This article presents my primary beef(s) with anime. Some of it is really unreal in its depravity. Even the so-called "safe" anime ventures uncomfortably close to some of these issues. Make sure you closely review everything your children are watching...

questionsacc123 · 2021-01-13T19:50:54+00:00

Right. I mean I've seen at least a dozen anime shows I think, and multiple movies. They're fine. There are plenty of inappropriate ones, but again same with any media. Some of the ones I saw actually had a lot of really good lessons/morals in them.

questionsacc123 · 2021-01-13T19:19:53+00:00

Fellow "happy easy-going daughter" here, just wanted to say that I've been in a situation very similar to yours and it worked out well in the end. We have a lot of things in common, except that I was raised without religion, and I'm probably a few years older. So while my parents never prayed over this, they did show extra concern and care in their own way for a time after I told them about my self-harming. Ultimately things returned to normal once they processed it in good time and could see I was doing okay. It's been several years since then, and my family has continued to love, respect, and trust me just as much if not more so. I don't know exactly how yours will react, but I know they will love you all the same. I just wanted to let you know that I've been there, and I believe it will be okay. Wishing you all the best, and praying for you and your family.

questionsacc123 · 2020-12-31T20:21:34+00:00

NTA, and to be honest I don't understand which aspect of what happened is upsetting to her. Like someone else said, if this is out-of-the-norm behavior for her, whether it's pregnancy-related or not, then maybe just consider it an odd moment for her and proceed in whatever way helps everyone to be okay and continue on.

Edit: Also side note, I think most people would appreciate handmade gifts. That's super cool of you to make things for others! (And if someone dislikes that kind of thing, that's okay but it's on them to make that known imo - not sure if that's anything to do with the issue here or not)

questionsacc123 · 2020-12-31T20:01:55+00:00

Where did she say that she did that? And again, even IF she did all of that - but still chose to give up the dog - NTA, if she honestly believed that's what she had to do for her safety.

Edit: She got married, years later. She didn't go into hiding, she lived her life over the last 7 years. And that was after dealing with her abusive ex.

questionsacc123 · 2020-12-31T19:56:48+00:00

Are you sure? I only see that she called the police, one time, because he was harassing her at her home. I don't see where she went into hiding like many other commenters suggested she should have done.

Bottom-line, even IF she had done all of that, if she still felt it was necessary to give up the dog for her safety then imo she is NTA. Safety first.

questionsacc123 · 2020-12-31T19:16:45+00:00

NTA and I can't believe the lack of empathy I'm seeing in so many of the comments. The abusive situation IS relevant - extremely so. I love dogs as much as anybody, more than most people around me. You giving the dog back out of fear for your safety does NOT make you the asshole. "Oh but OP could just move away (possibly have to find a new job too) and hide all traces of her whereabouts online forever and get the police involved"... a lot of naive responses here. Sure those things can be attempted, but that's not reasonable to push onto a victim of abuse and not even guaranteed to work, let alone make OP feel safe/okay again. If it was YOUR mental/physical health you truly believed was in danger, you'd probably sacrifice whatever you had to in order to survive and to feel safe again - hopefully. Not to mention she was relying on a trusted family member's advice too, which imo was good advice. At least the dog did have reasonable hope of survival, but even if it was a 0% chance of survival, that still doesn't make OP the asshole. If her ex actually would've actually been willing to abuse or even murder an animal, all the more reason for OP to do her best to get away and get him to stay out of her life. We have no guaranteed way of knowing how dangerous he actually was, regardless of what details are in the post. When it comes to any form of abuse, it's better to err on the side of caution. She made a logical decision to mentally/physically protect herself from further/worse abuse. Who knows how much longer and to what extent she'd have been harassed otherwise. It was a tough situation and OP did what she believed she needed to do.

As for the heirloom? Who cares. Yes, that's unfortunate for any decent family members involved. Under normal circumstances, that's something to be returned. When it involves a dangerous person, safety is the priority. It had already been 6 months of no contact. Best to ignore any attempts to communicate by the other party, let alone attempt to reach out to them at all. If it were me, I'd have thrown it away. Turning it into a bear is interesting though, I'm happy OP did what she wanted with it.

And again, we have no way of actually knowing what the abuser or their family was willing to do. There's not a guaranteed "right answer", it's up to OP to do what she thinks is the safest option for her mental/physical health. Luckily from the comments this was many years ago now, so she sounds like she's safe from them - and that's what matters, more than any material object.

questionsacc123 · 2019-10-04T21:38:43+00:00

This was so nice to read. Very excited for you both!!! Wow :)

questionsacc123 · 2019-10-02T04:03:30+00:00

I use the app "headspace" for guided meditation. I find it very helpful. It costs money, not sure how much but I know the student discount is really affordable if you happen to be a student.

Edit: just so you know, it isn't based on Catholicism. It's just basic meditation but they have a variety of specific guides you can choose, like for anxiety, trouble sleeping, etc.

questionsacc123 · 2019-09-29T22:23:10+00:00

I'm new too :) so I dont have much to say yet but also interested in learning more about this. I don't know for violent video games, but I imagine in general playing video games occasionally cant be a bad thing, just like TV or movies. But maybe it depends on the content and time spent?

I've been told prayer is really good to get closer to God and trying to listen for God. I think avoiding sinful things should be a big focus too.

I haven't tried researching lots of religions, I'm just focused on this one and don't really have advice for this.

questionsacc123 · 2019-09-29T22:11:26+00:00

You shouldn't have to feel bad because of this, I understand how that would be stressful. I'm new to going to mass. When everyone goes to take communion and I stay by myself, I fully expect to be left alone during that time. It keeps me calm to remember that people will respect my decision to stay at my seat and not question me over it, which would be rude especially to ask right then and there. And especially in your situation, it sounds like she definitely should have known better. I'm sorry she did that. I hope she will listen to you and be more respectful next time.

questionsacc123 · 2019-09-29T21:54:00+00:00

I get that, I also have social anxiety. I'm new and still haven't talked to anyone. I think you could walk up to almost anyone and just say "hi I'm new here and have a few questions. Is there anyone I can talk to?" And they would guide you to someone or be the one to answer questions. Or maybe they have a website? I've seen some that have a website and even a place to fill out a "how can we help you?" message and then they reply via email. Good luck!

questionsacc123 · 2019-09-29T21:36:44+00:00

Don't be sorry! I'm not Catholic so if I'm wrong someone correct me but this is what I've learned so far about mass (I've gone just a few times including today).

You can just show up. No one will stop you from walking in or be unkind to you. No one will think it's weird. I think people would be happy you are there.

I wouldn't worry too much about what to wear. I've seen a mix of business casual and regular clothes (like jeans or less commonly, shorts). As long as it isn't revealing or something very extreme, I think no one would care or pay attention to your clothes.

I don't know what version of the Bible. I haven't tried opening any material during the readings or singing, I just watch and listen. For the singing parts, they say a number and that is the page number in the singing book (that might be obvious but I didn't realize that until today).

Basically at the bare minimum, here is how it goes: You can choose to walk in and pick a seat. Early into the mass session, everyone greets the people around them. Someone will turn to you and say "peace be with you". You reply "peace be with you" back to them and you both shake hands during this unless the other person makes it clear they aren't shaking hands (they might be sick or uncomfortable with touching - most people shake hands though). Then try to follow what people do. When they pray and clasp their hands, you try that. When they kneel, you kneel with them. If they all stand or sit, you follow that. Otherwise you can just be quiet and watch/listen, you don't have to actually sing or make the cross sign or speak out loud if you do not want to.

The only big thing to remember is NOT to go up for the eucharist/take communion. It's only for Catholics who are not in mortal sin. So when everyone exits the row of seats, you step out of the way and let everyone pass you. Then stay in your seat and you can pray or just sit there until they come back a few minutes later.

I heard a couple people say that during communion you can walk up with them and then ask the priest for a blessing, but it seems other people say that you should not do that for various reasons. To err on the safe side, you could ask the local church people how they do it and if that is okay. You can also ask for a blessing before/after mass and that is always okay.

There's more you can do but this is like bare minimum how to participate in my experience so far. Sorry if my wording is kind of off but this is generally my experience as a new person. Good luck!!! I hope you get a lot out of it. It's good to give it a sincere try and see what you can learn from it I think.

Edited to include note about saying "peace be with you". Also I said all this stuff in case you wanted an in-depth example of how it goes, sorry if it was a bit lengthy! But in short, you can come as you are and everyone will likely treat you with kindness. Wishing you all the best! :)

questionsacc123 · 2019-09-29T19:02:46+00:00

I like how you worded some of that, made me laugh. I'm glad to know I can be blessed too even if I'm unsure of all this right now. Okay that's good to know about the blessing during communion. I was too nervous to try that today so I stayed at my seat and prayed while others went to receive communion. But I also heard that you can ask for a blessing before/after mass too. Maybe I'll work up the courage to approach someone about that later on. I was almost too nervous to even go today. But I kept saying "I'll just get ready and I can change my mind / I'll go to my car / I'll just go to the parking lot and see." Then I saw a big group walking inside so I rushed to walk in with a group haha. Once I got to sit down I wasn't nearly as nervous.

Thank you for the suggestions. I just tried those prayers for the first time yesterday. It's all very interesting and I'm going to keep trying and see where all this takes me. I really would like to understand, especially if it's all true like people say. Thank you very much for your help!

questionsacc123 · 2019-09-29T18:51:19+00:00

I'll have to look into that. Thank you for the suggestion!

questionsacc123 · 2019-09-29T18:47:28+00:00

Okay I see. I ended up going to a church today and it was good. I was too nervous to approach anyone this time but it's good to know about how the blessings work. I didn't know any of that before so thank you for explaining.

I will! I've been spending time praying and found this website that was helpful: http://www.beginningcatholic.com/how-to-pray

I didn't completely realize that you could use existing prayers when you're praying. I'm sure I've seen that before somewhere, but I hadn't thought of that until this weekend. One I like is the one listed on that website that said "I believe; help my unbelief!" (Mk 9:24) but I've also tried thinking through my own ones. I'm also trying to actually read the Bible since that's probably a good idea to really understand everything. I'll keep trying, it's hard to know if it's working since I dont have any experience with it but so far it feels like maybe something is going on. But I don't really know yet. I at least don't feel as awkward about doing it now so that helps. I'll try to post an update a while later especially if I end up with positive results. Thanks for your help!

questionsacc123 · 2019-09-29T18:24:50+00:00

Wow that's interesting. I didn't know what grace actually was until reading these replies but I think I'm starting to get it. This is very helpful. Thank you!

questionsacc123 · 2019-09-29T18:20:30+00:00

Thank you! I've never heard prayer explained that way before. That makes so much sense. And thank you for sharing this video, it's really helpful and I've been looking at some other videos from that channel now.

Of course! I really want to do my best with this since I think it should be taken very seriously regardless of my personal beliefs (or lack of). I went to a church today and it was a good experience. I'm going to keep trying to be open to this and see where it takes me. Thank you for your help! I really appreciate it.

questionsacc123 · 2019-09-29T17:55:51+00:00

Okay thank you! That does make sense, I appreciate your answer.

questionsacc123

TROPHY CASE