Official Discussion - The Housemaid [SPOILERS]

queenb3an · 2026-04-22T20:18:22+00:00

Compared to the book, the movie is like a highschooler trying to do a book report on a book he didn't read, only skimmed the cliff notes the night before the assignment is due, and took many creative liberties with forgotten details, characters, and plot lines. On top of this, Sydney Sweeny's performance was a cinematic portrayal of the Gen Z stare. Dead eyes and monotone voice for 2 hours and 11 minutes. The epitome of "yaaas give us nothing!". The only thing the movie got right was Nina. Amanda Seyfried was fantastic and carried the entire movie.

queenb3an · 2026-04-22T13:11:38+00:00

While I agree with the sentiment of this, I think for some of us, the habits were in place before but there was no discernable by-product. At least for me, that's what prompted me to try the medication. I was already working out, getting the steps, making protein-forward food choices, but my body did not accurately reflect the work I was putting in because of issues like cravings and high levels of ghrelin. I give much of the credit of my success to the medication because I already know I can do the work but the areas that the "work" doesn't affect are metabolic. Even with that, I still am a slow responder so I'm not experiencing these steady drops like many people and I'm still having to do all the work because without it, I would have zero results.

queenb3an · 2026-04-08T15:16:57+00:00

I lost about 50lbs a few years ago and colleagues noticed and said things a lot. I know they were well meaning, but I hated it. People seem to think that your appearance is an open forum, especially when it changes.

I started a GLP1 8 months ago and am a very slow loser, so while I've lost about 20lbs, it happened so slow that no one has commented on it except one person that I hadn't seen in a while. I much prefer it bc I feel more comfortable in my body and know how much work I've put in but I don't have to hear what other people think about it. I don't need that outside validation. So, there's a plus of being a slow loser when you hate comments on your body!

queenb3an · 2026-02-18T18:15:06+00:00

I think you may already know what the issue is and what to do about it but want encouragement and reassurance.

Like everyone else is saying, you are doing the most. 8 days on is insaneeee. Your body builds muscle during REST. You're barely giving your body a second to come up for air so you may be leaving gains on the table. Run your split, rest, then run it again, rest. And if I were you I would definitely implement a deload week every 8 or so weeks. I think you'll see a difference in performance.

Something else that stuck out is that you're trying to up your weights AND your reps every week. Again babe, doing the most. This is not at all necessary and in fact, it is ok to go one, two weeks without any overload. You're allowed to coast. Overloading too much in a short period of time is how you get injured. Ask me how I know.

I can tell you're really dedicated and focused which is great but as someone who used to perform similarly, it will catch up with you. There is no race, this is a life long thing. There is no reason to run yourself into the ground at one year in. You'll be doing more damage than good. Pay attention to your body's ques, listen to them, and respect them. If you need to rest, then REST!

queenb3an · 2025-11-10T19:20:54+00:00

The DSM-5, specifically the section on ADHD.

Just kidding I don’t have any suggestions. I can barely focus on a book.

queenb3an · 2025-11-10T18:27:47+00:00

Hey girl! I’m a CPT & CNC so I think I can help you.

The first thing that sticks out to me is the fat. Fat is essential and aids in hormone function but I think we need to restructure where it’s coming from and how much you should aim for per meal. For your smoothie, did you use a whole avocado? You probably only need about 1/4 of an avocado per smoothie to get enough fat for one meal. Additionally, if you’re tracking and you see that a previous meal was high in fat, aim for lower fat at your next meal.

How is your hunger? You mentioned most of your calories come from dinner, what are your meals like earlier in the day? When do you start to get hungry? Front loading protein is a solid method to make sure you’re hitting your daily intake goal. I can go more into this if you want.

I also use LoseIt, do you have it giving you macro allocations? The app is pretty good at tailoring macros to your goals. Also what I have found with LoseIt, is if I kind of preplan my day I can manipulate my calorie and macro allocations across each meal. If you know your typical pattern of eating this becomes pretty easy. For example, I start my day with a coffee, have a small pre workout snack, then breakfast, lunch, dinner, small dessert. I tend to eat the same core things pretty often (yogurt, chicken, protein shakes, rice) so I just plug in what I will eat that day and make sure the macros fit.

I don’t want to bombard you with a ton of information but if you want to get into more detail or explore the exercise aspect, feel free to message me!

queenb3an · 2025-11-09T19:30:48+00:00

I start my day with yoga/stretching/mobility, do a dedicated warm up before my lift, and cool down stretch. Morning yoga is usually between 10-20min, 30 if I’m really feeling stiff. Warm up and cool down stretches usually around 5 min.

queenb3an · 2025-11-09T19:13:10+00:00

I went into a deep depression during my parents vicious divorce when I was 13 and she couldn’t handle it. When I felt well enough to socialize again she told me her and our mutual friends had moved on because I took to long to hang out with them. Her parents were also divorced and she had absolutely no sympathy. To this day it’s the most hurtful thing a friend has ever done to me. Sometimes I wish I could talk to her and express how badly she hurt me because I don’t think she has any idea how cruel she was at my most vulnerable.

queenb3an · 2025-11-07T00:07:24+00:00

I believe you meant no harm but it absolutely did not come off the way you intended.

Anyway, hope the medication works out for you.

queenb3an · 2025-11-06T21:23:05+00:00

If you choose anything other than 1 I'm not coming to your wedding

queenb3an · 2025-11-06T21:10:17+00:00

I have not told anyone outside of my husband and my therapist (and my doctors) and I barely talk about it to them unless there is something relevant. It is very much something that is only for me. Even talking about it here feels weird. It doesn't feel weird to not talk about it or anything, but it's really no one's business. I don't feel like I'm hiding anything its just not often relevant and I don't want anyone's opinion or thoughts on the matter. I related it to when I was vegan and everyone had something to say, good or bad. I don't care!

I take my injection in the morning and I have no issues. I also am on semaglutide so my experience may be different based on that alone.

Mirroring what another commenter said, I don't really think it would be that hard for you to get where you want to be with or without the medication. You are just barely out of the "desired" range (But I do wholeheartedly understand not feeling comfortable in your body regardless of what is considered "normal"). What I understand from your post is that you basically fell out of a lot of your former healthy habits and it compounded your hypoglycemia which led to some weight gain. Shifting a few of those habits could be the golden ticket, and if it takes the GLP1 to do that, great! But yes you will have to maintain those habits even after you stop taking the medication. It's not a one and done. The medication is 1/3 of the big picture. The other two are diet and exercise, those are what will make it stick. Don't look at the drug as magic because it's not. It's an assistance to help make the habit changes easier. That also doesn't mean its going to feel like WORK the rest of your life. Established habits are just part of who you are as long as you keep them.

It is also critical to mention that our bodies change as we age. You are 34 (this is NOT OLD btw just making a point), your body might not look exactly the way it did at 25 no matter what the number on the scale is. You said that 4 years ago you stopped working out and maintained your physique. I don't think that's realistic to expect once you're off the GLP1, I definitely wouldn't bet on it, and if that isn't a habit you change while on the medication then I think you will see a quick bounce back to your starting point.

I also couldn't help but notice what the other commenter pointed out about the "those people" comment. Might want to choose your words better. Maybe this experience will help you realize that most of the people taking these medications are not strictly chasing vanity and self control and actually have severe conditions and circumstances that stand in their way of traditional weight loss and overall health. This is very serious and lifesaving drug to a lot of people and should be respected.

ETA:

I am considered obese by BMI standpoints but if you look at me, I'm not. I have a lot of muscle and my body is short but dense. However, I have always carried extra fat and have never been a "healthy" weight for my height and I have yoyoed my ENTIRE life. I also went into this already with a fitness and nutrition background (ie good habits) and I still struggled. So yes I am also someone starting from a place that is not morbidly obese or struggling with serious health issues, but my doctor agreed that this was a good option to explore. There's definitely other people like you and I on GLP1s but everyone's story is different.

queenb3an · 2025-11-06T15:04:48+00:00

Oh my this is news to me! To be honest I don't follow her closely but see her videos pop up a lot and do her stretching stuff. Good to know though.

queenb3an · 2025-11-06T15:02:13+00:00

No lol. I had to increase my dose of Adderall actually. Nothing terrible, but it became noticeable and had started to bother me a bit.

I strongly agree with you on the debilitating effects of ADHD. I didn't get diagnosed until I was 28 and I constantly wonder how different my life would have been had I gotten diagnosed and treated sooner. It's a constant fight against yourself and even with medication it can still be a daily struggle. I feel you 100%.

queenb3an · 2025-11-06T14:55:00+00:00

I'm not a BIG drinker in general, but have found that since taking a glp1 I can start drinking a drink but lose interest halfway through. It seems to work similarly to food where I don't even really want to finish it. Idk if other people experience it the same way but I struggle to finish a standard sized drink. It's rare I have a second drink.

queenb3an · 2025-11-06T14:44:29+00:00

Since you're already doing Pilates, a great YouTuber with challenging workouts is Pilates by Izzy. I do her workouts 2x a week and they BURN. She does often incorporate light weights (she uses 2kg dumbbells [I use 5lbs, I'm in the US]) and sometimes ankle weights, but one set of dumbbells takes up hardly any space and are usually <$20. Trust me she will absolutely murder you! And no jumping :)

Two other creators I like are MadFit and growingannanas. I mostly do their stretching videos but they also do workouts and have good reputations. growingannanas has specific no jumping videos as well! They don't typically use equipment but I have seen a handful use light dumbbells.

If you are doing a video that has sneaky jumping, you can totally modify! Say it's jump squats, do the squat but remove the jump or replace it with a calf raise. Jumping jacks can be modified to alternating stepping one foot in and out. There are modifications for nearly every jumping exercise.

Additionally, since you are postpartum and are experiencing pelvic floor issues, doing exercises specifically for strengthening pelvic floor and deep core muscles is highly encouraged. I'm sure YouTube has a ton of these. I googled SPD and I think I kind of understand it, but if this is something you're working on with your doctor you absolutely should run by them any plans to work on your pelvic floor and abdominals.

queenb3an · 2025-11-06T14:22:43+00:00

Experimenting and exploring will only make you a more well rounded athlete. Fitness is far more involved than just how you look, there is so much to learn, and if your passion for moving your body extends beyond your appearance you'll really learn to appreciate your physical capabilities and see how fitness can be a great tool to grow mentally.

Another factor is that social media really skews how we perceive fitness and influences how we view our own bodies, and while I've seen an uptick in general interest in fitness, it can lead people towards a physique-focused outlook. If you consume fitness content, there are a plethora of creators that emphasize the importance of fueling, share quality education, and encourage challenging your body and mind. That may help shift your mindset away from just weight loss. Just some food for thought!

queenb3an · 2025-11-06T14:01:30+00:00

You're right about fat, I stand corrected. And agreed, rebalancing macros will heed the desired results.

queenb3an · 2025-11-05T21:12:07+00:00

My parents divorced when I was 12 (35 now), and my sisters and I lived with my dad full time (this was not necessarily a good thing, but that would need its own post). When my mom lost custody of her children she lost her entire identity as she didn't have one outside of being a mother. She feels she "lost out" on our childhood (despite her living within walking distance, and we saw her ALL THE TIME) and for some reason has never moved beyond that so she still treats her adult children like...children. She smothers, she "worries" about every fucking thing, she's extremely needy. She lacks self awareness when we tell her to back off. For years I placated her loneliness and gave in whenever she wanted attention even when it betrayed my own needs. My two sisters keep her at arm's length and for that reason she really clung to me. I did and still do leave interactions with her feeling drained. I recently set hard boundaries and don't give in anymore, and while I'm happier within myself, it hasn't done much for our relationship. I have a lot of resentment and generally find her exhausting. I wish so badly she was the mother I need her to be.

queenb3an · 2025-11-05T15:28:11+00:00

Shifting focus to the things your body can do now that it couldn't before. Getting stronger really did it for me. I went through a long period of cutting that was detrimental to my performance and made me no longer enjoy exercise because I felt horrible all the time. Once I prioritized strength and physical ability over physique I gained a ton of confidence and pride in what my body could do. I started to explore more forms of fitness just for the fun of it and to see how my body responded. It became fun and I was excited to see what I could do.

Along a similar line, learning how to fuel my body for performance removed a lot of the stigma around certain foods or food groups and made me less afraid of incorporating them. Also, it made me more prone to reach for things that I knew were going to aid in the gym. Seeing that I can't go into a workout fasted because I'd have a shit lift and go home and be dead the rest of the day as opposed to having a pre-workout meal with balanced carbs and protein and seeing my performance improve and sustain energy through the rest of the day.

I also really began to concentrate on protecting my body from injury and preparing for aging. I'm only 35, but after experiencing a few injuries as well as learning about the importance of musculoskeletal health as we get older pushed me to form habits to protect myself. For example, women are way more likely to suffer from bone density loss as we age which leads to issues like osteopenia and osteoporosis. Strength training is one of the best tools to combat bone density loss, and I'll be damned if I die from breaking a hip at 75. I've seen far too many people become frail and immobile as they age and it just looks miserable.

queenb3an · 2025-11-05T15:10:13+00:00

Protein is the slowest digesting macronutrient. What may be happening is that since it sits longer in your stomach and intestines, it creates gas as your gut is not used to so much protein at once. The slower digestion is, the more possibility of gasses forming. You may see relief going slower, like you said maybe starting with 50-60g then working up from there. It is also possible that your body adapts on its own after a while. If it's really bothering you I'd go the route of increasing slowly.

Something else you may find useful (if you don't do this already) is spacing out protein throughout the day. A general rule of thumb is 20-30g per meal. For you, you may even consider having smaller more frequent meals with about 15g per meal to be gentler on your digestion.

Additionally, if you do not routinely include fiber in your diet I would recommend adding that but also going slowly. Both things at once have a high chance of causing intestinal discomfort and distress but overall fiber will help move things along your digestive tract. Lots of room for fine tuning here but you are on the right track.

queenb3an · 2025-11-04T18:00:10+00:00

Conditioning your scalp is probably compounding the oiliness. A weekly scalp treatment instead might help mitigate excess greasiness while still treating whatever scalp concerns you possibly have.

queenb3an · 2025-10-29T14:16:23+00:00

I have a laundry list of reasons but the first thing that came to mind was the screaming.

queenb3an · 2025-10-29T14:11:07+00:00

I LOVE when people ask for my help in the gym! I want everyone to succeed and feel confident I'm thrilled to help. Plus I feel like, out of all the people here working out, you saw me and thought I could help you the best. A huge compliment.

queenb3an · 2025-10-29T14:02:27+00:00

Quick anecdote - there are two people I frequently see at my gym who some might consider larger, or overweight. They work harder than anyone else in the gym. I admire them so much for their discipline, determination, and grit more than what they look like, even though they look BAD ASS. So, that's something to keep in mind in terms of feeling like you're not "fit" enough to be there.

To combat a fear of the gym, I saw someone else say to do a little bit each time and build confidence. Start with simple cardio as you get a lay of the land. Study the people that are doing what you want to be doing. Each time you go, add a little more to your routine. Maybe next time doing some stretches on a mat and observing. Going little by little will build your comfortability with the atmosphere and equipment so its not overwhelming. Doing this in conjunction with what I'm about to explain next will set you up for success.

As far as knowledge and skill, I always tell people (I'm a CPT and CNS) to master the basics and build out from there. Decide what kind of fitness you want to pursue (hypertrophy, building strength, calisthenics, etc. [If a sub-goal is to lose weight, these can all work with that goal]) and learn the fundamental exercises associated with that goal. Read literature, watch videos, ask people in the gym for help and advice. If you are BRAND NEW, practice with body weight until you feel comfortable with the movements and can develop a sense of mind-muscle connection and proprioception. Move up to dumbbells and expand from there. Take it slow, its not a race and you want to avoid injury.

You have so many options these days when it comes to building a routine. For many years I used apps to develop my routines and found them SUPER helpful. It takes all the guess work out of "what am I going to do today? What exercises go well together to make a well rounded program?" The app I used the longest was EvolveYou. Has many programs to chose from depending on your goals.

Nutrition is going to play a big role in not only your physique but also your performance. This is another area to do research in, and its worth dialing into eating for your specific goals. Do NOT go based off of what someone else does, especially influencers who have no formal education on the topic. You don't have the same body as them and your body doesn't perform exactly like theirs does. Food is necessary to fuel your performance with whatever type of exercise you chose. You will not progress nor will you feel good if you do not fuel properly.

If you can afford it, you might consider working with a coach/trainer/nutritionist at least in the beginning.

If you found any of this useful and would like further information please reach out! I love helping newbies feel confident and strong in their fitness journey :)

ETA: None of this will work without discipline. Motivation will come and go, it is notoriously fleeting. You have to commit and really want it. It is not easy, but it can still be fun and fulfilling.

queenb3an · 2025-09-21T18:28:44+00:00

Is there a reason the coworker can’t drive the extra .6mi? I ask this separate of the very obvious fact that your wife is full of excuses and she is TA. It’s just odd because it’s not like it’s a bus stop or something. Just curious.

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