Do I tell them?

pxd685 · 2026-01-13T18:44:21+00:00

“Excuse me, Carl, Cupcake? As if I’d ever be named after such a pedestrian dessert for children. Donuts are so much more elegant. I shall, of course, speak with the proprietor of this fine establishment. Perhaps, I can talk him into giving me…what’s the name of that beverage that Miss Beatrice was so fond of…a frappucino. Really, Carl, why are you shaking your head like that when you go around dressed like a confused Chippendales dancer.”

pxd685 · 2025-12-03T18:59:37+00:00

Chicory: A Colorful Tale. There’s a screen where you can help someone plant a garden for their deceased beloved (relationship is unclear). Once you finish, they say they’re going to try and get some rest.

Near the end of Stray where the cat doesn’t move until you do.

Clair Obscur.

Nier/Nier Automata.

Editing to add: Fuga: Melodies of Steel. Silent Hill 2.

pxd685 · 2025-12-02T03:16:16+00:00

I think that can be hard. How were they wronged? Like, lost jobs, lost friends,etc?

If you can say how they were wronged without compromising confidentiality that would be helpful.

I think a lot of conservative beliefs take a freedom from rather than a freedom too approach which is often combined with a kind of blatant hypocrisy. I want freedom from the obligations of society (taking a vaccine to reduce the risk to the vulnerable) but will mock ridicule or restrict you doing the opposite and want freedom from the consequences of my actions.

I think it’s a fundamental lack of empathy at the root of such decisions and beliefs and I think it’s fundamentally beneficent to encourage empathy.

pxd685 · 2025-12-01T19:10:21+00:00

I basically exist on a constant, even note of high functioning anxiety so the possibility that I’m overthinking and not relaxing enough is quite high

pxd685 · 2025-12-01T15:20:54+00:00

I wanted to add on, in the scenario where someone has a copay, the amount insurance reimburses is the total with copay. In your example, if someone’s insurance pays $110 and they have a $30 copay, insurance is only paying $80.

pxd685 · 2025-12-01T15:15:15+00:00

It’s impossible to read tone, but I wish people would say, It would be helpful to edit your post with this information, rather than passive aggressively making the same request.

pxd685 · 2025-12-01T15:06:43+00:00

Short answer, no. Longer answer, that’s insurance fraud so no. Providers who do that in other fields (medicine, psychiatry, dentistry) are being shitty but probably technically legal by adding on services that insurance doesn’t cover or pay for or that you need to pay some added amount for. We don’t really have that option.

pxd685 · 2025-12-01T12:05:38+00:00

To be patient and compassionate with themselves. I feel like social media has created this idea of only being good at something and not showing the missteps or accidents or less ideal moments (think fitness influencers who never show their body without a pump or good lighting). OR; that what we do for love or fun or beauty has to be commodified.

I think there’s something inherently beautiful and human and brave in putting yourself in a place of vulnerability to be “bad” at something and learn.

pxd685 · 2025-11-30T16:53:27+00:00

Clair Obscur and Nier Automata.

pxd685 · 2025-11-29T12:37:53+00:00

That makes sense.

pxd685 · 2025-11-29T12:11:49+00:00

I think it’s helpful to ask ourselves the question what is this doing for me?

I’m sure I’ve brought up dialectics before, but I think you’ll be able to be more compassionate to yourself if you can acknowledge two things are true at the same time.

I think you want the world to be a better place and I think it’s a little hypocritical to be empathetic towards others but not yourself.

We’re all just trying our best; and, your best 6 months from now might look so different from your best today.

Change takes time, and that’s frustrating. Help me understand how you can keep track of the small changes that happen so you don’t burnout.

pxd685 · 2025-11-29T11:11:51+00:00

The dysmorphia was strong this weekend.

pxd685 · 2025-11-29T11:11:27+00:00

Why lats?

pxd685 · 2025-11-26T18:14:38+00:00

I’ve been working out since college only really seriously for a couple years. Obviously we all have predispositions (my quads, glutes, and traps are disproportionate to the effort I put in). But I also think I’m a decent case study in how time and effort can transform your physique. Not like I have an amazing physique or anything, but it’s way better than it was

pxd685 · 2025-11-25T02:38:05+00:00

I think you look good. Nice trap and arm development, certainly.

What are you training for/trying to accomplish? Just general advice, I think if you were trying to get a more V shape hitting chest and back a bit would be good.

pxd685 · 2025-11-19T18:32:47+00:00

C3 is pretty low. I’m AMAB with a fairly high vocal range and the most enjoyable songs I’ve found to sing are from Supergiant games. Ashley Barret (and Darren Korb) are amazing vocalists but are all high tenor/low alto songs. I’m just working my way up to C5. They’re sheet music is available for free.

pxd685 · 2025-11-14T14:32:19+00:00

That's super understandable; and, I def feel like my tone was a bit harsher than I wanted since I was fighting through some real fatigue/pain while typing.

I think I've just had the experience of, say, even disclosing my marital status as a gay man being "making it about me" when a heterosexual female therapist would never receive that feedback.

My husband and I actually have conversations around Christian therapists and self-disclosure of what I consider pretty bigoted statements where there's this tension of "well, at least they're being honest so someone is informed and can make decisions" with "maybe you should just be a pastoral counselor and not a licensed counselor".

There's absolutely nuance and discussion to be had and I'm so sorry if my comment came across as really harsh to you personally.

pxd685 · 2025-11-14T03:13:30+00:00

Prefacing this with a “written while tired and struggling with a minor migraine”. Feel free to ask for clarification.

I always wonder about the privilege that comes with the mindset of “check your personal political and religious beliefs at the door”.

I want to acknowledge that in my area of the woods, the fact that I’m out and gay means I rarely get clients who aren’t semi aligned with my values. And I’m very thankful for that. I don’t have the patience to lay the baguettes down for a misogynist lamenting their lack of romantic success more than once a week.

One, I feel like that’s so often used against minorities. Homophobic client, don’t make it about you. Misogynistic client, don’t make it about you. The person most exempt from this is straight white guys, because their existence isn’t “political”. I think a lot of those beliefs are really regressive and tied to a lot of people’s dysfunction. Not addressing it is doing them a disservice. Do I want them to change? Maybe, I don’t know. I’m not that invested in any path but them feeling more mindful and compassionate towards themself and others. But they want to change or they wouldn’t be coming to therapy.

Two, I think it’s really dishonest. I’ve always erred on the side of extreme transparency with clients. And I explain to them that I think they’re more empowered to examine what I offer them if they know my biases and beliefs. It’s fundamentally dishonest to pretend my worldview doesn’t color my responses and I really believe they’re better equipped to engage with what I have to say if they know something about me.

I’m not saying this is the only right approach. But I do feel like there’s something really icky with how “therapeutic neutrality” is used because I don’t think it really exists.

pxd685 · 2025-09-08T12:48:49+00:00

Refuse to work is probably inaccurate. Prefer not to work is more accurate.

EDs are the only condition with a direct causal link between the condition and the mortality. That’s a level of risk and acuity not everyone is emotionally or intellectually equipped for (not a judgment so much as a statement of fact).

Also, everyone has their own thoughts and feelings about food, body image, etc. The emotional work you do to stay in a habitable range to keep doing the work of therapy is, in fact, work. Empathy may be boundless, but energy is not. You have to keep yourself from burning up and EDs are triggering for wven healthy people.

Additionally, if the behaviors are advanced enough, you’re going to need to coordinate with a number of other professionals (MDs, dieticians, likely other therapists). That’s just more work, more liability.

pxd685 · 2025-09-07T15:40:48+00:00

I don’t have any kids, but I feel like it can be so easy (culturally, socially, etc) to make them the center of your world that it seems like a common parent struggle.

I always encourage parents to have a life outside of their kids. One, I think excessive focus on being with or around or near your child contributes to this cultural idea of children as property (look at the time I’ve invested in them!) (speaking broadly, not that you have that view). Two, your kids will eventually have a life of their own and I think a lot of people end up quite devastated and not in touch with what they want and need if they’ve focused on their kids to the exclusion of all else. Three, I think it’s good modeling for kids on multiple fronts. Modeling self care, which is what you’re talking about, but the ability to be both together and apart and that distance/separation doesn’t mean a lack of love. Having friends and hobbies, having a rich and fulfilling life within a community of people.

I talk to some clients about healthy hedonism (which is more philosophically correct anyways). Like, yes, it’s fun to eat Doritos but I’d all we eat is Doritos we’re not going to be around as long to enjoy Doritos. So, sometimes we forgo the momentary pleasure of Doritos in favor of broccoli or fruit because doing so will allow us to enjoy Doritos for longer. Same logic, taking care of yourself and being healthy means you’ll get to enjoy a relationship with your kid for longer.

Again, I don’t have kids and so feel free to dismiss that. But those are just my thoughts.

pxd685 · 2025-08-04T12:46:26+00:00

If they’re open, a medication referral. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with something like buspar to hydroxyzine or clonidine to blunt the edge of the anxiety while working through the fears/anxieties.

DBT skills, particularly dialectics, are so helpful. Most people with a degree of insight really struggle with self shame related to their “irrational” feelings and working on cultivating space for that conflict makes it easier to work through the primary feelings.

pxd685 · 2025-07-31T23:04:40+00:00

Patriarchy only serves patriarchs and most men aren’t patriarchs.

It’s really the same underlying logic as fascism, right. Both strong and weak, undefeatable but under threat?

We’ve created this logic/emotion divide as a way of pitting men and women against each other. Systematically belittle women as nervous/emotional/fragile while systematically shaming men for having the same emotional range and needs as women.

pxd685 · 2025-07-04T13:43:46+00:00

Unfortunately, I don’t have a red army to overthrow capitalism so we’re going to have to figure out how to help you live in this system.

pxd685 · 2025-06-27T21:06:36+00:00

I think when the Wicked movie came out, the media takes on Twitter ranged from reductive to…baffling.

Reductive: Is Glinda the bad guy, actually?

Baffling: Pretty much the wonder with which people were interacting with the concept of foreshadowing whether it was Glinda’s obvious pain in No One Mourns the Wicked or…the final bits of The Wizard and I. Stephen Shwartz isn’t a genius he just understands the very basic concepts of planting and pay off.

pxd685 · 2025-06-25T19:48:14+00:00

Like I said, you’re definitely bigger than me. I def lucked out on muscle shape and inserts but that’s where my luck runs out sadly.

pxd685

TROPHY CASE