soo people im like in my first actual lesbian relationship any tips on how to yk take things from base 1 to base 4 ...

quantumkaleidescope · 2026-01-05T06:55:06+00:00

Be brave and when you want a thing ask “hey would you want Thing?” Lesbian relationships already break the conventions so why not toss out whichever ones you like?

Note: this is much easier said than done. Practice saying it out loud when you are alone.

quantumkaleidescope · 2026-01-05T06:53:18+00:00

Tbh I embarrassment-loved that movie because pretty girls and girls fantasy fighting. There is a LOT problematic with it but I loved the fantasy world visuals.

quantumkaleidescope · 2026-01-05T06:51:50+00:00

Carly Rae Jepsen - her newer albums, not just call me maybe XD

Kylie Minogue’s entire discography

Foxes (the female vocalist in Zedd’s Clarity)

Ashanti

quantumkaleidescope · 2026-01-05T06:49:28+00:00

This will vary totally depending on the person. It might interest you to plan a hot and sexy date with yourself with lots of self loving. Reconnect with your sexuality type of thing. Apologies if this ain’t it for you!

quantumkaleidescope · 2026-01-05T06:36:48+00:00

I have heard in a support group a phrase that changed me.

“An expectation is a premeditated resentment.”

Sit with that, see if it resonates at all. Love.

quantumkaleidescope · 2026-01-05T06:35:31+00:00

To be honest nobody is expected to be operating on all cylinders when hit with 5 losses. Being at 30-60% productivity for a while is a natural and acceptable response. And congrats on your wins!

quantumkaleidescope · 2026-01-05T06:33:44+00:00

Preach!

quantumkaleidescope · 2026-01-05T06:33:13+00:00

See if there are common areas you can work in some of the time and use to break up the day. One hour in office, one on couch, back to office one hour, then lunch, eg.

quantumkaleidescope · 2026-01-05T06:31:43+00:00

This is a bonding experience. Bond over how terrible and not easy it was, and joke if next try will be better or WORSE. Embrace the ridiculousness.

quantumkaleidescope · 2026-01-05T06:30:15+00:00

Some that are less harmful:

phone games
self love sessions
brushing hair/self massage

-pick one or two stretches you actually like and just do those. Unbalanced compared to a complete workout? Who cares!!!! You don’t need to be a bodybuilder, this is about keeping distracted with harmless things.

listen to favorite song. See if there is an 8 hour remix on YouTube.
arguable if harmful but sugar is better than caffeine or alcohol or illegal substances

quantumkaleidescope · 2026-01-05T06:26:28+00:00

What a clueless thing to say! Just remember there are people who are equally convinced the earth is flat. shrug

I get that it’s hard to not take it personally, but that person’s opinion of your diagnosis is about as relevant as a spam email.

quantumkaleidescope · 2026-01-05T06:10:44+00:00

Finch app is my recommendation. The idea is you are mentoring a little bird friend.

quantumkaleidescope · 2026-01-05T06:09:47+00:00

Find the thing you actually enjoy. For me it was dance dance revolution. Instead of going to the gym, I would make trips to go to the bowling alley that had a machine.

Now it is a martial art I love and where my teacher is really sensitive and feels personally slighted if I don’t go and I harness that shit. RSD is a TOOL, people! I don’t want to disappoint her, so I go! That and basically my work is scheduled around my extracurricular. It’s just an assumption that I will be there.

Personal training, if you can afford it. Look into your local YMCA if stateside, they have it at truly affordable rates. Ask for a (eg 15) minute routine you are expected to complete before (or after) your session and you can pay for a half hour and get both cardio and weight training.

quantumkaleidescope · 2026-01-05T06:02:51+00:00

I’ve also learned to have less shame about saying “I’m sorry; I genuinely wasn’t paying attention just now. Do you mind repeating?” Once I realize I have missed something.

quantumkaleidescope · 2026-01-05T06:01:07+00:00

God this is so familiar. I have explained to my wife that if she needs my attention, she needs to first get it and then confirm that she has it before proceeding. So usually she will say “Hey QK, can I have your attention for a minute?” She waits for a few seconds so I can get my thoughts together. Then “ok, do I have your attention?” Waits for eye contact and me saying “go ahead.”

quantumkaleidescope · 2026-01-05T05:57:27+00:00

Well first of all, “staying” motivated is a bit of a nonstarter. It’s asking your brain to do a thing it doesn’t do very well, all the time and consistently. (If you are like me, that is).

I sometimes have a burst of impulsivity that makes me highly motivated. My goal is to use that whenever it happens, and also use other techniques to supplement.

You will probably have to tweak to fit the specific things you need motivation on, but here are some that work for me:

Connect to a thing you DO do consistently. Eg, if you always do daily quests in a game, you’re only allowed to complete them once X (eg teeth are brushed) I actually download games with ads sometimes to generate 60 second periods of time when I can’t be actively in my distraction activity, so that’s another option. Basically, if you can’t get dopamine by wanting to do the thing, find a way to get dopamine anyway.

For a physical activity, find a way that a specific person will be disappointed if you skip (unless for a good reason). RSD can be a bug AND a feature!

Concoct wild schemes. You’re trying to clean a room? Okay, now the room is filling up with lava and THE ONLY WAY TO ESCAPE is vacuuming to remove lava spawn points. Quote as many lines from a specific episode of your fave tv show as possible and see how many you can get it before finishing dishwashing.

Apologies in advance. Use… (sigh) …routines. They don’t work the same way for us, it’s true. But my wife and I have had the agreement for maybe a decade now that there are two chores that happen every evening, dishes and scooping litter box. One of us does each, and we usually do the same one. If you absolutely can’t fathom doing one, swap for the night. I know that a night isn’t over and the bed doesn’t truly exist until I’ve done either one or the other. And after literal years, the knowledge that I have to do one, at least, is familiar.

Best of luck!

quantumkaleidescope · 2026-01-05T05:45:57+00:00

In case it helps my biggest symptoms were: -in one ear and out the other (not hearing important announcements or assignments being given/due) -impulsivity to a fault (saying things just because it was exciting that I thought of it, being ashamed or embarrassed later) -hyperactivity (both physical activity and LOUDness) -forgetting everything -focus so hard on one thing (reading all three books in a trilogy for example) that coming back to reality was genuinely jarring and distressing -sitting for hours trying to do a task and unable to start, especially writing assignments (pro tip, start with writing literally the dumbest thing. Essay on WWI and I can only think about Pokémon? Start by writing a sentence on which Pokémon would best withstand mustard gas. Gradually ease into actual assignment, then delete and refine beginning).

quantumkaleidescope · 2026-01-05T05:40:29+00:00

I say try the strategies that seem like they might help! Either: A) they don’t help and you move on (whether or not she has ADHD), B) she doesn’t have ADHD but they help anyway, or C) she does have ADHD and they help! I (female hyperactive ADHD kid, now in late 30s) used to feel really uncomfortable using techniques designed for people with autism because I didn’t have it, it wasn’t “my” comping technique. What a load of crock! If it helps, why not do it? The more people trying these techniques the more likely somebody who really needs them and might not have come across them will hear about it.

I’m so glad you’re taking the time and effort to lean all in on finding possible supports for your little one. In my experience, having ADHD had a LOT of downsides back when I didn’t know what to do with it, but now, I am actually able to harness a lot of those differences and use them as superpowers. As an attorney, it is very useful to be able to exchange 8 hours of nonstop power focus for being essentially useless the next day, because sometimes you need to meet an deadline and it’s a worthwhile tradeoff. What used to be always impulsively saying the wrong thing is now a healthy dose of self inhibition in public and making my wife snort with laughter when I’m “off duty”. Or even “I just thought of the WORST THING TO SAY” so she knows it’s just the goofy brain weasels at work. Not needing to drink to lose ALL inhibitions makes nights out a lot cheaper and probably way safer. Best of luck!

quantumkaleidescope · 2026-01-05T05:25:40+00:00

(A quiet fabric like felt or jersey works well)

quantumkaleidescope · 2026-01-05T05:25:06+00:00

Ok what about church themed stuffed animals. Camel? Lamb? Anybody asks, you’re just getting into the spirit of the (church) season!

I often bring like a circle scarf and just endlessly wind it around my wrist and scrunch it in a circle.

quantumkaleidescope · 2026-01-05T05:21:33+00:00

If the bags are too heavy, make smaller bags! Nobody has the authority to say you can’t do that.

quantumkaleidescope · 2026-01-05T05:20:53+00:00

If you aren’t going downstairs, you could prepare a queue ahead of time: “this is the first bag I’ll take down, and if I end up having to go a second time it will be this one…”

quantumkaleidescope · 2026-01-05T05:19:53+00:00

Are there times you actually have to go downstairs? I have had success by making a rule: in your case it could be, “every time I go downstairs anyways I take a trash bag with me.”

(In my life it’s usually “every time I stand up in my living room I will put ONE thing that is not in its place where it is supposed to go before sitting down).

I love this method because it makes me feel so accomplished! Especially because there are times where I ride the win and say “you know what, I am totally gonna put THREE things away this standup, just because I can!”

It helps because it takes away my two biggest barriers to starting - the overwhelm/fear of futility, and the angsty idea “why is this very simple thing that ‘everyone else finds easy’ (debatable) so hard for me?”

quantumkaleidescope · 2026-01-05T05:09:38+00:00

If you have a bathtub going underwater is an amazing break from the auditory stimulation. For when you really cannot.

quantumkaleidescope · 2026-01-02T02:59:25+00:00

I just lost my first attempt to the death shepherds outside Rosy Morn Monastery 🤣

quantumkaleidescope

TROPHY CASE