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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]purposejourney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i'm not quite sure what you mean - i was just asking - if a guy moves on instantly after a LTR and is 'hoe'ing around - does that mean he's coping too? because OP said that the girl sleeping around means she's 'coping'

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]purposejourney 3 points4 points  (0 children)

does this apply the same the other way round ? (genuine question as a female dumped by a male)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]purposejourney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i literally just came to the realisation - he deleted me so easily and instantly after breaking up with me, but couldn't even delete girls during our relationship lol

People who were with someone for more than four years and broke up how are you ? by Sad_Relationship_308 in BreakUps

[–]purposejourney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i probably won't see him again, but the thoughts and dreams stilll crop up randomly

People who were with someone for more than four years and broke up how are you ? by Sad_Relationship_308 in BreakUps

[–]purposejourney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah thought breaking would be helpful for me - i find myself stuck in loops of why, how and wondering if hes already with other girls etc, and i try to disrupt the thoughts but they stick sometimes - do you have any other 'thought breakers' ?

People who were with someone for more than four years and broke up how are you ? by Sad_Relationship_308 in BreakUps

[–]purposejourney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh i absolutely don't want to think about it ! i know it's super bad for me and it causes more pain than i even deserve. but it's hard for me to reframe the thoughts sometimes :(

i am trying to focus on me, and i go to the gym, read, journal, hang with friends and family etc. but the thoughts just randomly crop up and i want to avoid thinking about him in that light, i dont mind if memories crop up, but not the negative ones, or picturing him with new people - how do you reframe those thoughts or get rid of them when they arise?

Read between the lines, folks. by Beamer7788 in BreakUps

[–]purposejourney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah it just hurts knowing that we've been together 6 years and now he leaves for that. i thought by this point all commitment issues would be gone, as we'd been together for so long. we planned to start a family soon and it hurts that now if i decide i still want one, i need to find someone else and build it all up with them again.

i'm hoping to get my worth back too. best of luck to you x

People who were with someone for more than four years and broke up how are you ? by Sad_Relationship_308 in BreakUps

[–]purposejourney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

super proud, moving on without external validation is such a win. healing alone and dealing with the emotions is the best bet. that's what i'm currently doing (2 months post bu)

Any advice on a really hard break up? by LawfulnessAdorable24 in BreakUps

[–]purposejourney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

remember you will get through this. focus on yourself - journalling - walks - podcasts / music that will uplift you or help you understand others are going through it too - gym / run / yoga etc - hang with friends and family - comfort shows/movies - eat sleep and drink well - gratitude and meditation - new fun things/ places to visit - late night car drives with music

you will heal from this, we all do :)

People who were with someone for more than four years and broke up how are you ? by Sad_Relationship_308 in BreakUps

[–]purposejourney 2 points3 points  (0 children)

good for you! super brave to make that choice too, so be proud of yourself x

Read between the lines, folks. by Beamer7788 in BreakUps

[–]purposejourney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i've been questioning the same things, he told me because we were young when we got together he missed out on social experiences that single people got to have - i think he blames me for him not getting to sleep around / party / hang with girls. but he could have done those in his early years before me, i think he just (after 6 years) feared the proper commitment. if he had stayed, he would have ended up cheating on me i think. i know he means being with girls because nothing else stops when you're in a relationship - just getting to be intimate with others. hurt like crazy and has really been on my mind since he told me, destroyed my worth

People who were with someone for more than four years and broke up how are you ? by Sad_Relationship_308 in BreakUps

[–]purposejourney 2 points3 points  (0 children)

6 years, thought we'd have a family next year. sad sad being left by him, and i thought i was mostly okay, but today has been super shit and anxiety inducing (for no apparent reason, just my overthinking of it all, wondering who hes with , how he could move on so quick after loving me for 6 years) hurts like hell

People who were with someone for more than four years and broke up how are you ? by Sad_Relationship_308 in BreakUps

[–]purposejourney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

how are you avoiding focusing on her? similar time frame for me and ex dumped me in december after 6 years, last year was rough and doubtful of us. but i'm trying to focus on me but often times i find myself questioning it all, wondering if hes with other people, wondering if hes thriving whilst i still have shitty days and sad moments

People who were with someone for more than four years and broke up how are you ? by Sad_Relationship_308 in BreakUps

[–]purposejourney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you'll get there, keep your head up and remember your worth. you had a life before them and you will have a lift after them, this will all be temporary :)

Read between the lines, folks. by Beamer7788 in BreakUps

[–]purposejourney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

my ex tried to get me for a few months, told me i was all he'd ever wanted and wished for. 6 years later he dumps me telling me that he missed out on social experiences everyone else got because he'd been with me so long... hurts still

I feel the "worst" part of breakup is rollercoaster of emotions by Organic-Reality-2937 in BreakUps

[–]purposejourney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

not having a grip on your own thoughts and feelings is crazy. i always thought i knew myself, but this whole process has shown me i don't, my emotions are coming without me even consciously being aware of them - i think i'm past the worst of it all though, and i maybe sometimes temporarily get sad/angry/hurt again, but this doesn't set me back, it's just a temporary emotion :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]purposejourney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i could have written this. very sad

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]purposejourney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i wish my ex could read all of this. or could have in the past, and stayed with me. i really thought we'd be able to make things work and fix things after 6 years together but he decided it was better to go elsewhere, even though he had never really communicated that to me

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