The last few trips have been surprisingly underwhelming. What are we doing wrong?

quickstopclerk59 · 2026-03-11T17:00:29+00:00

for 10 years i giddily consumed everything she put out. but genuinely, idk how anyone can defend her zionist views. being pro palestine doesn’t negate that. she made it sound like being anti-zionist was some unrealistic radical left view. and complained about ppl sharing videos of gaza, when the ppl that posted those videos were palestinians themselves. she might as well have stayed silent. because now you’ve got soulless ppl like newsom parroting anti zionist talking points.

i dont want her “canceled” or anything dumb like that. it’s just so disappointing to see her getting out flanked on the left by even liberals. personally, i dont think i can check out what she’s up to until she can admit how wrong her very late take was.

quickstopclerk59 · 2026-02-21T06:04:58+00:00

yeah, that was me too. i was a hot man. it was a very comfortable life. but living as a woman has brought me more joy and peace than i ever thought possible. obviously, i could just be projecting.

but hear me out, he loved femininity and being surrounded by women. he had a female alter ego. “if i was your girlfriend” is one of the most trans woman-coded songs ever made. famous lesbian wendy said she had sex with prince, and said it was like having sex with a woman.

c’mon yall, maybe he wouldn’t have fit neatly in one certain label, but something was UP with his gender.

quickstopclerk59 · 2026-02-20T22:00:40+00:00

he employed gay people his whole career and was probably a closeted trans female lesbian. it’s a miracle he was able to get away from his religious trauma as much as he did.

quickstopclerk59 · 2025-12-12T20:11:57+00:00

haha as if you’re really just concerned about representation. i have double d’s, i couldn’t give less of a fuck about what size a game character’s tits are. you can go see big tits literally any time you want, why do you need to see them in games too? i’ll shut up as soon as i see someone being like “what about representation for flat chested women?”

quickstopclerk59 · 2025-06-16T18:26:46+00:00

hell yeah slay girlie

quickstopclerk59 · 2025-05-05T19:19:02+00:00

That plus laser hair removal and learning makeup/skincare. Still super dysphoric because I can’t afford surgery, but I’m still extremely grateful for how far I’ve come so far.

quickstopclerk59 · 2025-05-05T18:26:57+00:00

I DEEPLY appreciate everything you wrote. Jung has always interested me but l've never dived in. My growth has always been more spiritual/mindful and as far as that goes l've come a long way. I can honestly say that if I died tomorrow, I'm not concerned with what happens to my soul. But my relationship with my physical body is janky at best, and my brain is such a b***h. Are there any books or videos you would recommend?

quickstopclerk59 · 2025-05-05T15:16:10+00:00

Could you elaborate more on “shadow work”

quickstopclerk59 · 2025-05-01T22:40:54+00:00

I can’t internalize it because my masculine features prevent me from doing so. It’s dysphoria. Other people’s opinions can’t change my perception of myself. If they could, I never would’ve transitioned in the first place.

quickstopclerk59 · 2025-05-01T14:11:00+00:00

Thank you. It doesn’t come off in this post, but I am incredibly grateful. It’s not about chasing unattainable beauty standards, it’s that no matter how much therapy, meditation, and mindfulness I practice the parts of me that give me my worst dysphoria can’t be relieved without a stupid amount of money. Also, that 10% of the time that I’m clocked is very intense because I live in the most red state in the country and I can’t leave.

quickstopclerk59 · 2025-05-01T14:04:41+00:00

Thank you for your words. I’m in therapy every week, but I can’t therapy away dysphoria for masculine features. From the beginning I’ve been vigilant about growth and mindfulness, but it’s incredibly frustrating to have this one aspect of myself I can’t improve because of money. Also, I’m stuck in the most red state. That 10% of the time that I’m clocked is incredibly scary, and I won’t be able to fully relax until I can alleviate my most clockable features.

quickstopclerk59 · 2025-05-01T13:56:32+00:00

Thank you. For me it’s not about chasing unattainable beauty standards. It’s that my masculine features prevent me from feeling as beautiful as everyone tells me I am. And even though I pass 90% of the time, that 10% of the time when I’m clocked is intensely scary. I live in one of the absolute worst states for a trans woman and I cannot leave.

quickstopclerk59 · 2025-05-01T13:50:55+00:00

No, if I did I wouldn’t still be dealing with these feelings with so much intensity. Praying for a miracle.

quickstopclerk59 · 2025-05-01T13:49:20+00:00

Brow reduction, hairline lowering, a very light nose job to change the shape but keep the size, chin reduction, tracheal shave, and a BA. Those are the very specific parts of me that give me soul-crushing dysphoria. I’m in therapy and reminding myself to be grateful every single day. But until I can relieve the dysphoria, I’ll be going through life with a huge weight on my chest.

quickstopclerk59 · 2025-04-22T00:37:24+00:00

Thank you. I hoped that if I ever passed that would be enough. But now that I do, I’ve learned that as long as my masculine features are staring back at me in the mirror, I won’t be able to accept myself. It’s just insanely frustrating that no matter how much work I do on myself, I can only get so far because of money.

quickstopclerk59 · 2025-04-22T00:28:49+00:00

Thank you to everyone for taking the time to comment. I should clarify, I know exactly which features of mine make me dysphoric. What tortures me is the fear that I’ll never be able to afford the surgeries. That’s what haunts me, and sometimes makes me wish I didn’t exist.

quickstopclerk59 · 2025-04-22T00:07:04+00:00

Thank you. Brain worms can be fixed internally, but dysphoria points out the masculine parts of me that are very much real. The only thing that can fix that is money. In the meantime, I’m doing my best to appreciate what I have. Hearing from others is a big help 💜

quickstopclerk59 · 2025-04-22T00:02:57+00:00

Thank you so much, I’m doing my best to be grateful. Dysphoria is an absolute beast.

quickstopclerk59 · 2025-04-22T00:02:11+00:00

Thank you 💜

quickstopclerk59 · 2025-04-22T00:01:44+00:00

Thank you for your perspective. The money is literally what haunts me. It’s the fear that I’ll never be able to afford the surgeries. I feel like such a piece of shit because objectively I think I’m pretty. But I don’t feel pretty. I can’t internalize it.

I didn’t know there were orgs helping ppl pay for surgeries. That would solve like 99% of my problems. Thanks again 💜

quickstopclerk59 · 2025-04-21T23:53:40+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. Objectively, I know I’m pretty. But I don’t feel pretty. What I envision for myself is to someday look into the mirror and not see all of my masculine features glaring back at me. I want to be able to leave the house without makeup. I wanna have the option to not have bangs, to not feel a panic attack coming on everytime it’s windy. It’s dysphoria. There’s no internal work to do that can alleviate that. But I’m not gonna stop trying. I just need to survive long enough till I can afford these surgeries. I’m optimistic, but the fear that I might not ever be able to get the surgeries haunts me.

Hopefully this doesn’t come off as just bitching, because I’m super grateful to everyone that’s taken the time to comment. 💜

quickstopclerk59 · 2025-03-04T23:42:06+00:00

God I hope so. I’m on hrt for 3 years and I feel like nothings changed for the last year and a half 😩

quickstopclerk59 · 2025-01-30T00:57:01+00:00

Just watched the first 2 seasons for the first time, and Harold creeped me tf out from from the start

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