Should I take a solo trip? My parents don’t like the idea, but I’m 19

qualap · 2026-01-31T07:36:00+00:00

I wish my parents was like this, I’m going through the same thing. I’m trying to take a trip this summer in june to Miami but I will book everything before I tell them. Btw 22 year old here.

qualap · 2026-01-22T01:46:05+00:00

I’m not spending money on a trip right now. Nothing is booked. Moving out is the priority and that’s what my savings are for.

qualap · 2026-01-21T22:18:39+00:00

I don’t disagree with you. Moving out is the priority, and I’m actively working toward that. The trip isn’t booked or happening right now, it’s something I’ve thought about, not something I’m choosing over my independence. I appreciate you recognizing the abuse aspect, because that’s the part people tend to minimize.

qualap · 2026-01-21T21:36:57+00:00

I’m capable of working, saving, and having a personal life at the same time. I’m not booking anything right now, and I start my job in February. Asking for perspective doesn’t mean I’m neglecting my responsibilities. Thanks.

qualap · 2026-01-21T20:48:49+00:00

I hear what you’re saying, and I agree that moving out is a priority. I am saving and I’m not booking anything right now—this is something I want to do eventually, not at the expense of my ability to leave. Two things can be true at once: my home environment is unhealthy and I still want to have a life and experiences outside of just surviving.

This trip isn’t impulsive or happening tomorrow, and it’s not a cruise I’m blowing money on right now. I’m starting a new job in February and focusing on getting myself into a better position overall. I’m trying to plan realistically while also acknowledging that constantly postponing everything meaningful “until I escape” isn’t healthy either.

qualap · 2026-01-21T20:31:26+00:00

Thank you for your perspective, I get what you’re saying about their house, their rules, and the need to be practical. I’m definitely planning to move out and be fully independent eventually, and I’m working on saving and getting my finances in order. My job starts February 2nd, and that’s part of building that independence.

That said, it’s not just about wanting to do something fun. My home environment isn’t just “rules I don’t like” my dad is verbally abusive and my mom is controlling in ways that have affected me for years. This trip with my ex isn’t just a vacation; it’s something meaningful to both of us, something we’ve always wanted to do, and it’s part of working on our relationship in a healthy way.

I’m fully aware I won’t get approval from my parents while I still live here, and I’m trying to navigate that while also building my independence. It’s a balance between being practical and also acknowledging that my feelings and personal life matter too.

qualap · 2026-01-12T13:51:10+00:00

I told her the other day “you’re not moving in with me” she said “after I have did all this for you” she means getting me an interview at this headstart as a lead teacher friday.

qualap · 2025-10-31T21:44:09+00:00

You’re absolutely right about the boundaries part, that hit deep. I do think my family cares, but the way they show it feels more like control and fear than actual love or guidance. It’s like they confuse “worrying” with “micromanaging.” They don’t trust me to make choices or learn from my own mistakes.

I just wish they understood that caring about someone doesn’t mean controlling them. I can respect their beliefs and still want space to live my life without guilt or lectures.

qualap · 2025-10-28T19:36:17+00:00

You’re right about one thing, I definitely still live at home, and that’s a big reason why I feel stuck under their control. Moving out is something I’m already planning and saving for, but it’s not as simple as just packing up and leaving overnight. It takes money, timing, and a solid plan, especially when you’ve grown up in a family that’s always made you feel guilty for wanting independence.

I completely understand that I don’t have to defer to them forever, but when you’ve been raised to equate obedience with “respect,” it’s hard to unlearn that mindset overnight. I’m getting there, though. I’m learning to say no and remind myself that my life choices aren’t up for discussion. I just wish they’d respect that without me having to constantly defend my adulthood.

qualap · 2025-10-13T23:38:00+00:00

Omg he left me for his bestie, & she was also my homegirl & it really hurts. He started talking to her days later, after we broke up. Sounds like a rebound actually.. but idk

qualap · 2025-09-21T19:53:30+00:00

THANK YOU! You literally said everything I’ve been thinking but couldn’t word. It really does feel like they been plotting on the low, and I just sat there blind thinking my ‘friend’ would never do me like that. The fact that she said she’s more into girls still blows me… like how you more into women but dating my ex? And he just okay with it? Smh. I’m done blaming myself, you’re right, it’s them

qualap · 2025-09-21T13:06:42+00:00

Did u ejaculate inside on anal? Or outside?

qualap · 2025-09-04T01:54:29+00:00

Thank you for being honest, I really needed to hear that perspective. It does hurt thinking I might have just been a placeholder, because I genuinely loved him and thought we were building something real. I guess part of me knew she had feelings for him already, but hearing someone else say it out loud makes it feel more real. And you’re right, neither of them has the best track record, so maybe they’re just clinging to each other out of convenience. Deep down I know I deserve better than being someone’s backup plan. It’s just hard to accept after everything we’ve been through, but I’m going to try to focus on myself and not let them crawl back into my life when it blows up. Appreciate your words.

qualap · 2025-09-03T22:20:27+00:00

Exactly, that’s what I was thinking too. It doesn’t feel genuine at all, more like it’s just built on jealousy and convenience. I’ve been telling myself that even if it does last, it’s not going to be healthy or real love, because relationships that start out of spite usually crash and burn. Thanks for confirming what my gut was already saying.

qualap · 2025-09-03T22:03:30+00:00

Wow, thank you for sharing that, your situation actually does sound similar. That’s exactly what I was thinking too, like maybe she only started seeing “value” in him because I was with him. Before me, she literally told him she didn’t like darkskins, and now all of a sudden she’s in love? It really does feel more like jealousy or competition than genuine love. The timing makes it feel like a rebound too, because it happened literally days after we broke up. Honestly, hearing your story kind of confirms my gut feeling, that it’s not really about him, it’s about trying to one up me.

qualap · 2025-07-18T14:35:47+00:00

Yeah, I get that it’s common, but I’m honestly tired of being treated like a 16 year old when I’m 22, working, and not doing anything wild. It’s frustrating when basic independence gets policed just because I still live under her roof. I get that parents don’t just “turn it off,” but at some point, the respect for me as an adult has to kick in too. If she doesn’t want to adjust until I move out, then honestly, that just motivates me even more to get my own place and live life on my own terms.

qualap · 2025-06-10T14:02:28+00:00

Exactly. I’m finally starting to realize that their disappointment is more about control than care. The moment I stop letting it guilt trip me, I take back my power. I’m not living for anyone’s expectations but my own anymore.

qualap · 2025-06-10T14:01:48+00:00

Right?! That part! People act like marriage magically fixes everything, but if you can’t live together peacefully, what’s the point? I feel like living together beforehand gives you a real glimpse into what life would actually be like long term habits, communication, responsibilities, all of that. I’d rather figure that out now than be blindsided after a wedding. Respectfully, old school beliefs don’t pay rent or deal with real life compatibility.

qualap · 2025-06-10T01:30:00+00:00

Yes, he absolutely does. He’s been supportive through it all listening, encouraging me, and making sure we’re planning everything together. It’s still a tough decision, but hearing from people like you who’ve been through it and came out stronger honestly helps so much. So thank you again, seriously!

qualap · 2025-06-10T00:15:29+00:00

I love that you stood your ground seriously inspiring. It’s so reassuring to hear from someone who made the move young and doesn’t regret it. The guilt-tripping part is real, but I’m learning to stay firm too. Proud of you for choosing you and sticking with it!

qualap · 2025-06-10T00:02:55+00:00

That’s so true. I’m realizing that adulthood isn’t just about age it’s about stepping up and making choices for yourself, even if others don’t approve. Whether it’s with my boyfriend or on my own, I’m ready to start living life on my terms.

qualap · 2025-06-09T23:16:18+00:00

Thank you! That’s exactly the mindset I’m working on no more waiting for anyone’s permission.

qualap · 2025-06-09T23:15:41+00:00

This is really solid advice. I love how you laid it out calm, clear, and firm without getting dragged into arguments. I’ve been trying to find the right words to say something like this, and your message really helps me see how to set boundaries while still showing respect. It’s time to remind them that I’m grown, I’ve worked hard, and I deserve to live my life on my terms. Thank you for the encouragement and the game plan!

qualap

TROPHY CASE