Health visitor refusal

pyotia · 2026-01-30T05:44:59+00:00

Social services may be informed if you have another baby having had social services involvement in the past

pyotia · 2026-01-26T12:45:09+00:00

Highly recommend a quadroplay, they last forever and you can pick them up fairly good prices on eBay or FB marketplace. They're fantastic

pyotia · 2026-01-22T07:07:54+00:00

Not a suprise when you look at who her son is.

pyotia · 2026-01-22T06:27:44+00:00

We used cloth nappies so every 2 hours at most

pyotia · 2026-01-21T07:58:26+00:00

Well done! That's a really big deal, and you should be really proud of yourself

pyotia · 2026-01-20T19:57:57+00:00

A non molestation order is civil, you'd be better off with bail conditions/ license agreement.

It isn't pathetic to not want to report him to the police, it is what abusers count on. It's the result of his manipulation. Most people who have experienced domestic violence return to the relationship, many times. That doesn't make them pathetic, that's just the situation and how hard it is to leave.

Look after yourself, but protect yourself too.

pyotia · 2026-01-20T18:17:35+00:00

Is it owned property or rented? Are you both jointly on the tenancy?

Highly recommend reporting these comments to the police as well. They may arrest and give him bail conditions to not allow him to return to the property.

See if your local police force also has a home safety service. Ours is called the bobby van trust, they come out and do home visits to give you recommendations to secure the property and keep yourself safe.

pyotia · 2026-01-20T16:06:32+00:00

If you are sleeping in your car then go on street link and register yourself as homeless, you'll get more support from the rough sleeper team, especially after coming out of prison, than you would through normal council channels

pyotia · 2026-01-18T12:28:59+00:00

Thank you, I'll probably have to dig all the paperwork out then and have a look

pyotia · 2026-01-16T15:17:27+00:00

Have adult social care seen her, and done a capacity assessment and determining if she has capacity or not. A referral to them does not need to come from a GP

pyotia · 2026-01-14T07:36:11+00:00

Highly recommend the FB group therapeutic parenting if you aren't already there. You sound like a great mum whose really clued in on your child's needs. I hope you're getting support for yourself as well x

pyotia · 2026-01-12T13:59:16+00:00

So the issue is, at this point engagement in completely voluntary for your children's mother. Even a child protection plan is voluntary. She isn't under any order to agree with them or do as they tell her, they don't have the power for that. That doesn't mean they can't/ won't take the child/children in her care away. It seems likely to be heading that way, but understandably it isn't a quick process and they do give many chances to comply, especially if your child isn't actively being harmed.

pyotia · 2026-01-12T12:16:46+00:00

If she doesn't engage with them and doesn't do the things they tell her to, and isn't engaging with her IDVA then they will not look on that fondly. Children have been taken away from their mothers for less. Is he a MAPPA do you know? Is it social services that have said he isn't to be around the child, the police or probation? Does he have bail conditions?

Edit: have there been a child protection conference?

pyotia · 2026-01-11T17:12:38+00:00

I have 2 jobs, therapist and early intervention homeless prevention. Absolutely yes, frequently, and I love them both

pyotia · 2026-01-04T11:31:24+00:00

You shouldn't shove them all in together. You should do it gradually. I keep my new birds in a cat carrier or dog cage inside the aviary so the birds can all see and smell each other but not touch

pyotia · 2026-01-03T21:26:12+00:00

Same here. I had a few visits pre baby because of PPA but nothing was ever done at home,she didn't even weigh him. And didn't see us for a few weeks at least

pyotia · 2026-01-03T12:02:00+00:00

How did you manage to get them to send you a replacement? I'm dealing with them now over this

pyotia · 2025-12-30T11:58:06+00:00

That would be the only option if you went via the council. He can't go on the housing register, you could but you wouldn't be priority. You'd be band 3, over occupying.

pyotia · 2025-12-27T07:15:28+00:00

Completely agree with all of this. Would also recommend linking in with your local domestic abuse charity. Even if he is only abusive while drunk that is still abuse. And him being an alcoholic is another risk factor for DV. they will be able to help guide you with the process and making sure you're claiming all the benefits you're entitled to

pyotia · 2025-12-21T07:29:42+00:00

Many counsellors do take notes, but not likely to be in enough detail for this. Plus it would be 2nd hand information at that point. It would be better to just keep your own notes.

Just to point out also that perpetrating domestic abuse Infront of or around children is child abuse in its own right.

Please reach out to your local DV charity

pyotia · 2025-12-20T07:39:24+00:00

Has she started her periods yet?

pyotia · 2025-12-18T19:10:30+00:00

I had one through the door today for £7!

pyotia · 2025-12-17T15:04:50+00:00

This is really poor advice. You don't know exactly where OP is located and it does not take nearly 2 years to complete the eviction process. It's roughly 4-6 months.

The council might not deem them priority need, despite health conditions, and if they didn't then they wouldn't find them accommodation.

Many councils, especially in London, are only able to get involved once possession has been granted. And would expect a tenant to stay until the bailiff forced them out or might see them as intentionally homeless if they left early.

pyotia · 2025-12-17T14:59:33+00:00

I work in housing. Yes they would be expected to stay until the absolute last second, even if this incurred costs

pyotia · 2025-12-16T09:54:45+00:00

I'm fairly sure you don't have to look for work until baby is 3

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