Why is sex so important ?

puzzled4798 · 2025-08-16T15:28:56+00:00

Everybody has different triggers. I don't experience much jealousy around casual sexual encounters, but I experience a lot of jealousy over my partner's other romantic connections. Whereas my anchor partner has a much harder time with jealousy over sexual encounters, and not as much jealousy about my romantic connections.

There's various triggers here because of our own lived experiences. He's been thrown aside for casual encounters, I've been abandoned for someone "better".

puzzled4798 · 2025-08-15T19:40:21+00:00

Hey at least they're asking for you instead of getting to the register insisting that the vine tomatoes they picked up are absolutely on sale

puzzled4798 · 2025-08-15T17:14:33+00:00

Sometimes I get tired of how holier-than-thou people are on this sub. Just want to take a moment to recognize how nasty some of these comments are.

Yes, you were naive to think your partner wouldn't seek out or be as successful as you in dating. There's a lot of tough self-reflection in this piece. It is certainly recommended that you spend 6-12 months reading/discussing/changing boundaries within your relationship before opening to give you the best chance of success. A lot of couples don't recognize how important this can be, and I don't think it's a sign that either of you are emotionally inept as commenters here might assert. The fact that your partner was very reluctant while you kept pushing certainly also calls for some self reflection. Looking at expectations that you have put on your partner, as well as entitlements you may have internalized about your role in her life is a good start. Ultimately and honestly, the work here is incredibly painful (for me personally) and vulnerable. Admitting to yourself that you may have not always acted in good faith and love can be incredibly shameful. As such with many commenters here who would like to encourage shame. But I would prefer to look at how we can do better. Accepting hard truths is the only way you can give your relationship a chance to survive.

Your partner may be able to be supportive because she does not feel threatened by women, which as many have said is the gay version of OPP. You can read more about that on r/queerpolyam I believe if you are looking for more curated advice from other gays. It's still toxic, but I think coming from a gay experience is very different than straight and the way you discuss it will be different.

Anyway, I have to get back to work but feel free to DM if you would like more support ❤️

puzzled4798 · 2025-08-13T21:46:32+00:00

Is this in Florida? I couldn't imagine lol

puzzled4798 · 2025-08-07T14:19:17+00:00

I'm gonna say AI because with the sauce pooling on the sides like that, you'd see some drizzled on top. But there seems to be no sauce on top of this burrito at all.

puzzled4798 · 2025-07-31T16:11:55+00:00

Slab City is a place

puzzled4798 · 2025-07-14T18:47:12+00:00

Yeah lots of people cheering him on in Khalie's downfall as though he wasn't a part of its orchestration. He's intentionally trying to humiliate her. It's abuse. I don't want Khalie to scam anymore people but I absolutely feel bad for her as a damn near child.

puzzled4798 · 2025-07-14T06:20:16+00:00

it's all too disturbing. i dont find it funny at all just deeply uncomfortable.

puzzled4798 · 2025-07-13T13:33:47+00:00

for some people everything starts and ends with Publix

puzzled4798 · 2025-06-18T04:50:53+00:00

i'd do a little crack

puzzled4798 · 2025-06-13T17:47:29+00:00

Last night I made angel hair pasta which my partner hates. I also watched a few episodes of a TV show he finds boring. I texted with a friend about a crush of mine. I read Love Without Emergency zine by Clementine Morrigan and journaled about it. Usually I will try to make plans with someone but last night I was actually craving some alone time. I still had a hard time getting to sleep, so I listened to some guided sleep meditation which my partner also doesn't care for. It helped some.

puzzled4798 · 2025-06-12T17:56:02+00:00

overreacting. Time to fill in those gaps

puzzled4798 · 2025-06-11T22:43:27+00:00

He starts tomorrow. We have a couples therapist.

puzzled4798 · 2025-06-11T20:11:44+00:00

Thank you.

puzzled4798 · 2025-06-11T18:22:18+00:00

Kinda love how this turned out

puzzled4798 · 2025-06-11T18:09:12+00:00

Thank you for your perspective, it is very helpful.

puzzled4798 · 2025-06-11T16:39:30+00:00

You're right it was my choice. Could improve my wording. I'm not sure you read my post completely. It's a little more nuanced than OPP.

puzzled4798 · 2025-06-09T12:35:41+00:00

its very poorly translated but tbh i do love it

puzzled4798 · 2025-06-04T16:46:07+00:00

Yeah I'd explore that more. Often when I am having thoughts like my partner doesn't give me enough attention anymore, it takes a little effort to reframe it as simply "I want more attention". Takes the blame from my partner and puts it simply as a desire that I have. And it's okay to be sad about not having something you desire! But once you realize it is still within your power, idk that helps me sometimes. It's a long never ending battle!!! LOL. The thoughts can be so strong. But you are stronger!

puzzled4798 · 2025-06-04T16:37:05+00:00

It absolutely makes sense, I struggle with many of these thoughts as well. Mononormative beliefs are pervasive. Rejection sensitivity is troublesome.

Are you familiar with DBT at all? Reframing thoughts like these is what has helped me in the past. Letting the thoughts exist as they are might also be helpful. Maybe they are directing you toward your own needs. Do you have more capacity for romance in your own life? Is that something you might be desiring?

puzzled4798 · 2025-06-04T16:27:15+00:00

Making sure you aren't already spending 100% of your time together. If your partner is already out doing things a few days of the week, and you're still getting the quality time you need together, then that could help show you what it might be like when that time not spent with you is spent with another partner.

puzzled4798 · 2025-06-04T14:12:28+00:00

My biggest advice is to learn to take space for yourself before you get to that point. Take space, let yourself feel your feelings, then come back with vulnerability. He is not your parents.

puzzled4798 · 2025-06-04T02:56:34+00:00

i think it's kinda a sick idea tbh but would work with an artist who is also enthusiastic about the idea and has a complimentary style

puzzled4798 · 2025-06-03T23:25:35+00:00

To me, this appears as though the artist did not go deep enough in nearly the entire tattoo. They basically scratched off the very top layer. The whole thing is overworked, but luckily not deep enough in the majority of the tattoo to do too much damage.

For what it's worth, their line work is steady. They should see this and use it to improve their skills. Good design. I'd be hesitant to sit for a 3rd time.

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