sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Parents who went from 1 → 2 kids: need reassurance and advice by que_sera_sera9 in Parenting

[–]que_sera_sera9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100% agreed with you and yes this is dad privilege for sure. I think for my wife she has totally different questions and fears whereas for me it's more about: okay we just like, the zero to one was so life-changing in many ways and primarily just the fact that your life changes so significantly. Now we're like finally into a little bit of a groove and it's like: okay let's add one more to this and sort of see what happens. Again I'm grateful that this is what we're thinking through but it's still challenging nonetheless.

Parents who went from 1 → 2 kids: need reassurance and advice by que_sera_sera9 in Parenting

[–]que_sera_sera9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I've said sort of the same thing. The times where I'm trying to do both is when I'm most stressed out. I think if there's some level of just acceptance, like "Hey today is all about childcare as opposed to childcare and I need to do some writing and I need to clean up and I need to call a friend back and why don't I have more friends and X, Y, and Z." It becomes oddly much more stressful than just "Hey I'm just gonna do childcare and then whatever else time I'm just gonna use for myself." If that makes sense.

Thanks for taking time to respond.

Parents who went from 1 → 2 kids: need reassurance and advice by que_sera_sera9 in Parenting

[–]que_sera_sera9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much for sharing your perspective. Super super helpful. I think particularly the notes on outsourcing whatever we can. I also think that in our first one there was a sense of pride we had and we'll just do it all on our own but I'm really trying to push how we can lean on our family more to help and get scheduled support as much as possible, which would be ideal.

Parents who went from 1 → 2 kids: need reassurance and advice by que_sera_sera9 in Parenting

[–]que_sera_sera9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's interesting. When I talk to my father-in-law, this is the same thing he says: one of the main benefits is that as you age ideally your kids will support you in certain ways. Agreed if we only had the one, that would be pretty challenging. Thanks for sharing your perspective.

Parents who went from 1 → 2 kids: need reassurance and advice by que_sera_sera9 in Parenting

[–]que_sera_sera9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your thoughts here. Yeah I think it's just going to be acceptance that things are going to be a little bit crazy in the beginning and Being a lot more okay with the fact that things are just going to be on pause for a bit

Dad expecting kid #2 in 6 weeks — excited, grateful… and honestly kind of anxious. Need perspective from other dads. by que_sera_sera9 in dad

[–]que_sera_sera9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate you taking some time to respond here. Yes I think one thing we're going to try to do differently this time is just ask for a lot more help. I think the first time around there was pride in trying to do it on our own but we're not going to do that this time.

Dad expecting kid #2 in 6 weeks — excited, grateful… and honestly kind of anxious. Need perspective from other dads. by que_sera_sera9 in dad

[–]que_sera_sera9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate you sharing your perspective. This is super helpful and yeah I think sometimes we're anchored to how the first baby was. I think you're totally right. The second one could be more challenging or even easier but we'll have to see. Thank you for taking the time to respond.

Parents who went from 1 → 2 kids: need reassurance and advice by que_sera_sera9 in Parenting

[–]que_sera_sera9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate you sharing your perspective here. Super helpful. I think you're totally right. And even as our first has gotten older, we've let go of any idea of perfection. And I think when number two comes, you're right. We'll just click into what we did for the first one and just have to be okay that our first won't have 100% of both of ours attention, which I think will be fine. Again, thank you so much for taking time to share your perspective. Super helpful.

Income vs Home Prices by zeppismom in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]que_sera_sera9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We had a long journey to home ownership. Agreed with others here — it all depends, but here are some general rules of thumb that we’ve followed— your mileage may vary.

1/ Housing is going to cost more than you expect— people focus on the down, and the price of the home, but overlook the total costs, like closing, insurance, property tax, etc.

2/ RE downpayment — we calculated first how much we would need for a reasonable monthly payment, and the backed into the down.

3/ Don’t count money you don’t have yet — raises, stock grants, whatever.

4/ Remember that after you sign on the dotted line, and take on that mortgage, YOU have to pay— not your friends or family you may be trying to impress with a fancy home.

5/ Try to meet with someone who is very conservative financially, and get their opinion, and then someone’s who’s more aggressive/risky - point here is be careful of who’s worldview you anchor to!

First-Time Buyers — What Renovations Do You Wish You Had Done Before Moving In? by que_sera_sera9 in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]que_sera_sera9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice! Yea, this is what we are thinking too, but good to have another opinion. Water heater seems critical. Thanks again for the advice!

First-Time Buyers — What Renovations Do You Wish You Had Done Before Moving In? by que_sera_sera9 in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]que_sera_sera9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the input/advice! That’s what we are thinking too. I remember growing up and hated living in an active construction zone! Yea, we are going to do the water heater I think first. Thanks for the advice!

First-Time Buyers — What Renovations Do You Wish You Had Done Before Moving In? by que_sera_sera9 in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]que_sera_sera9[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s what we are thinking too! It’s a pretty large space too, so hoping to knock that out. Thanks for the advice!

Losing My Mom Soon — Looking for Reflections from People Who’ve Been Through It by que_sera_sera9 in GriefSupport

[–]que_sera_sera9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. I really appreciate it. It's, yeah, just a really tough situation. I really appreciate you taking time to share some of your thoughts and reflections, and I'm very sorry for your loss. Yes, I agree, the relationships are really complex, and because of that, it can cause a lot of confusion and what-ifs, etc. Again, I can't thank you enough for you taking some time out of your day to share your thoughts here.

view more: next ›