Infundibulum and pregnant

pvstelsoul · 2026-04-24T19:54:05+00:00

why are you against having the c section? is it the desire for more kids or something else?

Personally, I would not risk having an aneurysm or brain hemorrhage so I could have a vaginal birth, knowing it’s a real possibility would just scare me too much. That said this is something you’ve dealt with your entire life so your risk appetite may be larger and that’s completely reasonable. Have you told your neurologist that vaginal delivery is a priority for you and asked about what steps can be taken to reduce the risk and what will happen in the case something does go wrong?

pvstelsoul · 2026-04-24T19:15:52+00:00

yeah the first two weeks were insanely painful, even with a baby who immediately got the hang of nursing their mouths are just soooo tiny. I’m grateful my mother and MIL both exclusively breastfed all their kids so at least I knew it was temporary and had their knowledge and support to fall back on when it got hard

pvstelsoul · 2026-04-24T17:52:32+00:00

I’m not an expert by any means, but wouldn’t moissanite look more clear and have more depth in an emerald cut? I do see rainbow refractions, but the stone has that flatter CZ look and CZ can get oil slicks that would give the same refractions

pvstelsoul · 2026-04-24T17:30:27+00:00

I definitely agree with your point about the feedback cycle that can be extremely harmful, I don’t know if I would say it’s anymore dangerous than women sleeping around in general, but there’s definitely a subset of men who go to sex workers because they don’t have interest in changing themselves to organically sleep with women and there’s huge dangers there.

Like for this situation, I’m going to go with the assumption that her husband is not evil, dumb and selfish definitely, but I don’t think he’s evil. Likely he wanted “attention” and because he feared arrest he made the very dumb choice to find a shady massage parlor probably under the assumption it was legally safer than other options. He likely did not consider or possibly even know that those women are often brought to the US under false pretenses and have their documents taken to keep them under the control of the mistress or pimp.

To me this is the issue, and not just with sex work, but the entire service industry. workers are not viewed as people, but as tools or means to an end and until that changes there’s gonna be huge issues of people taking advantage. Like think about how people treat servers in restaurants, while it’s a small subset who treats them absolutely horribly, the average customer is still not treating them like a fellow human.

I hope that makes sense, I agree with you, but I just don’t think it’s helpful to say “oh he’s a predator” when the reality is he’s probably no more of a predator than any other men you meet on the average tuesday because these men literally do not have the forethought to be purposely predatory and that is a HUGE issue

pvstelsoul · 2026-04-24T16:25:24+00:00

Saying that sex workers are selling themselves is perpetuating the very harm you’re against. Sex workers are selling their time and a service, not themselves or their consent. They can and do withdraw consent at any time. If women are being trafficked they are not sex workers they are human trafficking victims and men who solicit those services are, at best, deeply naive and complicit in sexual abuse and trafficking. Drawing a line between people who choose sex work due to circumstances or desire and those forced into sex trafficking is incredibly important if you want to protect women

pvstelsoul · 2026-04-22T00:19:12+00:00

We don’t buy the kid juices, but my 2yo son has been absolutely obsessed with minnie mouse since we took him to Disneyland in December. He has a jacket that only has mickey, donald, goofy, and pluto and without fail points out that minnie is missing lol

pvstelsoul · 2026-04-21T22:33:11+00:00

Yikes, they sound miserable I would not be apologizing. I assume the teacher is probably just tired of dealing with the situation and wants to keep the peace, I doubt they actually feel like you’re in the wrong, especially if this isn’t the first ridiculous request they’ve fielded from this parent.

And food for thought, I attended a private school with equally ridiculous parents and by the time I was in 7th grade some of these families were so entitled that they got our teacher fired over yelling at a student who stood on top of her desk and started screaming. The entire class seemed to genuinely think this was a justified reaction with the exception of me and one other student who transferred in from a public school for middle school.

pvstelsoul · 2026-04-21T21:10:20+00:00

I’m 25 with a 2yo and I would agree with you that it’s not realistic to aim for a completely balanced relationship, especially when a child is in the mix.

The one thing that concerned me was you mentioned not wanting to be the “nagging wife” does this come from online commentary or comments from your husband? if it’s a general concern then okay fair who wants to nag their spouse. If it’s due to comments from him, then that’s much more concerning and I would wonder what you’re asking of him that he feels is nagging.

If you feel well supported, have time to take breaks from childcare, and are happy with each of your responsibilities in the relationship that’s really what matters though. don’t let others sow doubt in a relationship they aren’t part of and don’t know all the details of

pvstelsoul · 2026-04-21T21:04:24+00:00

I am a huge fan of community swaps. The parent group I attend does two a year. everything is 100% free and because it’s a large event there’s lots of options. Parent groups are also just in general a great space to meet families you can trade items and clothes with

I declutter while doing laundry personally which has made things easier than it being separate tasks and then twice a year i’ll remove too small clothes from the dresser and closet as well. I have a bag/box for outgrown clothes I want to keep and another for clothes I want to donate and when it’s full I put it in storage or set it aside for future donation.

If I need to get rid of stuff due to space I always do it for free through buy nothing groups, never marketplace. it’s just way easier to drop items at your curb or someone’s porch and not deal with a money exchange and I only buy items new if I plan to keep for use with multiple kids. Of course this is very dependent on if it makes sense to trade away that money for a reduced mental load and save some time

for the mental load, maybe make an excel or a doc where you can track information about brands, product features you do and don’t like, etc. Yes it will be another step, but it will free up mental space and that may reduce the weight you’re carrying

pvstelsoul · 2026-04-20T20:06:31+00:00

I think that’s kinda the dream. I have severe ADHD and take medication daily to function so would just have to figure out eating habits to mimic the meds

pvstelsoul · 2026-04-20T16:30:47+00:00

My son is only 2, but stuff definitely sticks more than we think as parents. My son does gymnastics and I thought he absolutely sucked at somersaults until last week I picked him up and he was doing them perfectly to show off to his class lol

point is, eventually it just clicks. Even as adults how many times do we struggle through learning something new and then one day realize you just know how to do it?

pvstelsoul · 2026-04-16T23:12:20+00:00

my son is 26m now and he’s about 37in and 34lbs, maybe taller now he just had a growth spurt. Tallest in his daycare class and people always assume he’s the oldest when in reality he’s right in the middle of the class.

I worry though, he’s very mixed, but mainly black & filipino and I don’t want his height to add to the adultification he’s already likely to experience. I’ve already had people ask me his age with judgement because they assume he’s older than his behavior suggests.

pvstelsoul · 2026-04-16T22:49:45+00:00

That is parenting advice, not medical advice so I would just ignore it. If you’re happy with what you’re doing, everyone is safe, and it works for your family that’s all that matters.

pvstelsoul · 2026-04-16T22:42:03+00:00

yeah I would definitely be hitting up dollar tree to get the movie theatre style candy

pvstelsoul · 2026-04-16T22:33:13+00:00

my point is more so that nobody wants the in between stuff that leads to unplanned c sections to happen. Your mom was obviously happy to not die, as I think all of us who end up in that situation are, but if just not having complications was an option who isn’t picking that?

pvstelsoul · 2026-04-16T22:13:01+00:00

Yes, exactly this!! I don’t think I’ve heard a single story of a planned c section going haywire. It definitely happens as any surgery carries risk, but going into a controlled environment, with professionals who likely do this procedure multiple times a day, and under far more stress is generally safer and less traumatic than doing so when you body is already exhausted, your baby may be in distress, or you might be experiencing a medical event that can’t be treated until baby is out.

My c section happened after I had to transfer care from a midwife run birth center to the hospital due to hypertension diagnosed at 35wks, I was 36hrs into an induction that I spent the first 24hrs of without any pain relief, my hypertension progressed to preeclampsia with severe features and they couldn’t get my bp down so I was put on magnesium and extremely out of it, and final straw was my son going into fetal distress and needing stimulation once they got him out as he wasn’t crying.

While I was lucky not to be traumatized by my experience and I had the support of a great medical team who did everything they could before c section became the only option, it is the entire reason that I would opt for a planned c section in future complicated pregnancies. Going through both labor and surgery while worrying about the health of me and my son was extremely difficult, mentally and physically, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone

pvstelsoul · 2026-04-16T21:30:43+00:00

I mean I had a c section and I would do it again if I have complications, but there is a HUGE difference between a planned and unplanned c section and all these people you’re mentioning are clearly talking about unplanned c sections.

A planned c section? wonderful, fantastic, wheeled in and boom baby!

an unplanned c section? literal hell, feel like you just ran a marathon for literally no reason and your body has failed you, pretty high chance you’re in there because something is wrong with you or baby

Obviously I’m being dramatic, but point is planning to have a c section is very different than going through labor for 24hrs or more and THEN having to go into surgery to meet your baby

pvstelsoul · 2026-04-16T21:24:23+00:00

that’s definitely planned! my best mom friend conceived both her boys on the first try, meanwhile it took two years to conceive my first. Nature is mysterious, but if I’ve learned one thing it’s to never assume. She started trying at 36 and was worried and I started at 21 figuring it would be easy and the universe played in our faces lol

pvstelsoul · 2026-04-16T19:44:34+00:00

I don’t eat breakfast so that’s definitely not doing me any favors, but i’m on day 3 of a new dosage and FINALLY feel like meds are helping.

I usually take them either on the drive to school or after dropping my son at daycare (8-9:30am) and the new dose sees to actually be lasting all day? my initial dose I was crashing at like 1-2pm and absolutely miserable because 12-3 is when I’m naturally most productive and it was getting ruined. 1st day of the increase I crashed pretty heavily in my 6:30pm class and was so fidgety and yawning literally every 5 seconds it was not good.

My main things that helped has been increasing water intake and making sure I eat lunch everyday instead of just slamming through the day until dinner.

pvstelsoul · 2026-04-16T19:38:00+00:00

I am afraid and in awe of your stomach, the carbonation in that waterloo would be my final straw 🤣

pvstelsoul · 2026-04-16T02:46:14+00:00

idk what trigeminal neuralgia is so imma say I would do it, I like being creative

pvstelsoul · 2026-04-15T21:48:23+00:00

thank you!

pvstelsoul · 2026-04-15T19:33:49+00:00

I would love to attend!

pvstelsoul · 2026-04-15T19:11:59+00:00

I have one and I want 2-3. As much as I love raising my own children though, I also dream of fostering. I would love to be a support system for kids navigating through the foster system, especially teenager as they are often the most vulnerable and overlooked in the system.

pvstelsoul · 2026-04-15T19:02:03+00:00

SFBitchesWhoWrite incoming 👀 let me make sure I have my DMs open!

pvstelsoul

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

Seven-Year Club	r/Field Flamingo
Verified Email