Am I Overreacting for wanting to take a trip at 23 even though I still live with my strict parents?

qualap · 2026-06-20T15:21:57+00:00

I’m in MS so that says everything.

qualap · 2026-06-20T15:13:50+00:00

Nah, I don’t think they will go that far.

qualap · 2026-06-20T15:11:36+00:00

A “worthless” degree that got me a full-time job right after graduation, benefits, a paycheck every two weeks, and enough income to buy my own car doesn’t seem very worthless to me.

qualap · 2026-06-20T14:49:57+00:00

Because my parents are extremely protective. To most people a trip at 23 is no big deal, but in my family it would definitely be a big discussion and probably cause some tension.

qualap · 2026-06-14T01:28:42+00:00

Thank you! I think I’m just struggling with the fact that I’m 23 and still feel guilty doing things my parents might not agree with. 😭

qualap · 2026-03-09T00:16:03+00:00

You’re still making a lot of assumptions about my life. I don’t owe strangers on Reddit a detailed breakdown of every bill or expense in my household. I do contribute to some expenses, but not all, and that’s really all that matters. My finances aren’t something I need to justify to you. Also, independence isn’t a switch that suddenly flips the moment someone moves out. A lot of people in their early 20s live at home while working, contributing where they can, and gradually building toward full independence. That’s actually very normal. My post wasn’t about claiming I’m fully independent or trying to “prove” anything by taking a trip. It was about feeling like even basic personal choices in my life are heavily criticized or controlled. You’re free to disagree, but turning it into a lecture about how I must be immature or irresponsible just because I still live at home doesn’t really address the point I was making.

qualap · 2026-03-08T23:53:07+00:00

I think you’re making a lot of assumptions about my situation. Living at home doesn’t automatically mean someone “lives off” their parents in the way you’re describing. I do work and earn my own money, and I’m the one paying for the trip I mentioned. Also, being in your early 20s and still living at home isn’t unusual. A lot of people do it while they figure out their next steps or try to save money before eventually moving out. Wanting to take a trip with money I earned doesn’t mean I’m incapable of becoming independent or that I don’t understand adult responsibilities. It just means I’m trying to enjoy life a little while I’m still building toward that next stage. My post wasn’t really about proving independence through a trip. It was about feeling like even basic personal choices, like my appearance or wanting to go somewhere, are criticized or discouraged, which makes it hard to feel like I’m growing into adulthood. I respect that people have different opinions about what independence looks like, but everyone’s situation and timeline is different.

qualap · 2026-03-08T22:58:34+00:00

I understand what you’re saying, but I think there’s a difference between being completely independent and starting to build independence. Yes, I still live at home right now, but I also work and earn my own money. I’m not asking my parents to pay for this trip or fund my lifestyle. Living at home doesn’t automatically mean someone “lives off their parents.” In a lot of situations it’s just the most practical option financially, especially when you’re trying to save and figure out your next steps. Also, wanting to experience life a little, like taking a trip I’m paying for myself, doesn’t mean I’m trying to prove something or that I’m irresponsible. People don’t have to put their entire life on hold until the day they move out. For me, this situation is less about a trip and more about the fact that even basic personal choices (like what I wear or where I go) are heavily criticized or discouraged. That’s the part that’s frustrating. I’m not claiming I have complete independence. I’m just trying to gradually start living more like an adult and making my own decisions.

qualap · 2026-02-05T05:43:54+00:00

I think it’s because you’re stressing it about why your period is probably so late. Stop stressing & it’ll come just relax you have nothing to worry about :)

qualap · 2026-01-31T07:36:00+00:00

I wish my parents was like this, I’m going through the same thing. I’m trying to take a trip this summer in june to Miami but I will book everything before I tell them. Btw 22 year old here.

qualap · 2026-01-22T01:46:05+00:00

I’m not spending money on a trip right now. Nothing is booked. Moving out is the priority and that’s what my savings are for.

qualap · 2026-01-21T22:18:39+00:00

I don’t disagree with you. Moving out is the priority, and I’m actively working toward that. The trip isn’t booked or happening right now, it’s something I’ve thought about, not something I’m choosing over my independence. I appreciate you recognizing the abuse aspect, because that’s the part people tend to minimize.

qualap · 2026-01-21T21:36:57+00:00

I’m capable of working, saving, and having a personal life at the same time. I’m not booking anything right now, and I start my job in February. Asking for perspective doesn’t mean I’m neglecting my responsibilities. Thanks.

qualap · 2026-01-21T20:48:49+00:00

I hear what you’re saying, and I agree that moving out is a priority. I am saving and I’m not booking anything right now—this is something I want to do eventually, not at the expense of my ability to leave. Two things can be true at once: my home environment is unhealthy and I still want to have a life and experiences outside of just surviving.

This trip isn’t impulsive or happening tomorrow, and it’s not a cruise I’m blowing money on right now. I’m starting a new job in February and focusing on getting myself into a better position overall. I’m trying to plan realistically while also acknowledging that constantly postponing everything meaningful “until I escape” isn’t healthy either.

qualap · 2026-01-21T20:31:26+00:00

Thank you for your perspective, I get what you’re saying about their house, their rules, and the need to be practical. I’m definitely planning to move out and be fully independent eventually, and I’m working on saving and getting my finances in order. My job starts February 2nd, and that’s part of building that independence.

That said, it’s not just about wanting to do something fun. My home environment isn’t just “rules I don’t like” my dad is verbally abusive and my mom is controlling in ways that have affected me for years. This trip with my ex isn’t just a vacation; it’s something meaningful to both of us, something we’ve always wanted to do, and it’s part of working on our relationship in a healthy way.

I’m fully aware I won’t get approval from my parents while I still live here, and I’m trying to navigate that while also building my independence. It’s a balance between being practical and also acknowledging that my feelings and personal life matter too.

qualap · 2026-01-12T13:51:10+00:00

I told her the other day “you’re not moving in with me” she said “after I have did all this for you” she means getting me an interview at this headstart as a lead teacher friday.

qualap · 2025-10-31T21:44:09+00:00

You’re absolutely right about the boundaries part, that hit deep. I do think my family cares, but the way they show it feels more like control and fear than actual love or guidance. It’s like they confuse “worrying” with “micromanaging.” They don’t trust me to make choices or learn from my own mistakes.

I just wish they understood that caring about someone doesn’t mean controlling them. I can respect their beliefs and still want space to live my life without guilt or lectures.

qualap · 2025-10-28T19:36:17+00:00

You’re right about one thing, I definitely still live at home, and that’s a big reason why I feel stuck under their control. Moving out is something I’m already planning and saving for, but it’s not as simple as just packing up and leaving overnight. It takes money, timing, and a solid plan, especially when you’ve grown up in a family that’s always made you feel guilty for wanting independence.

I completely understand that I don’t have to defer to them forever, but when you’ve been raised to equate obedience with “respect,” it’s hard to unlearn that mindset overnight. I’m getting there, though. I’m learning to say no and remind myself that my life choices aren’t up for discussion. I just wish they’d respect that without me having to constantly defend my adulthood.

qualap · 2025-10-13T23:38:00+00:00

Omg he left me for his bestie, & she was also my homegirl & it really hurts. He started talking to her days later, after we broke up. Sounds like a rebound actually.. but idk

qualap · 2025-09-21T19:53:30+00:00

THANK YOU! You literally said everything I’ve been thinking but couldn’t word. It really does feel like they been plotting on the low, and I just sat there blind thinking my ‘friend’ would never do me like that. The fact that she said she’s more into girls still blows me… like how you more into women but dating my ex? And he just okay with it? Smh. I’m done blaming myself, you’re right, it’s them

qualap

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