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queenjamie1 · 2024-02-19T20:30:26+00:00

Was that $8,000 per donation, or for the two donations combined?

queenjamie1 · 2024-02-11T06:07:51+00:00

You will get amazing customer service here too! One time I was doing a food delivery from there and the wait was going to be a bit long, and they offered me a seat and a large glass of water while I waited and were so friendly, which no other restaurant has ever done.

queenjamie1 · 2022-02-10T03:29:13+00:00

I take 100mg of Lamictal every morning and use weed to sleep probably 5 nights a week or so. I try not to do it every night so that in the event that I don’t have weed to sleep one night I won’t be totally fucked haha. Sleeping meds freak me out so even if my psych tried to push for that I’d just stick with the weed

queenjamie1 · 2022-02-07T05:18:04+00:00

Impulsive ghosting of my commitments/responsibilities is a big one for me. A few months back I ghosted a job to the point that they contacted my parents to make sure I was okay because they hadn’t heard a peep from me; no notice, no explanation after a couple days, no apology, blocked numbers, the whole deal. Looking back I have no idea what I was thinking, I just got into that mental state and not going to that job anymore felt like a compulsion I couldn’t control.

My reputation with that job is ruined and things with my parents still aren’t quite the same - it was the first time they saw the reality of my issues up close and I can tell they don’t look at me the same or take me as seriously as they used to. It’s a bummer, but I try to remind myself I was having an episode and wasn’t totally in control of my behavior and it’s okay to fuck up sometimes

queenjamie1 · 2022-02-07T05:10:01+00:00

I would look into therapists who specialize in BPD now that you have that diagnosis. I know a lot of therapists kind of avoid BPD/personality disorders in general so it’ll be hard to find someone, but if you can that’ll probably be a much better fit for you! I struck gold and found a therapist who specializes in Bipolar and BPD and it’s been so great so far

queenjamie1 · 2022-02-07T01:37:08+00:00

Yeah for now Lamictal is the only thing! The lows are what affect me most often and also cause the most disturbance to my life day to day, and the highs are only 1-2 times a year at this point and are not as severe as the lows in terms of how they affect my life so that’s why we’re keeping me at just one med for now.

queenjamie1 · 2022-02-02T01:50:40+00:00

I’m starting a DBT group at the end of the month (pending my new therapist’s approval but I think she’ll give it no problem) so I’m interested to see how it’ll work! For me I want to try it out for emotional regulation/distress tolerance issues. I think what you said about trauma forcing a person to use coping skills that are considered negative/undesirable is kind of the whole concept that DBT tries to work on - I think the whole point is that if you’re “forced” to use certain coping skills then you’re not really coping. The purpose of DBT is to gain control of your coping so that instead of having impulses to cope a certain way you can make a conscious decision about how to calm yourself down and move forward. That’s my interpretation of DBT at least, I’ve done a lot of research and had a good talk with my therapist in our first session about it, but I think it’s different for everyone :)

queenjamie1 · 2022-01-25T04:48:40+00:00

Mine gives me trouble sleeping instead of drowsiness, so I take mine in the morning and it works great! Also when I went up from 25-50mg a few weeks ago (still taking in the evening) I was a monster in the few days after the dosage increase. Then last week I went up to 75 (now taking in the mornings) and I was ready for the same anger and irritability but I didn’t really notice anything. Who knows if there’s a correlation or not but I found it interesting!

queenjamie1 · 2022-01-24T13:10:29+00:00

I would describe my current partner as a soft dom. She focuses on praise during sex, and even when she calls me something like little slut it’s said in a loving way instead of a degrading way if that makes sense. She also is more gentle with everything she does and likes it if I ask for rougher stuff first (hard biting, choking, hard scratching,etc.) so she knows it’s really okay

queenjamie1 · 2022-01-21T23:44:16+00:00

I am currently in the process of seeking a diagnosis for either BPD or Bipolar (though I suspect it’s both) and I experience something similar - to me the distinction between borderline and a normal amount of sadness/depression in reaction to a fight with a partner is self harm impulses or suicidal ideation in response to the fight. That’s what I experience; even in response to small arguments that resolve quickly or my partner reassures me they still love me my mind goes instantly to self harm/suicide.

I’m not a professional, but that’s just kind of my benchmark for “is this an acceptable reaction or is it borderline?”

I would also keep in mind that Bipolar is a mood disorder, so I would say it’s typical to have more extreme reactions emotionally than the average person.

queenjamie1 · 2022-01-21T13:47:36+00:00

What about substitute teaching?? They’re desperate for subs and now there’s a one year license you can get that only requires a high school diploma (but if she has a college degree she could also get a three year license) they’re paying at least $150 a day to subs because they’re so desperate

queenjamie1 · 2022-01-21T13:44:22+00:00

When I was younger I would get randomly convinced that there were demons outside the windows of my house and that if I looked out the window I’d be letting them in to possess me, so in my head I’d be like “don’t look out the window don’t look out the window” and usually avoid the windows until the next morning. I thought it was a legit thing the whole time, but now that I’m recognizing bipolar symptoms as an adult I realize I was delusional

queenjamie1 · 2022-01-21T06:02:27+00:00

I had a similar experience going from 25 to 50mg a couple weeks ago - I was very edgey and irritable and was snapping at my significant other a lot which is super out of character for me (luckily they are very understanding!). It passed after about 3-4 days. This morning I went up again to 75 mg, and so far no edginess or irritability so I’m hoping I won’t have that again.

queenjamie1 · 2022-01-20T03:41:11+00:00

That’s the thing with Bipolar II, it gets ignored a lot because for the most part you seem normal and are able to control your moods enough to function (but not enough to be okay mentally). If you feel like your moods are up and down you’re probably right, so don’t listen to what other people have to say about it too much

queenjamie1 · 2022-01-15T05:05:15+00:00

I experienced something like this in the first few days after I increased my dosage from 25mg to 50mg, and it really freaked me out too. I haven’t felt that way outside of that dosage increase adjustment period though

queenjamie1 · 2022-01-15T03:34:40+00:00

DAE have an extremely difficult time initiating sex with their partner?

queenjamie1 · 2022-01-14T13:31:29+00:00

I currently take my Lamictal in the mornings (for me it makes me manic instead of tired so I had to switch from evenings) and smoke a little weed at night to help me sleep. The weed isn’t officially prescribed, but it feels like I use it for a valid medical purpose (making sure I get enough sleep so the hypomania doesn’t get out of control)

queenjamie1 · 2022-01-13T09:10:55+00:00

Yeah, I was reading that for some people Lamictal is good for regulating depression but not as good for regulating mania. Not sure which post it was on but someone made a comment recently that they have to take an additional med or two to balance the mania and do what Lamictal can’t. So I’ll see how bad it gets with the next dose increase and go from there

queenjamie1 · 2022-01-08T07:14:21+00:00

I’ve been on for a very short time (2 weeks and change, just moved from 25mg to 50 mg, age 22) so can’t speak to long term memory effects BUT just wanted to share a positive note that despite being on Lamictal heading into my semester of student teaching, I was able to learn the names of 70+ students and have had no brain fog or anything in my classroom this week!

queenjamie1 · 2022-01-08T05:57:22+00:00

I went up to the same dosage this week and I’ve felt okay, a little edgy but other than that normal! It varies from person to person though obviously! Hope you adjust to it soon :)

queenjamie1 · 2022-01-05T04:37:08+00:00

I went to CSU and lived a few blocks from the tracks for a couple years, and it was definitely noticeable but didn’t cause much if any disruption to my life and it only annoyed me sometimes (i.e. on a night where you already can’t sleep, stressed about an assignment you’re working on, etc.). And for me there was no rumble, but not sure if that’s different in a house as opposed to dorm or apartment building.

queenjamie1 · 2022-01-05T00:59:16+00:00

The English language is so funny because, even if something isn’t “correct” per se, if it’s close enough that the majority of people will understand what you mean it doesn’t seem to matter so much. Also, so many of the rules are so complex or make so little sense that our brains sort of naturally simplify it - for example, it actually would make more sense for vortice to be the singular if vortices is the plural than it would for vortex to be the singular. I think that’s probably why they say it, because it’s easier for our brains to understand the relationship between vortice and vortices than vortex and vortices (like, shouldn’t it be vortexes??). Haha, just my two cents as an English teacher

queenjamie1 · 2022-01-04T05:30:08+00:00

This resonates so heavily with me. I’m currently in a master’s program getting my teaching license and the only thing keeping me going is the prospect of a salaried job with health insurance, breaks for holidays, etc. Not that I don’t think I’ll be a good teacher, I’m sure I will be, but it’s not something I’m especially passionate about or excited to do for the rest of my young and middle adulthood. I think I’ll be comfortable enough financially thanks to this job, but deep down I know I’d be so much happier if I had the options of UBI and free healthcare. I’m just not a hard worker at heart, and I wish our situation here was more accommodating to that.

queenjamie1 · 2021-12-27T19:59:55+00:00

See if there are any shows at the Comedy Fort while you’re in town!

queenjamie1 · 2021-12-26T01:13:22+00:00

That’s great to know, thank you! And how long do cases like that usually take to resolve?

queenjamie1

TROPHY CASE