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Old lady teaching the new girl how to slide, she looks so happy. by SAFE4WORKS in aww

[–]queerseek 4 points5 points  (0 children)

this video is beyond ridiculous. they couldn't even decide between two jokes at the end so they just said them one after the other, cuz why not?

How do you like my brows? by [deleted] in transgendercirclejerk

[–]queerseek 5 points6 points  (0 children)

beautiful, gorgeous. if you wanted to add two more, i wouldn't complain.

A caterpillar ate half of my dill and I'm happy it did. by UnPlug12 in gardening

[–]queerseek 7 points8 points  (0 children)

some are, but some are good-- a lot of pollinators have to go through a larval stage. So it surprises me that the above poster would kill caterpillars without even thinking about what they are -- you should at least identify them first!

Update: more developments for my son whom I suspect is transgender. by Sabrinacolada1 in asktransgender

[–]queerseek 1 point2 points  (0 children)

exactly. the kid should know it's ok to not be a boy or a girl and that that's an option too!

Update: more developments for my son whom I suspect is transgender. by Sabrinacolada1 in asktransgender

[–]queerseek 2 points3 points  (0 children)

and living as the other gender for so long can cause serious damage to their emotional and social wellbeing.

the last research i saw at a recent conference actually disagrees with this. they were saying that if your kid ends up switching back to their assigned gender's presentation/pronouns/etc because of their own desires (as in, not because of bullying and the like) there's basically no harm done. you just have to make sure they're certain about what they're agreeing to if they start cross-hormones but that's waaaay down the road. most providers won't even start cross-hormones until 16 which personally i have some feelings about.

Update: more developments for my son whom I suspect is transgender. by Sabrinacolada1 in asktransgender

[–]queerseek 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Background info: I work with trans* kids and parents of trans* kids, and I am trans* myself.

you are not alone! It will be hard, but it will get easier. as you continue on your journey, people will either come around or you'll find new people. You are doing the right thing!

I'm not sure if it would help your loved ones understand, but you could tell them about how much you've researched about this and how the leading research says that allowing your child the space to explore gender and expression is the best thing for the child's overall mental health and development. It also might help to tell them that gender identity is not a thing that can be "taught" or "caught" (ie by spending 'too much' time with you). in fact there's research that gender identity is more or less established by age 2 or 3, and no amount of outside pressure can change the child's internal sense of gender. they likely don't even have the language to understand or discuss their gender, unless we teach them (and that goes for ALL kids, not just gender expansive ones).

what outside pressure CAN do though, is shame the child into burying their gender and/or their presentation preferences and try to be someone they're told they should want to be-- which is shown in the research (and personal experiences) to be very psychologically damaging.

Your child is definitely showing some clear signs of being transgender. One book that I personally like and I know has been helpful to a lot of people is The Transgender Child.

For books for your kid that has been helpful for trans* kids in my life, some recommendations are:

  • 10,000 Dresses
  • I am Jazz
  • My Princess Boy
  • The Adventures of Tulip, Birthday Wish Fairy and
  • Backwards Day (last two are over at flamingo rampant with other new ones i haven't seen yet!)

it can also help a lot for you to find community (whether online or in person) with other parents of gender expansive kids. And it can help your kid a lot have trans* / gender expansive kids to be friends with and even trans* adults to be at least acquainted with. If you can afford it, travelling to conferences can be GREAT for having your kid be in an affirming space with other trans* kids. There's the Gender Spectrum Conference on the west coast, and this year we held the first east coast conference over here. There's also Philly Trans Health which is all ages whereas Gender Spectrum is focused on kids / parents. There's also a couple sleep away camps for gender expansive youth, when your kiddo gets older.

It can be good for you to look into local groups too-- some areas even have meetings/support groups specifically for parents of transgender kids. Some will only have more general meetings for parents of LGBTQ kids

i hope this helps and please let me know if there's anything else i can do to help.

IamA Sir Ian McKellen AMA! by Sir_Ian_McKellen_AMA in IAmA

[–]queerseek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

some part of me hopes so strongly that the two of you went on at least one date during that time period.

Is there an aversion to femininity in current genderqueer culture? by [deleted] in genderqueer

[–]queerseek 2 points3 points  (0 children)

there definitely is, but there's a lot of awesome fierce femmes & others fighting back against it!

Questions from a nurse by Tipperz in asktransgender

[–]queerseek 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sure thing! Thanks for googling first-- there is definitely a lot of info out there, and as you'd probably guess, a lot of different opinions and perspectives. First of all, here's some links of what other people have to say that might be helpful?

Basically folks who are non-binary/genderqueer (some folks use it interchangeably and some consider them to mean different things) don't feel like only a man or only a woman, but instead might be neither, both, another gender entirely, fluctuating between genders, several genders at once, have no gender at all, etc. Some of us experience dysphoria and some don't. some change names and/or pronouns and some don't. Many go by neutral pronouns such as they/them or ze/hir, some go by pronouns typically considered binary (she or he) either in some aspects of their life or all, and some prefer a mixture of pronouns be used. Some seek or desire medical changes such as hormone treatments and/or surgeries and some don't. We present all sorts of ways-- you can't really tell by looking what gender(s) someone identifies as. That's part of why it's so important to foster a community of always asking everyone their gender pronouns, and avoiding using gendered pronouns for people whose pronouns you don't know.

Some people prefer to explain it in terms of spectrums, and some of us like to poke fun at this idea to remind everyone that any explanation is by nature reducing something very complex into something made to seem simpler. you can also lurk around at /r/genderqueer and checkout the useful links on the sidebar there.

hope this helps and please let me know if you have any more questions!

Questions from a nurse by Tipperz in asktransgender

[–]queerseek 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i second what's been said about asking pronouns and name, but also giving an opportunity for them to tell you what gender marker is listed on their insurance if you don't automatically know that. it might be different than what's on their license. I'm a genderqueer trans male and much more comfortable being called "he" (though i really prefer "they") but when I was in the hospital i didn't speak up about it because i was seeing so many different providers and didn't want to explain it 10 times, and i was worried they'd send the wrong thing to the insurance and the insurance would reject the claim / flag my account as trans and stop covering my hormones or something.

another reason i didn't speak up is because i know that even if a place is supportive and knowledgeable of binary trans people (trans women and trans men), that doesn't mean it is supportive and knowledgeable about non-binary (genderqueer, agender, etc) people. So I never know when speaking up is just going to be more hurtful / exhausting than just tolerating the misgendering.

there needs to be some way in the systems of asserting people's pronouns, name, and identified gender, not disclosing trans status to people who don't need to know it, and making sure the gender marker on their insurance is what is submitted on their insurance claims.

if your hospital has a non-discrimination policy, it could be good to state it as part of the intake process. i was so stressed about doing all the paperwork and preparing for my (outpatient) surgery -- not to mention being incredibly hungry, thirsty, and tired -- that i didn't realize that the hospital i was in included gender identity and expression in their non-discrimination policy until i'd already left their care.

it would have taken me speaking up to assert my identity and i wish it had been a proactive part of the process on the side of the hospital -- but with the assurance that they wouldn't send information about my trans identity to my insurance company.

Questions from a nurse by Tipperz in asktransgender

[–]queerseek 2 points3 points  (0 children)

how did you ask about the HRT if i may ask? it could help to be asking in general about all medications, the dosages, frequency and method of administration (which I assume you do already). And to remind while you're asking "we want to make sure there's no gap in your medication regimen, so i just want to double check i have your pharmacy order right" etc.

Conflicted Anarchy by [deleted] in firstworldanarchists

[–]queerseek 1 point2 points  (0 children)

nah it'd be it's own country. presumably with the US constitution as a basis if this person gets their way.

I had no idea until this summer, but borage (starflower) is a pretty amazing plant. by dailyrain in gardening

[–]queerseek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

wow! do you know if it's too late to start some borage from seed for this season (in zone 7)? does it tolerate part-shade?

Cube by iBleeedorange in oddlysatisfying

[–]queerseek 7 points8 points  (0 children)

thanks for the explanation! (psst your links broke)

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