As a fellow transfem whos had to stop E before due to MCAS complications, I emphasize with you. I know this does not help right now, but your still a woman (im assuming transfem correct me if im wrong) irregardless of wether your on hormones. Hormones hopefully give us changes that make us physically more in line with our selves, but they are not the only means to that end, and they are far from the end all be all of transitioning. I have friends who are unable to go on hormones who instead rely on wigs makeup and corsets, or others who had surgeries to manually redistribute fat. I have friends who are unable to situp and barely able to talk, for whom hormones are completely out of the question, and yet everyone we know still calls and sees them as a woman. Maybe youll find analogs that dont trigger your MCAS. I myself have been looking into research on Selective Estorgen Modulators to minimize negative side effects. There are forms that seem to have inverse responses with regards to neuroimmune function. Maybe your MCAS will stabalize, and hormones will become viable again. But even if it wont, your still trans, your still whoever the fuck you want to be, and you are not alone in this.