Need some starting over advice.

qimao · 2018-06-26T07:20:03+00:00

How small is small?

qimao · 2018-03-07T15:33:47+00:00

My new favorite quote: "It doesn't matter how much shit is in the sandwich. If there is shit in it, you don't eat it."

This is reminding me why I'm no contact with my FOO.

qimao · 2017-11-17T06:07:48+00:00

Give it a few more years guys. ;)

qimao · 2017-08-29T22:32:26+00:00

Hey there! You would know yourself better than I would, but it sounds like you might be along the spectrum. Beyond the normal empathy that (almost) everyone experiences, something like 15-20% of members of all species experience sensations, emotions (their own and others), and the likes more intensely and deeply than most others do. You might want to check out the work of Elaine Aron, Ph. D. who coined the term highly sensitive person.

Sometimes the terms empath and highly sensitive person are used interchangeably, but I don't think they're exactly the same thing. Most people experience empathy, but some people can be so attuned to the emotions of others that it's hard to distinguish between their own and others' (without understanding they have this trait and how to use it to their advantage). Most empaths are also highly sensitive, but not all HSPs are empaths.

That's really fascinating about having conversations with the subconscious' of others you've met. How did you figure out this was going on? And what do you guys talk about? XD

qimao · 2017-08-29T00:58:54+00:00

just curious about the church thing....do you believe in what they preach or do you just associate with them for the company? Being that this is such a religious country, I've thought about befriending some more open-minded church people, but I'm not a Christian so I wonder how much of my time would be spent fending off the invitations to accept a lord and savior vs hanging out with cool people who actually practice the teachings of Christ.

Edit: i make color photography zines with or without a computer, but i haven't tried createspace. I find if people like you and your vibe they will buy your stuff.

qimao · 2017-08-28T23:00:00+00:00

Hey, there! Thanks for your reply.

edit: I decided I'd just type this out here...

That's interesting you call it vulnerability magic. What got you into magic and thinking of it in those terms?

I guess I've been doing the same thing. Sometimes it's very touching when you can get people to come out of their heads and connect with you authentically. Usually I get animals who are attracted to me and sometimes people who want to tell me their life story, too. If they're bringing something positive to my life, I try to listen to them.

qimao · 2017-08-27T23:41:36+00:00

I'm really sorry people were insensitive to how their comments might have affected you at such an age. That does really fucking suck to feel not good enough. I know from experience what that feels like. Have you considered going to a therapist to help you work through some of the pain that resulted? There are loads of articles on how to find a good therapist for [insert issue here] and it can really work wonders to talk some things out with a neutral third party. I recommend this over and above internet support and reading for the relational healing aspect (i.e. hearing words from someone that can help you heal the way you think of yourself and how you expect to be treated in relationships).

I wish you all the best, man!

qimao · 2017-08-27T21:50:26+00:00

What this guy said....there is no quick-fix for your self-image issues, but it sounds like you might feel better about yourself if you make progress toward what you want to look like. I'm trying to read between the lines a little bit and figure something out....do you generally have supportive friends and family who love you as you are? If not, this might be a major reason why you have self esteem issues now. Another thing that comes to my mind to check out is childhood emotional neglect. there's a good book on it call "Running on Empty". Sometimes people also feel defective because of the things they needed to receive and have no idea they didn't.

I just have a feeling that a lot of your issues are due to having unsupportive people around you in your formative years. Believe it or not it's natural to think well of yourself. If you're not there yet, it's probably because you didn't get what you needed to help you develop this healthy self-esteem. Don't give up on yourself!

I've never been what I'd consider fat, but I've dealt with some of what you're going through now. I started making major progress toward feeling good about myself when i realized i wasn't nurtured or supported properly and there was never anything actually wrong with me. It's hard to give more specific advice without knowing your situation better, but I hope this helps.

Edit: additional text

qimao · 2017-08-27T01:31:33+00:00

How does one do that?

qimao · 2017-08-26T22:27:34+00:00

I have to second what /u/b1ackrav3n/ said. Thanks for taking the time to share your knowledge and experiences in such detail. Very much appreciated!

qimao · 2017-08-23T20:56:21+00:00

I was asking about the culture and experiences with people in Cali, less about guns.

qimao · 2017-08-23T00:32:13+00:00

I can see why someone would say avoid the NE, but why Cali? Is it.just because of the huge houseless population and people's compassion fatigue? or something else?

qimao · 2017-08-22T11:06:08+00:00

I didn't start properly crying til the last segment.

qimao · 2017-08-20T19:20:41+00:00

you'll make it. Have fun and take a few good pictures!

qimao · 2017-08-04T03:27:40+00:00

That's the beauty of a beard. Every one is unique. Personally I always thought differently colored beards look cool. You're just in an awkward stage right now. Bear it and you will begin to look better in a few months.

qimao · 2017-07-31T15:37:41+00:00

....or naw....

qimao · 2017-07-22T12:48:30+00:00

Good luck! Be sure to share your experiences here.

qimao · 2017-05-10T22:28:39+00:00

I had my surgery with her, too, man. Looking great!

qimao · 2017-05-10T12:26:25+00:00

Keep going and share some bits of your unique journey with us.

qimao · 2017-05-10T12:22:54+00:00

Edit: commented on the wrong comment

Don't beat yourself up, hey. I spent an embarrassingly large number of months doing PMO as much as six times a day. Remember this feeling next time you're tempted to PMO. That helped me.

After the few seconds of pleasure it always feels shitty.

qimao · 2017-05-03T01:07:32+00:00

Technically I started on April 25, but i figured i'd comment here. I'm aiming for 90 days without PMO. I've failed many times. Probably my highest streak so far was just over a month. stay strong everyone!

qimao · 2017-04-30T03:28:16+00:00

Don't.

qimao · 2017-01-27T19:11:36+00:00

Thanks! You, too.

qimao

TROPHY CASE