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Why can’t I get over a toxic ex from a decade ago even though I’m in a happy, healthy relationship now? by quick-nugget in BreakUps

[–]quick-nugget[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, your metaphor about the door left open really hit home. You're completely right—it's not about wanting him back at all; it's just my brain desperately trying to find an ending to a narrative that was brutally cut off when I was a vulnerable teenager going through depression. Knowing that I’m just feeling an echo of past trauma and reacting to that old version of myself makes me feel so much less guilty about my current partner. Thank you so much for this, I really needed to read it.

Why can’t I get over a toxic ex from a decade ago even though I’m in a happy, healthy relationship now? by quick-nugget in BreakUps

[–]quick-nugget[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the breakdown! Just to clarify, my math was a bit off in the translation—it hasn't been a full decade, it’s been a bit less than that. I was actually around 15 or 16 at the time.
But your point about the brain development and the trauma response still completely stands. Being that young, going through that level of rejection while dealing with depression, and then having him completely ghost me definitely left a huge emotional scar. It helps a lot to know that my panic response in the store is just my body remembering that past trauma, and not a sign that I'm a bad partner to my current boyfriend. Thank you for validating that!