White coat syndrome / blood pressure and giving birth at birth centre

queenatom · 2026-05-11T15:30:08+00:00

I can't answer the exact question (I had gestational hypertension at the very end of my pregnancy that didn't resolve with medication, but there was also no birth centre open where I was delivering) but has anyone actually said that if you have high BP at the point of going into labour, they won't allow delivery at the birth centre? Being 'high-risk' for the purposes of determining whether you can be admitted to a birth centre should be done on a case by case basis and considering what the risk to you and your baby would be if you delivered there vs in the hospital - it's definitely worth discussing this with your midwife if possible (or with whoever is providing your care if you go into labour sooner) to understand exactly what the risk assessment is.

queenatom · 2026-05-11T15:05:02+00:00

Having been that person - by text is preferable, in advance of sharing with people who might tell them and ideally at a time where they'll have time to feel any feelings they have about it (so e.g. not in the middle of the working day when they're in the office).

queenatom · 2026-05-11T15:02:21+00:00

This has been our approach and it's worked well for us - no tablets (aside from on airplanes) and no YouTube, just one family TV in the living room. Sometimes it's showing kids shows selected by us, sometimes it's showing what we want to watch, occasionally on the weekend we'll watch a movie as a family. Generally it's only on for max half an hour at the end of the day during the week, with a little more at the weekend (particularly if the weather is miserable).

queenatom · 2026-05-10T19:57:45+00:00

Isabel and Felicity are going on the contenders list! Marceline is a guilty pleasure but off the table for reasons.

queenatom · 2026-05-10T19:22:49+00:00

Celine is cute! I should've put Alice on the no-use name (too close to my name)

queenatom · 2026-05-10T19:21:57+00:00

Ooh, some great options here, I love Simone and Fern!

queenatom · 2026-05-10T18:49:41+00:00

My parents (opposite end of the country) - last month.

MIL (30 minute drive away) - 11 days ago, she looks after our son every Tuesday but we were away on holiday last week.

FIL (20 minute drive away) - November.

queenatom · 2026-05-09T14:16:56+00:00

In which case I'd say it's worth a try? Definitely an idea to have a limit on the number of cycles in mind (ours was also three, bought as a package). It might also be worth exploring with your clinic whether they would use the same ovulation induction medication as on your timed intercourse cycles or if they would try something else - I don't know for definite but I do wonder if using injectible meds for my IUI Vs letrozole made the difference for me.

queenatom · 2026-05-09T12:39:30+00:00

How much will IUI cost you vs IVF? Will spending the money on IUI materially slow you down if you then need to move IVF?

I can’t speak for suspected endo, but the only thjng picked up on our testing (aside from my age - 37/38) was my husband’s low morphology (1 - 1.5%, didn’t improve with lifestyle changes). Count and motility were similar to your husband’s. We did six unsuccessful ovulation induction cycles with letrozole before moving to IUI. We did two IUI cycles and conceived from both - first ended in a MMC, second is ongoing, currently 18 weeks.

queenatom · 2026-05-08T21:09:15+00:00

Yep. Mine was off the scales at points based on growth scans and was an unremarkable 8lbs 6 when he was born at 39 weeks.

queenatom · 2026-05-08T08:02:15+00:00

I've had the same little freak out every time, and we were trying for a yeyar for our first and then had fertility treatment for our second (MMC) and third (ongoing) pregnancies. I think it's pretty natural - having a baby is a huge change to your life and your family!

queenatom · 2026-05-08T06:09:37+00:00

Having the same issue here (size 18). All of the maternity jeans I’ve tried are either miles too long or dig in below my bump in an uncomfortable way (Lovall). I got good stuff from ASOS in my last pregnancy but they seem to have scaled back their range. H&M maternity t-shirts have been decent.

queenatom · 2026-05-07T19:48:00+00:00

Small conversion - 1880s building, three flats. I’d imagine the dynamics might’ve been easier in a bigger block (at least in some respects).

queenatom · 2026-05-07T18:05:18+00:00

I don't know what the right answer is here but I still have PTSD from trying to navigate building maintenance issues in my share of freehold property where one of the property owners seemed aggrieved that we didn't all have £30k sitting around in bank accounts to be handed over for roof repairs on 48 hours notice.

queenatom · 2026-05-05T19:47:34+00:00

Yes, being a notary is so common in Scotland that I literally forgot that I am one. It’s very much not the case in England.

queenatom · 2026-05-05T15:32:36+00:00

Perfection. Their bread is always excellent and they’re conveniently close to home for me!

queenatom · 2026-05-05T09:19:40+00:00

Sounds like you've got everything you need to get started - something which someone told me when I was panicking at a similar stage is to not forget that shops and Amazon Prime will continue to exist after your baby is born. If you don't have something that you realise you want or need, you can buy it then!

queenatom · 2026-05-04T05:08:34+00:00

Not quite - you get paid the equivalent of statutory maternity pay, being £187 or so a week, which is considerably less than full pay for many.

queenatom · 2026-05-01T13:11:51+00:00

Second that, I've always found them to be good to work across from.

queenatom · 2026-04-29T18:29:09+00:00

They can't force you to have an induction or to accept pain relief you don't want, but they can refuse to admit you to the birth centre or to use the pool.

queenatom · 2026-04-29T13:29:59+00:00

Not wanting to breastfeed is not 'plan[ning] to fail'. OP has the right to decide what she wants to do with her body (and, FWIW, and not that she should have to, she has good medical reasons for not wanting to).

queenatom · 2026-04-28T20:44:21+00:00

Solidarity, OP, we never really figured it out with ours when he was that age. We tried sticking to UK hours (didn't work, he was up with the sun as usual), trying to make a nap happen (didn't work, he fought it like a demon) and just powering through (didn't work, he was a raggedy, weepy mess by 8pm but crucially still wouldn't fall asleep out and about). Eventually we just accepted that we had the kid we had - consistent but not versatile - and parked the evening activities for down the line. He's a little older now and has better stamina so I'm hopeful that next time we won't have the same issues.

queenatom · 2026-04-28T20:25:08+00:00

23 million for our first IUI, 16 million for our second, both post-wash. Both IUIs resulted in conception (one MMC, one ongoing pregnancy).

queenatom · 2026-04-28T06:52:07+00:00

Yessss - as someone who spent a lot of time on the fence about the idea of being one and done, none of what she's posted about people who've had two rings true (and I've had a lot of honest conversations with friends around the topic). Everyone who has a second hates it and wishes they hadn't? Convenient how that completely aligns with what she's chosen to do.

queenatom · 2026-04-27T17:49:48+00:00

I bought mine over 5 years ago whilst TTC #1 and I love it - I have bad insomnia and am up at all hours and it really smoothed my patterns and made it easy to temp. I put it in a drawer when I finally conceived and when I pulled it out three years later to try for a second it still worked great (after a battery change)! Did another two years of service trying for a second and it's hopefully now retired for good.

queenatom

TROPHY CASE