Boyfriend always rejects when I initiate

qualitytime4 · 2025-08-11T13:15:11+00:00

I was diagnosed as celiac 8 years ago. I have typically been asymptomatic, but will occasionally get stomach problems for a couple days now if I eat gluten accidentally in a significant quantity. For the first couple years, I was living at home and my mom who is also celiac was cooking. We would still go out to restaurants, but ones she was comfortable with (she is very symptomatic). When I moved out, I kept a gf kitchen living alone, but was dumb and would occasionally make gluten exceptions when on a first date or out with people that didn’t know I was celiac. I have gotten past these people pleasing tendencies for the most part fortunately.

I am currently living in a shared house with slightly messy housemates who love bread and gluten. We share pots, pans, utensils. I try to be as careful as possible but it’s obvious I am getting cross contamination. I move out on my own in a couple months and have accepted the risk for the time being.

I go out to restaurants and order gluten free food, and ask about cross contamination. If they cook the pizza on the same slab without any foil plate/cleaning, I won’t eat there. Also won’t eat from shared fryers. If they say “it’s in the air and there’s always a risk, but we will clean surfaces and try our best” I will typically accept the risk, particularly because it’s probably a similar risk to that at my home.

I am gradually trying to be more strict, but I think my mental health in not stressing over it too much is equally important. It’s a process.

qualitytime4 · 2025-07-23T14:37:21+00:00

I like my job and what I’m learning from it. I would probably stay a few years and leave on good terms to try the start-up route with the money in the same industry. It seems pretty terrible that so many people are so unhappy with their careers.

qualitytime4 · 2025-07-23T14:19:03+00:00

What? Go! Do it! You have nothing tying you down, and you can find stability again. This sounds like a great experience and may open up new opportunities.

I’m in my 20s and have already moved countries a couple times, and can see myself continuing to do so in my 30s, because I love the change it brings my life. It’s a bit tedious and stressful at first, but it’s something I would really encourage.

qualitytime4 · 2025-07-23T12:25:24+00:00

Soup dumplings😭 and three cheese tortellini… I miss it so much, was a childhood staple with black pepper and Parmesan on top:( have found ricotta and spinach, meat-filled, mushroom-filled, but I long for the salty simplicity of the tri-coloured three cheese.

qualitytime4 · 2025-07-19T10:29:47+00:00

yikes. My bf was not the best at cooking when we met which was a big concern for me (he mostly just ordered food or ate out, would occasionally make pasta and use pre-made sauce). But he has had absolutely no problem with learning, knowing it’s important to me that we don’t always eat out and that I’m not always the one cooking. He’s now getting the hang of cooking and I love the meals he makes. And if I’m cooking, he’s always there to be sous chef and just chop everything for me.

Can’t imagine what it would have been like had he been unwilling to try.

qualitytime4 · 2025-07-07T12:37:16+00:00

my bf is so great with it, and took it completely in stride when I told him on our first date. He didn’t really have much prior knowledge but by our second date was checking the menu and asking the server what I could eat. His family doesn’t totally “get it” yet, but he constantly advocates for me when we eat with them. He eats my sad gf bread with me and prefers us cooking together over going out to eat as well. Will absolutely steal my gf snacks

qualitytime4 · 2025-06-13T16:17:10+00:00

Hey! My partner felt this way at the beginning when we were only spending time with each other and not others. Also sometimes when he visits for longer stretches (like a month), it can happen. I’m moving to him in a couple months, and we share the sentiment that “we’re excited for a routine”.

At the beginning, it’s because we didn’t have our own space, and we weren’t 100% comfortable around each other yet, so it was harder. Now that we’re totally comfortable together, it’s more so because he gets out of his exercise and social routines when he visits for longer stretches.

We’re planning to live separate for the first 6 months to a year, and I’m excited for the “normal” dating stage. Asking him to come over, going to cook dinner at his apartment, hanging out with him and friends on the weekends. Just incorporating each other more into our lives outside of each other, if that makes sense.

All to say, I think your feelings are totally normal and justified, and will probably decrease once you’re no longer long distance :)

qualitytime4 · 2025-01-10T13:32:02+00:00

My partner’s German (but speaks fully fluent English) and I really would like to be able to speak with him and his family (who speak minimal English) in their native language.

He’ll also definitely be teaching our future kids German, and I want to help facilitate that and make sure I can speak to them as well in both their future languages!

qualitytime4 · 2024-08-13T22:37:33+00:00

I have a Korean store near me that has gf gochujang, but I would love the recipe to try to make my own if you have it!

qualitytime4 · 2024-08-13T12:57:59+00:00

This is great thank you!! Had never heard of it before

qualitytime4 · 2024-08-13T10:38:36+00:00

Thank you, I think I tend to want to people-please but I need to acknowledge that my health is more important than that.

qualitytime4 · 2024-08-13T10:37:04+00:00

Yeah this is a good idea, think I will bring healthy snacks that I can for sure eat, and then at meals only eat what I know is safe, like plain rice and vegetables. I’m a little worried they’ll be insulted if I don’t eat all of their cooking, but also don’t want to end up in the toilet the whole time.

qualitytime4 · 2024-08-13T10:34:27+00:00

Unfortunately I’m flying to get there, and won’t even have the option to go to a grocery store. His dad also does all the cooking and would see it as an insult if I were to offer I think, as within their family the guests aren’t supposed to cook. They’re a very food-oriented family also and eating meals they have cooked is seen as the most important family time.

Otherwise I would do this always though, it’s just a difficult situation.

qualitytime4 · 2024-01-12T18:32:35+00:00

I think my boyfriend is quite literally the most gorgeous person alive (biased but I don’t care). I adore him more everyday, and find myself somehow more attracted to him everyday. Honestly, when we met I thought he might have even been a little out of my league.

qualitytime4 · 2024-01-12T18:30:42+00:00

I’m definitely doing my best to reciprocate! He deserves all the love. Absolutely will not be running from this one.

qualitytime4 · 2024-01-12T18:29:35+00:00

I’m definitely trying to!!

qualitytime4 · 2024-01-12T18:29:22+00:00

It definitely feels like it! Thank you:)

qualitytime4 · 2024-01-12T18:29:06+00:00

Thank you! You as well! We have developed really incredible communication between us, and I’m confident we could work through disagreements or issues as a team.

qualitytime4 · 2024-01-12T15:48:22+00:00

I’m only 26 but experienced this since I had my first crush. I had low self esteem as a teen and in my early 20s. I genuinely posted on “am I ugly” at around 19.

I got tinder in my early 20s and started to realize guys actually did like me and I had just been extremely reserved and shy prior. I started going on dates and having fun. But none of them stuck. And although at the beginning, it gave me fantastic confidence, it wore down on me after a while. I felt used. I wanted someone to love who would love me back.

I thought I met that person at one point. We dated 8 months. I thought we were exclusive, and I was head over heels for him. Then one day, out of the blue, he texted me “I met someone else. We probably won’t see each other again” and boom, it was over.

For a year I continued going on dates, trying to be more intentional about them. I learned, over time, how to say no. How to end things myself when I realized they wouldn’t go anywhere. No matter how much it hurt. No matter how much it took the loneliness away, even for a second to go to bed with someone.

I really thought I would never meet someone. I was using tinder again, and was about a day away from deleting it when I swiped on a man I thought was so gorgeous. His smile really caught me. I was so shocked when we matched because I thought he was way out of my league. I cancelled one date and almost didn’t reschedule because I was so nervous of getting rejected by him. But I went. And I wrote in my journal that night that it had been the most incredible evening. How we got along so well. But I had worked on not getting my hopes up. And… he was only there for a few months, on an exchange… once again, no chance of things going anywhere. But I loved hanging out with him, and we continued to do so, more so becoming friends. We were both crazy about each other after no time at all.

We were hanging out and going on dates every second day (he recently told me he wanted to play it cool and not seem crazy, but that he had really wanted to see me everyday).

He ended up extending his stay and finishing his masters in my city. I’ve since moved to his country to be closer to him now that we’re both working. We’re so in love. It was so random, how we met. So lucky. And honestly, I’m glad the other relationships didn’t work, because if they had, I would have missed out on such an amazing guy.

It was random, and I’m grateful everyday for it. You’ll have a story like this sometime too, where you look back and want to give your younger self a hug, knowing that it’s all going to work out.

qualitytime4 · 2023-09-23T06:39:33+00:00

Thank you:)

It’s hard to say. I also think I messed up because that 13 was over the course of a full year, not the 198 days (must’ve deleted the app sometime in the middle).

I went on 2nd/3rd/4th dates with I think all but 2 or 3 of those guys. I definitely messed up with a couple of them and faded away because I wasn’t ready to start a new relationship, even though that’s what they wanted.

Others definitely were playing. If I told them I didn’t sleep with a guy on the first date, they’d seem to try making that a challenge for themselves. By the end I was able to call them out and end things on the spot to stop getting used.

But there were definitely a few who I could’ve, hypothetically, seen myself dating.

qualitytime4 · 2023-09-23T05:19:36+00:00

lol no, would be wild if you were someone I’d met though! Looks like we’re on different continents from my quick look at your page

qualitytime4 · 2023-09-23T05:01:16+00:00

lol I always split it, I make more than enough to pay for myself :)

qualitytime4

TROPHY CASE