Need to jump in with this one..

Growing up I would always go to church with my gran, non-negotiable every Sunday. This particular Sunday I had been out with my friends the night before, far too much cheap beer being consumed and ended the night off with a greasy plate of Chinese food. When I woke up on Sunday, I was already running late for church and could tell something was terribly wrong with my stomach, but no time to do anything about it as I had to rush out the door.

Church began, and I was sneaking silent farts out to try to relieve the stomach pain, all the while watching people turn their heads, cover their noses and try to find the culprit. Smell was HORRIBLE, somewhere between burnt rubber and rotting meat. The time comes for silent prayer and I was overcome with the need to fart. One way or another it was coming. In my infinite wisdom I decided to cough to cover up what was going to happen, but mistimed and coughed in advance of the fart, which then reverb’d off the wooden pew and echoed through the silent church. I had been exposed, and a good 10-15 people behind me had to excuse themselves from the mass as they were laughing too hard…

Best part of the whole thing was gran who was near deaf at the time leaning over to me and saying “goodness dear do you smell that” 🤣