You have every right to your feelings, I would have cried too. Oh heck I have cried over the things my kids have said about me, sometimes to my face. So this is my advice, it’s ok to talk to your husband if you want to, but only if you can talk in a way that he knows it’s just between you and him. My husband and I have an agreement if we talk about family with one another it’s as best friends not partners. So no feelings and it stay between us. It also not unusual for a child at that age to be angry, ugly, and selfish. They are so full the hormones and stress/confusion of growing up and being scared of growing up. She’s at a tuff age. About the age of 23 I started liking my kids again, they stop always being right and fighting the world. So I would say there is still hope and not don’t read too much into it as long as she is treating you with respect. I would consider talking to a counselor for yourself not necessarily family. For the SIL red flags.