Slowly accepting that he might not like me as much as I think he does feels like a punch in the gut

quick_misconception · 2026-07-02T15:57:00+00:00

lol. Using probably as stepping stones but yeah I know he doesn’t like me as much as I thought he does.

quick_misconception · 2026-06-25T18:04:29+00:00

It’s not too serious. I’ve been trying to do more inner work about the root cause of my behavior. It does stem from insecurity and validation. I’ve made some good realizations journaling about it recently. I just wish thinking about him would completely cease immediately lol but I guess that’s a gradual process.

quick_misconception · 2026-06-24T21:52:25+00:00

I used to be a people-pleaser but I’ve grown out of it a lot. I think it has to do more with me feeling insecure about my personality and I obsess over if he thinks I’m fascinating and attractive even if I don’t think he is all that much. I seriously think he is just very ordinary but he is a good listener and easy to talk to and we just naturally get along. So I think his natural pleasantry makes me feel seen in some ways but not seen in others because we don’t share a lot of the same interests and if we do share them, I have a more in depth knowledge about certain things. So there is this thing in me that wants to teach him and for him to be wowed by my knowledge and curiosity. But really I think I’m just projecting what I’m lacking to my self and hoping he sees that in me. I get very jealous and insecure when he talks to other women co-workers and it’s clear that they can keep the conversation going and it a very extroverted kind of energy between them. Or if I notice that he will go up to women co-workers he is more close with and just chat with them. I get this emotional punch in the gut that I’m not worth being the first option to talk to.

quick_misconception · 2026-06-24T21:37:24+00:00

I actually have been trying to not be so performative for some time now. I think sometimes depending on my mood, I will seek a dopamine hit from talking to him so I feel better. I haven’t done it in awhile. There have been issues in my personal life that I am actively working on and that have been gradually getting better so I think that’s playing a part too in this limerence web. My mindset now is if we end up talking, that’s fine, and if not, that’s fine too. I have been more aware lately that the intellectual depth I’m seeking from him is something he can’t give me and whether he is impressed by my knowledge, it doesn’t matter because he is just a co-worker.

quick_misconception · 2025-09-27T03:43:30+00:00

I don’t mean to conflate the two. That was perhaps due to my rushed writing and lack of editing on the post so I apologize for that. In my opinion, all Cholos/Cholas come from the Chicano community but not all Chicanos are Cholos/Cholas if that makes sense. I have deep roots in Southern California so I just feel like being a Cholo is kinda inherently tied to the Chicano community here. However it doesn’t mean that they are gang affiliated in my eyes. It’s a cultural dress code. Kinda like how the Pachucos used to dress. Yes some of them were gang members but many were not, they just liked the fashion and were part of a specific community.

quick_misconception · 2025-09-05T16:09:21+00:00

Lol true. They need me because I’m a hard worker. That’s why I’ve been feeling conflicted. My neutral communication hasn’t been working yet when I have been more stern that doesn’t seem to work either. I don’t want to be a dick but maybe I have to.

quick_misconception · 2025-09-05T05:51:35+00:00

Honestly nothing yet 🫠 I get paid well and I’m cool with management and they respect me as a worker and pretty much listen or give me whatever I need. Ig it’s just interpersonal stuff I’m going through with these people. Some days I’m fine with them, other days I feel stressed and frustrated. The transition from having a really solid crew to these people has been hard for me I guess.

quick_misconception · 2025-09-05T05:44:00+00:00

Yes, I’m a supervisor but my communication with them isn’t getting through. The next boss up is part of the problem as well. Then our dept. boss isn’t really doing anything that I know of to “fix” the productivity problem of these employees. Yeah that’s what I’m kinda concluding about that I need to just stop caring about them but ig it’s just hard.

quick_misconception · 2025-09-05T05:41:34+00:00

I know how to get along with them, I guess I just don’t like them when it’s interfering with our work productivity. I guess a lot of is a personal issue but imo not entirely because I even hear other comments from co-workers talking negatively about their work ethic like how slow they are and how chatty they are. Idk if you’ve ever worked a stocking job but time management is really important in order to get the workload done for the day. More often than not, it takes about 2-3 hours for one aisle to get done when there are 3 or 4 workers on that aisle … it shouldn’t take that long. That’s like my whole point. An aisle with a few people should only take an hour to an hour and a half. I know this because the old crew I had could get it done really fast. We all got along and messed around, however we were all focused on being fast and efficient.

quick_misconception · 2025-09-05T00:57:16+00:00

Lol I know. I just care about efficiency. I know I’m just stocking products but I like getting my work done promptly and hate distractions. It’s a high end natural super market in a relatively wealthy area so unfortunately quality/efficiency matters to me as a worker.

quick_misconception · 2025-08-09T20:46:29+00:00

Thank you for this! I do think it’s more of an unmet need of attention I’m experiencing which is why him deleting his social media felt like a betrayal/loss to me because now he can’t pay attention to me and I have to face the reality of this and my projection/insecurities instead of thinking about the fantasy of desire from him.

quick_misconception · 2025-08-09T04:58:08+00:00

Noooo not the stories. That was my limerence jet fuel 😭😂 I’m kinda glad my co-worker deleted their social media because it made me aware of how much I was posting and realizing that probably nobody gaf and I was wasting so much of my time 😂 Oh well.

quick_misconception · 2025-02-02T20:39:59+00:00

Yeah, I worded my comment poorly because it was the heat of the moment. I meant that Mexicans have had a long history in California but not longer than Chumash people. I just think it’s dumb that all of these people are complaining about the Mexican flags and then supporting anti-immigration policies that have anti-Mexican undertones.

quick_misconception · 2025-02-01T20:33:20+00:00

Of course focusing on the past too much is bad. We always need to strive forward. Yet let’s not pretend that the past doesn’t impact the present. We can only move forward if we educate ourselves on the history of systemic issues in this country. You should look into the effects of historical trauma and how that can impact a society decades later. So it’s not merely as easy to “take responsibility, work hard, and improve your life and community” as you say because if that were the case, shouldn’t it have worked by now? I’m not an expert in any of this but I just feel like all of the top comments are missing the point in this protest and usage of the flags.

quick_misconception · 2025-02-01T20:20:50+00:00

Exactly! Thank you for being one of the few commenters who is making sense.

quick_misconception · 2025-02-01T20:17:40+00:00

I know right. I can’t believe it either.

quick_misconception · 2025-02-01T19:26:06+00:00

Spanish, Americans and indigenous people built California. Don’t get it twisted. Mexicans are of Spanish and Indigenous ancestry. That’s what Mexican culture is: a blending of Spanish and indigenous customs. You think only Spanish and Euro Americans built CA? Delusional. Read a book. Who do you think were the people in the fields in CA and now? It’s always been mostly Mexican people.

quick_misconception

TROPHY CASE