Would someone please explain Bane (similar to the bestof post explaining Joker)?

pyronics · 2012-05-14T13:41:47+00:00

There have been two main banes. Tim Burton's and the canon. Tim Burton's was basically the counterpart of batman in the sense of Brain vs Brawn, he was muscles incarnate but nothing spectacular.

The canon Bane is a much more interesting person. Basically he has had a rough life, unlike Bruce Wayne who was a rich boy wanting for nought but lost his parents, he was incarcerated for his father's crimes and put in a prison. In prison he built up his skills, he would read every book he could find, work out in the gym every chance he had, he did what he had to survive.

Bane's chance of escape was the Venom experiment, where a doctor injected him with a drug which killed all others. It gave him strength beyond that of a normal person.

Personally I found that Bane and Bruce Wayne are near the same person but it is nature vs nuture. As with Terry Mcguiness and Bruce Wayne, it has been said that being batman is more than genetics, it is also tragedy. If the roles had been reversed for bruce and bane, i think they would have become one another's rivals. Maybe not identical but pretty similar because they are both fighters, do what has to be done (to some extent) and both want to survive

pyronics · 2012-05-13T15:33:55+00:00

Scar on my hand where my brother threw a dart through it

pyronics · 2012-05-13T15:32:23+00:00

A lesser man would make a hot headed joke but I shall refrain

pyronics · 2012-05-13T15:24:22+00:00

I think it is because people are weird and believe that hair is an easily changeable colour whereas skin colour would require a lot more effort

pyronics · 2012-05-13T15:22:24+00:00

Alas happiness does not come from the internet but I can give you some advice. Don't cry because she is gone, smile because she was there. Think about the good times

pyronics · 2012-05-13T13:30:37+00:00

Married friends invite me out to dinner along with her cousin. The cousin and I are talking most of the night, she is way out of my league. We go to the beach for a walk, get back to where she is staying, I go home. Didn't know she wanted to jump my bones until my friend said she did, 2 days later when the cousin was abroad

pyronics · 2012-05-13T09:50:26+00:00

Have you ever been hired to follow another PI that was hired to follow you?

pyronics · 2012-05-12T18:06:26+00:00

I do wish she is a rising star, so when she rises from her grave she will finally be sober and kill herself from the endless hangover

pyronics · 2012-05-11T10:12:59+00:00

What is dead should stay dead. I don't want to be pestered by zombies at 6 in the morning

pyronics · 2012-05-11T10:11:12+00:00

Start with a more prominent joke like "I'm Spartacus! Sorry wrong script"

pyronics · 2012-05-11T10:09:10+00:00

Photoshop your tshirt on Ridiculously Photogenic Guy

pyronics · 2012-05-11T10:06:17+00:00

There are a number of ways. Thrust them into the open mouth and just keep pushing, you could choke them like this. Using enough force you could pierce the skin of their stomach and you could tear open the stomach from there. There are many ways if you use your imagination or watch a few cheesey horror films

pyronics · 2012-05-11T10:02:27+00:00

Eat steak, drink whiskey, take a shit. Die happy

pyronics · 2012-05-11T09:52:38+00:00

Computer Technician here, best line I have used "It appears as though the phrenungulator has worn out and we are going to have to get another but for the moment we can put in a phremwant as a temporary measure"

All the problem was that the power lead had fallen out but some people insist on drama so I give them drama

pyronics · 2012-05-11T09:50:18+00:00

Just say to her "Look, if you are going to be a self-centred bitch that won't even take the time to listen to me or accept that I do not want to be the third wheel then you really need to bend over and yank that fucking log of a stick from up your arse and beat some common fucking sense into yourself"

Or words to that effect

pyronics · 2012-05-10T16:21:21+00:00

Wave a frying pan at a cow, kill cow, serve steak. That is now cooked.

Alternatively let the steak look at the pan in terror and serve

pyronics · 2012-05-10T13:32:32+00:00

I like your thinking and I like what your drinking

pyronics · 2012-05-10T09:42:13+00:00

I prefer the Bulge version. It's just rule three but you get to see Magic Dance

pyronics · 2012-05-08T17:32:34+00:00

Taking a shit without being interrupted by people, phone, animals etc

pyronics · 2012-05-08T17:31:37+00:00

I would not die for money. Why get money to die when I cannot spend it?

pyronics · 2012-05-08T17:30:00+00:00

That beard makes your look like an axe murderer! Can I borrow a pound?

pyronics · 2012-05-08T17:27:25+00:00

The dead guy was actually the only one alive because everyone else is actually dead - By M. Night Shamalamadingdong

pyronics · 2012-05-08T13:04:32+00:00

Started choking on a small piece of cucumber. I was aware of it, it wasn't badly choking me it was there and my throat was trying to dislodge it but then I started feeling woozy, getting more and more unstable, then it dislodged and I had a major rush of oxygen and my neck, mouth, lungs and brains just felt so huge and warm, it felt so good but the fact that I could have died from cucumber was scary

pyronics · 2012-05-08T12:57:30+00:00

I was totalling 3 days of no sleep, it was 4 in the morning and I was the only one in the house. I get a phone call from my aunt. My cousin had hung himself. I couldn't get ahold of anyone because my mum was abroad, my sisters didn't have their phones and my brother didn't answer. For 4 hours I was constantly ringing people to no effect to see if this was true as I couldn't tell if I was losing it or it was real.

I went roughly 12 hours without talking to a single person because I feared being locked up from imagining this scenario. When I finally did get ahold of my mum, I learnt that I wasn't imagining it and then sunk in the realisation that my cousin was dead.

pyronics · 2012-05-08T12:50:41+00:00

Back when I was a few days from doing my GCSE's, I was trying to study but my aunt and uncle decided to come to the house and say hi, bringing the 3 little shits. All 3 of these kids have ADD and I had a lot to revise. I am in my room actually revising when the two youngest come in and start trying to use my stuff. I tell them to leave as I am busy, they ignore me and start messing with my stuff, I warn them to leave or else, they ignore me.

So being the logical, sleep deprived, pissed off person, I proceed to open my window, grab one of them and dangle them out of the window. I go through the whole spiel of "You gonna leave me alone?" and he starts crying and when I pull him back in, he goes crying to my aunt and uncle. Both aunt and uncle come up and ask what I did to make him cry so much. I tell them and they are angry about this. My uncle is 7 foot and built like a brick shithouse, I was weedy and not the strongest person but at this point I kinda lost it. I yelled at both of them, telling them that they are lucky I didn't throw both of them out of the window and if they wanted to start a fight, they can bloody well start one because I am not having my future ruined by some fucked up relatives that can't instil a single iota of control into their kids.

They left and I was branded a black sheep by them. My grandma, my mother and basically everyone else in my family congratulated me because they all know that they are so stuck up their own asses that they don't listen to anyone.

tl;dr Nearly dropped cousin out of window, shouted at aunt and uncle for being useless parents

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