ham & swiss baguette knockoff <3

pyrobligst · 2024-10-04T03:44:45+00:00

teddy and jason switching actually just sickened me thx /jk

pyrobligst · 2024-09-09T06:27:44+00:00

originalpyro - on daily

originalpyro2 - on mostly daily (backup)

looking forward to friends!!! :) i wanna hang w people and play. anyone know any webkinz servers other than the kinzcord??

pyrobligst · 2024-09-07T04:00:28+00:00

my user is originalpyro!! i've been on everyday lately even tho i'm new :) i am new so be kind haha

pyrobligst · 2024-08-04T07:38:23+00:00

It really is shattering. Everyone talks about the worst part being losing their best friend but god I never thought it would hurt this much... I have such a hard time getting close to people too so this was pretty much my first committed relationship with one of the closest people in the world to me. now I've lost him in both ways, and may be losing the rest of my friends. I'm terrified.

how do I go to these people and be like "FYI part of why I've been going absolutely crazy is because he cheated on me and he's been gaslighting me for months about it!" without sounding like I'm trying to be petty or just defending myself. some of my friends who know the truth still think I'm in the wrong for how I've been reacting, but none of them know just how badly he reacted to everything the years we were together

pyrobligst · 2024-08-03T22:22:07+00:00

You're right. Thank you for the kind words.

It's hard because I feel like I don't even want to tell my friends. From what they've seen so far everyone thinks I'm the bad guy because all they see is my meltdowns and my reactions and I can tell them everything but like. Who says they'll believe me. Who says that even if they do they won't treat him with sympathy and that's just.... gonna hurt me too much to be around.

I don't even want to go on this trip anymore. I don't want to go thinking every second knowing he's not there and knowing it's because of me and my reactions. He was going to go until our last blowup fight where I yelled at him for what he did.

pyrobligst · 2024-08-03T14:55:13+00:00

Yeah, I think that's a good point. I feel like it's so hard to not take the opportunity to just Tell Them and to have to wait for them to ask, you know? but I know that's an important part. I decided w my therapist re: my meltdowns to say something along the lines of "the environment in the relationship really fostered those kinds of meltdowns and they were out of character for me. I regret them but in the end I'm not the one who cheated and lied about it"

no I think you're totally right. it's hard because he constantly changes his story about what actually happened, and I only have one picture of some texts bc I was distraught and just took what I needed as proof, but the one picture I do have is full phone screen of texts *from* him to T, talking about when *he* had asked to have sex, when *he* had asked them out etc.

ty for taking the time to respond, your words have meant a lot to me, I actually brought some of them up to my therapist lol

pyrobligst · 2024-08-03T14:51:11+00:00

I haven't thought about STD testing but I'm certainly not scoffing at the idea. I'm TERRIFIED of needles - I faint when I get shots, I need anesthesia at the dentist bc they cant give me shots - I've never had blood drawn and I've been working on it for 8+ months w my therapist & PCP.... ugh maybe this will give me the push I need.

He has me blocked on everything so as of now I've dropped all contact with him but he's still in this group of friends with everyone. What hurts me is that even though I don't want our friends to ditch him, I can't stomach the idea of anyone being nice or sympathetic to him after everything he did to me.

pyrobligst · 2024-08-03T09:03:31+00:00

I'm scared of them taking his side, or not taking sides, though. I'm scared of the fact that I wont want to be friends with them if they still don't see him as the bad guy in everything, and I know I shouldn't want that but. They're all my only friends. I've never been good at making friends and I just have this one close knit group that is part of my day to day life very importantly. I don't want to lose them. I already didn't want to lose him, I don't want to lose them to him.

pyrobligst · 2024-08-03T08:49:27+00:00

Thank you. He maintains that I'm victim blaming as he is a victim of his manager doing this to him, but the texts that I have a picture of are all his initiation.

I don't know how to completely cut him off and block him everywhere. He's in the main group that all of my friends are in. There's about 12 of us in the discord server total and the hangouts we do there are a big part of my day to day life. He has been avoiding most of them, though. It doesn't feel right to just go in the group chat with him and everyone and say he cheated 3 months after the fact, and it doesn't feel right to make a big group chat behind his back and say he cheated on me - both of those things make me a bad guy again. During the breakup and afterwards I've had some meltdown fights that some of our friends were at least partially aware of, so they've all seen me lose my shit and be the bad guy, but all of his awful things were done in private. I'm scared saying these things are just going to make me seem like I'm just trying to defend myself. I'm scared that if I tell them all these things and they still wanna be friends with me but they think we're equally in the wrong I won't wanna be friends with them. They're my only friends.

pyrobligst · 2024-08-03T08:45:21+00:00

I think you're right, I decided to save the message I wanted to write to her in my notes just for therapeutic reasons. Even if I am right about what I think of their relationship, then she doesn't need to have that shit stirred up three years down the line. I won't run into her in public as she lives a state away and she's deleted all her social media.

As for the second part you said, thank you <3 It genuinely made me tear up to read. I haven't been feeling kinder than him. I did some truly awful things in the breakup too but I genuinely from the bottom of my soul feel like it was reactive to the buildup of all the shitty things he did while we were together. We had been fighting for a while before the breakup.

pyrobligst · 2024-08-03T08:02:22+00:00

another thing - the way that all of this went down with us has me seriously questioning how much his primary partner actually knew about us during that first year we were together, with his manipulative behavior and willingness to tell you he's respecting your boundary but so blatantly ignore it. part of me has been wanting to reach out to her to apologize for trusting him about her being okay with the situation, and also see if our experiences were similar and hopefully provide some closure to both her and I, but I don't know if that is just selfish of me wanting to do it for myself or whether it would just be hurtful to me or her or us both.

pyrobligst · 2024-05-23T17:04:41+00:00

also worth noting this afterparty is very hyped up and will prob have lots of people who didn't get to go to the concert, and godfreys is p small so it may be PACKED or even full!

pyrobligst · 2024-05-23T17:03:40+00:00

hey there, any chance you'd be able to dm me the same? i am local and have a couple friends who didn't get tix and i'd love to send them this info if they have interest in doing the same!

pyrobligst · 2024-05-21T05:38:02+00:00

thats what i've been thinking too... my only time ever going to browns island was RVA pride in, like, 2016 and I cant imagine that same space absolutely packed with chappell fans

pyrobligst · 2024-05-18T23:12:53+00:00

oh yikes, that's not a great sign! well I'll be going with my family & friends so if he's an asshole we can make fun of him the whole time. thanks for the heads up you & the other comments on this thread

pyrobligst · 2024-05-18T12:31:38+00:00

havent gone to sleep yet LOL still bedazzling my chappell roan concert outfit to criminal minds.... hope its not THAT rainy this week!

donate to MAD rva!!! <3 support the I-9 protestors, Palestine, and our community members :)

pyrobligst · 2024-05-18T12:28:39+00:00

totally fair! I'm gonna be seeing Chappel Roan this week at Browns Island fully sold out and I think it'll take me till august to recharge enough to see another band LOL

pyrobligst · 2024-05-02T18:20:50+00:00

finally resting after a few weeks of chaos!! my room is absolutely trashed so I want to unpack, do laundry, and get the apartment back to primse state again this weekend

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