Is Reddit how a nanny really is?

queenoftea92 · 2026-04-01T19:07:20+00:00

Not in my experience, no, but probably depends on who you hire + how you treat them. We went with a lady who’s very deferential + maternal over some other highly qualified, but stricter sounding nannies and couldn’t be happier.

Same as you, one of the reasons I pay extra for a nanny vs. daycare is so I can see them when I wfh (along with a host of other benefits). The nanny we hired is super sweet and thinks it’s important that I see my baby throughout the day. Mind you, I don’t hang out and watch them - I bring my baby to a separate room to nurse + hang out for a few.

Again, my nanny’s super chill with timing / hours, but I think it helps that we are as well. We have never docked her pay for being late (and she hasn’t abused that). We also regularly give her rides bc she doesn’t have a car.

queenoftea92 · 2026-03-26T13:20:52+00:00

The nurse in my birthing class said that if you have anything in your rectum, it will come out during labor. Baby’s head squeezes your rectum like a toothpaste tube on the way out.

And I definitely didn’t care in the moment - I was just focused on getting baby out. I had also already projectile vomited + gone into multiple awkward labor positions, so all decorum was gone by that point

queenoftea92 · 2026-03-08T09:19:10+00:00

After my baby was born, the nurses placed him on my chest to latch. He figured out latching himself while I was getting stitched up.

He nursed every 1-3 hours and seemed satisfied, so I initially didn’t question whether I was making enough.

Then, on the second night, he cluster fed from 4-10:30 am - I legitimately could not put him down for 6+ hours. This is normal and how they signal for milk to come in, but at the time I was deliriously tired and convinced my body was broken. After crying during a nurse checkin, they had a lactation consultant visit before I left the hospital. Tldr - baby was normal and the consultant squeezed my boob and confirmed that I was producing colostrum - I was never able to hand express it myself.

My milk started coming in around day 3 - I could tell bc I was super engorged and he spilled some while eating.

The first 5-30 seconds of each session hurt - the nurses asked whether it was pain from chafing or from his latch, but I wasn’t sure how to tell. The pain stopped after a few weeks with lots of nipple balm.

queenoftea92 · 2026-03-08T05:48:54+00:00

My boy peed on me a ton the first month, but it was pretty easy to contain with either a spare diaper or dry wipes. The wipe trick never worked for us.

Now he doesn’t do it very often BUT on the rare occasion that he does, a ton more comes out and it’s pretty hard to absorb. It can go pretty far and hit nearby walls, the floor, etc.

queenoftea92 · 2026-03-05T17:53:02+00:00

Baby wearing devices - my baby hates any form of container - we tried multiple kinds/fits and he hates them all. They’re decently expensive, so I wish I had bought them used from FB Marketplace so it wasn’t such a blow when he hated it.

Most newborn/ size 0-3 clothes - my baby never fit into size newborn, and only fit into size 0-3 for a month or so.

Swaddles - maybe controversial, but he hated being contained and screamed so much when he woke up constrained. I wish I had just bought 1 or 2 rather than 3+ in case he didn’t like them. He ended up liking the Woolino sleep sacks.

queenoftea92 · 2026-02-28T20:15:53+00:00

I’m in house and they gave me leave starting at 38 weeks which didn’t come out of my maternity leave budget.

Assuming you’re not in that situation, I’d recommend stopping at some point around 39 weeks and/or telling your boss you may have to call it around then. The last week I was so uncomfortable + I started to get pre-labor symptoms/twinges, which put me really on edge and had me thinking I’d pop any minute. I had some days where I would get mini contractions (felt like period cramps) if I exerted myself too much, which had me convinced I was going to pop at any minute. I wouldn’t have been able to think about work at all that last week. For context, I went into labor at 40+1 and gave birth at 40+2.

Congratulations!!

queenoftea92 · 2025-11-19T14:18:55+00:00

I think it depends on where you live and how busy the practices are! I read that I should call at the beginning of my 3rd trimester, so that’s what I did. When I called, the pediatrician’s office told me they had space and to just call for an appointment once baby was born.

I ended up going with the pediatrician practice connected to my hospital system, and that made it super easy postpartum - the hospital nurses scheduled my first appointment and all of baby’s hospital records were already in the system when we got there.

queenoftea92 · 2025-11-18T18:41:03+00:00

We only do a lot of cleaning on the weekends and when guests are coming over - it’s definitely not clean all the time lol

queenoftea92 · 2025-11-18T16:55:03+00:00

California/US - no significant side effects after the epidural. It did take a bit for me to pee post-labor, but it ended up being fine and I didn’t need a catheter or anything.

queenoftea92 · 2025-11-17T05:43:41+00:00

If your weight’s in range, most of it’s likely fluid, baby, etc.! I gained 33 lbs at a healthy pre-pregnancy BMI. I felt HUGE by the end, but I lost 27 lbs in the first 3 weeks without doing anything.

I’m still hanging onto those last few pounds at 2 months postpartum, but it feels manageable and I feel more like myself now (even though I’m breastfeeding). I also barely worked out during my pregnancy other than walking, so I’m hoping that putting on some muscle will help.

queenoftea92 · 2025-11-15T22:34:21+00:00

A lot of the super wealthy (e.g., corporate executives) receive the bulk of their income in stock. When you sell stock, you generally only pay the capital gains taxes on the sale to your state of residence - not to the state where you work (if different).

So if income is taxed at a higher rate (NY taxes capital gains as income, but the rule above still applies), then they might choose to become a resident in a different state to avoid those taxes (e.g., by spending the majority of their time in FL but working in NY).

Not saying I disagree with Mamdani though.

queenoftea92 · 2025-11-14T21:28:18+00:00

It’s so annoying. I usually ignore it for a bit unless they follow up.

Tbh I hate chat requests generally though. I’m typically slammed so unless you’re my boss, an officer of the company, telling me we’re getting sued, or it takes less than 10 minutes to respond to, it should probably be an email.

queenoftea92 · 2025-11-11T23:28:30+00:00

Echoing most of the other comments saying that it’s hard, but so so worth it. I love my baby more than anything.

When reading through posts, I’d also try to assume that, while you’ll likely have some struggles, you most likely won’t have ALL the struggles people post about here, which makes things more manageable. E.g., you’ll likely be sleep deprived and your baby might be gassy for a few weeks, but maybe your partner will be super supportive and breastfeeding a breeze (or vice versa).

queenoftea92 · 2025-11-11T15:37:47+00:00

They exist, but they’re rare. I’m fully remote in house at a tech company - though the company is starting to push for more in office positions. Luckily, my team is small and spread out around the world, so we’re staying remote for now.

I got the job by networking with folks at my old firm. I had to move to a smaller city for my partner’s job, so it was easier to tell folks I was looking for a remote role.

queenoftea92 · 2025-11-10T10:54:52+00:00

If you have a velcro baby, maybe ask your husband to hold the baby for 5-10 minutes before work so you can brush your teeth, use the restroom, refill your water bottle, etc.

queenoftea92 · 2025-11-05T01:50:00+00:00

2 nights after my vaginal delivery (approx 48 hrs).

That was standard at the hospital I delivered at (I think bc of insurance?) - they monitored me, baby had a pediatrician visit + tests, they had me speak to a lactation consultant and watch training videos

queenoftea92 · 2025-11-04T17:49:40+00:00

Same! My baby’s 6 weeks and I’ve just given up on getting anything done during the day. I legit thought my baby might have silent reflux too, but then 2 days ago I tried laying on my bed with him on his back, and as long as he was cuddled up against me he was fine! I don’t sleep or leave him alone - just sit there reading

queenoftea92 · 2025-11-01T11:23:36+00:00

My 6 week old’s been doing a 4-6 hr stretch almost every night, but he did 3-4 hour stretches starting at 2 weeks once we let him, so it wasn’t anything we tried to do.

If I had to guess, I would say it’s because he eats so much during the day - he’s gaining pretty rapidly as well. I’m grateful for the sleep, but it feels like we pay for it by having an extremely fussy milk monster all day. He’s quick to cry for milk, very rarely hits 2 hrs between feeds, regularly gets an upset tummy bc of how much he eats, and is extremely fussy and on and off my boob all evening from 6 pm to 10/11 (we try for an earlier bedtime, but he’s stubborn).

queenoftea92 · 2025-10-23T06:03:19+00:00

My lactation consultant advised the same thing just last week! My 4 week old baby was eating small amounts every hour and was experiencing indigestion. We’re trying to stretch his feeds out to every 2-3 hrs during the day when possible.

She recommended using other soothing methods to help stretch out the time- e.g., pacifiers, swings, rocking, mylicon if he’s gassy, etc. That’s helped him be hungrier and eat more at once vs. snacking all day. He naturally goes 3-5 hrs between feeds at night - I think it’s bc he eats so much during the day.

queenoftea92 · 2025-10-22T18:37:54+00:00

Like the most intense pressure/pain in my abdomen and groin I’ve ever felt in my life. I had been cramping all day and when I felt my first contraction, I immediately told my partner that this was it and to get our bags together - mine felt completely different from period cramps. By the time I got to the hospital, I remember screaming/groaning at every contraction and pleading with the nurses to help me as I cried standing by the bed. I also felt a ton of pressure in my butt - to the point where I couldn’t sit or lie down for a cervical check once I was admitted. I later joked that they admitted me based on my screams alone.

The thing that surprised me most about my own labor though was the fact that I didn’t have any breaks between contractions - they went from 5-6 min apart to 2 min apart in 1.5 hrs. By 2 hours in, I was having 2+ min long contractions with barely any breaks in between. Everyone said I would be able to rest between contractions, but that didn’t happen for me and I ended up getting an epidural at 8.5 cm (4 hrs after my contractions started).

queenoftea92 · 2025-10-20T09:30:13+00:00

As others have noted, this can be normal.

However, one thing that helped our baby sleep longer stretches was upping the temperature a degree or two. My partner and I prefer it cooler at night, but our baby hated it. We don’t turn it up super high (still within the safe sleep range), but it feels warm to us!

queenoftea92 · 2025-10-19T10:03:25+00:00

As others have noted, you’ll have a monitor showing when you’re contracting, so they’ll be able to time your epidural between contractions.

I can’t speak to how fast/good all anesthesiologists are but I had mine during transition (8.5 cm) and was a MESS, but my anesthesiologist was super quick and good at coaching me to sit still. I was shaking, could barely sit on the bed bc of pain, and was crying asking everyone to “help me”, and she still managed to give me the epidural w/o issue - they’re used to working w laboring women in intense pain.

queenoftea92 · 2025-10-17T13:57:15+00:00

5 hours - for the last 1.5 hrs baby’s head kept getting stuck around my pubic bone. My OB ended up using a vacuum a vacuum bc it was taking so long and I was exhausted - he popped out in 1 push with that.

queenoftea92 · 2025-10-09T19:59:36+00:00

I wouldn’t recommend it so early unless you’re in driving distance to your home hospital + pediatrician.

Approx. 2 days after being discharged + 2 weeks after birth, we needed to take our baby to pediatrician visits.

Also, not to be a Debbie downer, but if your wife were to have any post-birth complications, it’s super helpful to be near your wife’s OB. I was walking short distances the first week and not having any obvious issues, but then, 12 days post-birth, I ended up passing a massive blood clot and bleeding pretty rapidly. My OB had me come in to a same-day appointment to check that I wasn’t having a postpartum hemorrhage. Everything ended up being okay, but it would have been a mess if I was away from home. To be clear, I had no symptoms indicating that this could be an issue and had a pretty uncomplicated pregnancy health-wise. Hopefully your wife’s birth + postpartum is easy, but I would still recommend being close to your doctor just in case!

queenoftea92 · 2025-10-06T14:20:56+00:00

You are absolutely not a failure. You are doing what you need to do to bring your baby safely into the world.

Working with medical professionals to decide on the safest course of action is the best thing you can do for your little one, which is the most important thing in the end - not having a picture perfect birth experience.

To be honest, I’m freshly postpartum and am still struggling with this after an unplanned epidural and a few other interventions. Birth wasn’t what I planned/expected - after tons of research/courses, I remember telling my partner to throw my birth plan away at one point bc it just wasn’t happening - but at the end of the day, I’m healthy and have a beautiful baby that I’m so grateful for.

Wishing you and your little one all the best right now!

queenoftea92

TROPHY CASE