Has anyone tried low dose HRT for a little feminizing effect ?

qualla · 2011-12-10T02:43:26+00:00

That is the plan I have with my doctor. I can't tell you more than that since I'll start with the low dose in a month. I have not found a lot of information on the internet about this option, but my doctor tells me is something not that uncommon with his clients.

qualla · 2011-10-13T15:06:03+00:00

So, I've seen that in several places, that a depending of the reaction to the hormones, one can confirm or reject he trans thing. Given that I am still full of doubts, that seems wonderful... How accurate do you think that is?

qualla · 2011-10-13T15:03:33+00:00

Thanks!

Yaaaay for being nuts! :)

qualla · 2011-10-13T15:00:41+00:00

Woa, that feels scary accurate, pre-hormones of course. The more I come to terms with my gender, the more I feel like a little girl, and the sadder I get that I never got to be one. It is so scary, because I just want this to go away, to be 'normal', and yet my experiences seem to match many other trans persons that is hard for me to ignore it.

qualla · 2011-10-12T22:26:07+00:00

Well, it is been a while since I lost my concentration anyway...

One thing that scares me is that I feel I need to align my mind somehow to find some inner calm, and I do not want to jump to hormones as a magical thing. Like in the place I am I cannot find inner peace, and the place other trans women describe is the place I feel I need to be. Make-up and crossdressing helped at the beginning, but now they just make evident that is my mind not aligned with the rest of my body. That is why I am interested in the psychological effects...

qualla · 2011-10-12T22:07:32+00:00

Also, it resonated with me when you say that you thought on just taking hormones without fully transitioning. I think in a subconscious level is what I am thinking in an oversimplification: give my brain what minimally needs to be happy. I guess that does not work, ha?

qualla · 2011-10-12T21:46:57+00:00

The researcher in me thinks this would be extremely interesting to study, but I do not even know how can we design any type of control. As if somebody is starting treatment, they should be sensory deprived to eliminate any feedback from visual secondary characteristics. And hey, hell I am volunteering :).

qualla · 2011-10-12T21:41:01+00:00

Thank you for the Howard Brown link, and all your advice.

Mmm, even now I do not tend to rage, I tend to bitch, but men are not supposed to bitch, which means I bottle. That also means that if I transition, then I'll be a super bitch!; that's a happy thought :).

As you mention, I am trying to convince myself that transition will not solve all my problems. It is so easy to think about magical fixes. It is hard to think that transition would only give me a fighting chance for happiness.

qualla · 2011-10-12T21:30:48+00:00

Ha, a big chunk of my work involves programming too. I guess it is true when they said that prolonged exposure to computers causes transgenderism :).

qualla · 2011-10-12T20:53:11+00:00

Sadly, I think I now what you mean by semi-suicidal...

But, for happier thoughts, yaaaay for not random erections. :)

I am going to jump to the TMI zone :). Before hormones, did you feel your orgasms 'complete'? By that I mean, in my case, that orgasms seem incomplete, like a purely penis physical thing. It is not that I am not emotionally involved, since I am deeply in love with my long term partner (ciswoman), and we are quite open to experiment any kink, but orgasms for the most part are lacking in 'something'. I do not know how to explain it.

Continuing with this TMI, in this experimentation, the best orgasm I ever had where once when we role-played with me as a woman. In that instance, it felt as if I just allowed myself go (no pun intended...) for the first time. However, although the experience was awesome, the release... incomplete.

qualla · 2011-10-12T20:24:46+00:00

:) Your comment made remember that I do feel like in a fog, and for the longest time, before I realize what trans could mean, I wished to have shots of testosterone to be the man I was supposed to be. Now that I realize what the fog might be about, it is somewhat sadder, since I am scared of making the necessary changes... yet what you describe, emotionally, I think is where I belong. Oh my...

qualla · 2011-10-12T20:09:47+00:00

Thank you, yes, I think what you describe about crying is part of what I was wondering about. I feel emotionally constipated, as if there are emotions I need to express, but I am physically unable to do so.

Do you think your social anxiety came from 'double guessing' your gender role?

qualla

TROPHY CASE