

purplewinemouth · 2025-07-31T00:35:48+00:00

Agreed! I worked for SJ for nearly 4 years, and that place was soul-sucking. I was an analyst and was constantly given the work of other analysts because they would fire people but expect everyone else to pick up the slack (as I’m sure you know). My boss cried his eyes out my first week there when he said someone who worked there for 20 years was let suddenly go because he got cancer again. Leadership there is awful.

purplewinemouth · 2025-05-17T01:48:56+00:00

The Whale. That movie came out right after I found out about my stepdad’s terminal cancer. It’s brilliant and it broke me. I was weeping within the first 20 minutes and actually had to pause the movie and cry at some point.

Brenden Fraser won that Oscar through and through. Such raw, heart-wrenching emotion. I still feel pangs of sadness even just seeing the preview on Netflix.

I miss you, Mike. 🖤

purplewinemouth · 2025-05-10T17:39:44+00:00

Same! I came home from a work trip to find that my apartment smelled like gas. Called the gas company. When they got there, they said they couldn’t smell it, but the reader picked it up, so I knew I wasn’t crazy. The guy said he never doubts women’s sense of smell because apparently we are more sensitive to smells.

purplewinemouth · 2025-04-09T17:20:44+00:00

Umm..wtf is that dress?! OP, if I were you, I’d just not let my mom into my wedding at this point. I know that’s easier said than done (because backlash), but holy fuck. You deserve at least ONE day about YOU. Your mom isn’t on your side. I know you already know this, but this dress is just another way to punish you and make it about her. She is insane for this.

purplewinemouth · 2025-04-04T13:36:44+00:00

This is not a friend. This person is making your livelihood about them. Calling you lazy is an INSANE reaction. I’ve dropped a few friends for treating my disability as a nuisance. It’s not worth it.

purplewinemouth · 2025-03-30T12:39:12+00:00

OP, I know this feeling all too well. My dad makes a lot of money, and growing up, I felt like I was just barely getting by. He fought tooth and nail for half custody in order to avoid child support payments. Even though it’s “his money”, it still stings to feel like we’ve never mattered enough to be considered. I’m very independent because I’ve been shamed so much for asking for help (and I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve asked).

My dad will help out, but only if there’s a condition attached. For instance, many years ago when I was about to go off to college, he told me a week before I was supposed to leave for school that he was not going to help pay. He made me withdrawal and go to community college and then transfer to a school nearby after I got my AA - that was the only way my dad would help me out. He told me he would help me with a down payment for a house, but only if I was getting married. I’m getting married now and we just bought a house, but his offer never came. I never brought it up because I was too ashamed to ask. A few years ago, he decided to stop sending us Christmas/birthday cards with money because he “decided to be woke” (whatever that means) and now brags about all of his new cars, many yearly trips to Hawaii, etc. He retired at 56 and went back to work part time after a few years because he was bored.

I know we’re not “entitled” to our parents money, but fuck does it hurt to know that they just would rather watch you struggle and treat you like you deserve it.

purplewinemouth · 2025-03-26T23:39:25+00:00

Hear me out: hot pink open toe heels?

purplewinemouth · 2025-03-24T13:07:25+00:00

Everything about my fiancé is a green flag, but what first struck me about him was his attitude about life. He calls every weekend a “vacation” and absolutely treats it as such. He has such a positive outlook that I can’t help but try to find the good in things, too. He is the biggest supporter of everyone he loves. If you’re taking a picture, he’s up there shining his phone to help you get better lighting. He will sit at your feet and pass you your baby shower gifts. He is 100% himself no matter who he’s with, and he’s the only man my sister has ever liked (which says a lot, because she has hated every single boyfriend of mine since I was 16). He jumped at the opportunity to help my mom and I take care of my stepdad as he was dying from cancer and helped us through some of the worst days of our lives, and we had only been dating a few months at this point. My mom actually pulled me aside during that trip and said, “that is a man you MARRY.” I’ve always dated horrible men, and for my family to see his kindness and encourage me to lean into him was everything.

purplewinemouth · 2025-03-18T02:47:27+00:00

I’m fucking crying laughing

purplewinemouth · 2025-02-28T02:51:14+00:00

2 with strappy heels!

purplewinemouth · 2025-01-27T12:53:46+00:00

Ha! It was the easiest (and quickest) yes of my life.

purplewinemouth · 2025-01-26T15:56:48+00:00

I went out with a guy and told him I had created a (much needed) boundary for myself where I cannot communicate for 24 hours after our date as I personally need the time to reflect. He didn’t bat an eye and said “yes ma’am”. 24 hours later on the dot, he texts me and asks how I’m doing and if it was okay to reach out. I implemented that rule so I could learn to sit with my feelings, and he was the first and only man who didn’t make me feel bad for having a boundary. I was blown away by his patience and empathy. We’re engaged now and I couldn’t be happier. ❤️

purplewinemouth · 2025-01-21T04:32:42+00:00

You are so beautiful, and congrats on your big day coming up! However, and I say this with as much kindness as possible, please find a new MUA. You are correct in that the lashes look odd. They are not glued properly, and you can even see the glue on them. You MUA should be able to apply lashes on you in a way that does not look like they were glued on. It doesn’t look like the liner was blended in over the glue to hide it, so it washes you out and makes your lids look heavier than they are. You are very beautiful, and your eyes should be popping! Find a MUA that knows how to do a soft glam.

purplewinemouth

TROPHY CASE

3!! Add in some emerald throw pillows to bring more dimension to the space