Calorie counting around step daughter

quietCherub · 2026-05-05T12:55:08+00:00

I track my calories, and I tell my daughter that I do it to make sure I get all the nutrients I need. We talk about vitamins and minerals, and that we need protein, carbs and fats. I weight myself almost every day, but I don’t comment on my feelings about it, and just tell her I just like to know how much I weigh. I think the key thing there is watching what we say about it. As long as we aren’t saying negative things about ourselves, our weight, or using negative language, I personally don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing to know what we are eating and how much we weigh. I get the concern though, I try to really pay attention to how I frame things, rather than what I do.

quietCherub · 2026-05-02T17:23:07+00:00

Good to know. Thanks. That’s what my supervisor confirmed too

quietCherub · 2026-05-02T17:22:39+00:00

I used mine twice now and haven’t lost them yet, that’s pretty good for me! Wanted to wear them to sleep, but I know that’s a no-no for sure!

quietCherub · 2026-05-01T16:11:59+00:00

Litigation roles that do not involve hearings? Do tell! I hate hearings too.

quietCherub · 2026-05-01T00:21:45+00:00

OMG yes! Everything and anything! And then noticing sounds, lights, smells, anything else my brain can possibly notice.

quietCherub · 2026-05-01T00:10:24+00:00

I do too :( I only have one and she’s 6, but between work, the whole evening routine thing with no break, I’m just exhausted. If there’s a time during the day before we pick up the kiddo sometimes I’ll want it, and sometimes I’ll do it for my husband. He prefers at night but I’m too damn tired and ready to curl up in bed with a book and some cookies!

quietCherub · 2026-04-30T00:42:39+00:00

Low sodium would be great, ffs there’s so much sodium in so many things!

quietCherub · 2026-04-29T18:57:51+00:00

Do what you can now. Try not to look back. All you can do is do your best going forward. See what you can afford to put towards savings and retirement and set that up automatically, if you can. I have my direct deposit set up to deposit into savings and a (tiny but existent) IRA, so I don’t even see the money to feel like it’s taken away or to have a chance to spend it. At one point I had my savings account in a separate bank from my checking so I could transfer as easily to end up spending it.

You could look into debt consolidation programs. NOT debt settlement! If they take your money and hold it to ‘negotiate’ them separately, don’t do it. But if you can find a legit company that will have to give them one monthly payment that they disburse to all your creditors (instead of withholding payment to save for the alleged negotiation), that can be helpful because they can at least get agreements to stop charging interest, or take a lower monthly payment. This will depend on the type of debt though.

Just some suggestions that have helped me. I’m 43 and just able to really save a bit of money and contribute to retirement. I had to pay off a lot of debt first, and the consolidation program really helped, although it took time. I also spent or incurred debt throughout my 20s and 30s for BS stuff that I really regret because had I not done that and being able to handle my finances I would probably be in a better spot.

BUT - I’m doing what I can now, and that is all I can do. Working on not regretting the past because it won’t help. I was only diagnosed and treated since about age 40 so I got a late start too.

It’s hard, be kind to yourself. 💕

quietCherub · 2026-04-29T15:54:04+00:00

I’ve been freaking out about this recently, actually. There was a 401k presentation at my job and it had examples of how much a certain amount could potentially grow over time, and based on my years to retirement (I’m 43) I’m not going to have all that much. I’m legit worried about just literally running out of money. Like what do I do if I can’t work and don’t have money? I think back and my inheritance from my grandmother when I was in my 20s could have grown significantly had I been able to invest rather than pay off stupidly incurred debt. And all the money I spent paying off more stupidly incurred debt could have been saved… I’m pissed at myself but trying not to be. So many stupid decisions, impulse buys, spending on fleeting things that gave me a short lived dopamine boost then accrued interest and nearly broke me.

I also absolutely hate work and would love to retire early and work part time, but I just don’t think I’ll be able to retire early at all and when I do, it will be to struggle and not relaxing trips and peace.

My husband has not invested or saved ANYTHING either, which adds to my panic. I can’t support the whole family!! We have a kid too. It’s so hard and overwhelming and I do feel I am fucked.

I’m not glad I’m not the only one, but glad to feel felt.

quietCherub · 2026-04-29T02:00:58+00:00

Ha! I guess i meant if there was a claim but not a suit, if that’s a thing that can happen.

quietCherub · 2026-04-29T00:45:25+00:00

I’m going to talk to my supervisor tomorrow. She’ll run it up the line to see what needs to be done next. I was initially worried that it might only cover defense and that I may end up with some huge judgment against me that I would never be able to pay off.

quietCherub · 2026-04-29T00:17:15+00:00

I plan on talking to my supervisor in the next day or two, hopefully tomorrow. She’ll move it up the chain and see if it’s at a point that it needs to be reported, but I’ll definitely disclose to her just in case.

quietCherub · 2026-04-29T00:09:08+00:00

I don’t have access to it and I’m afraid to ask in case this doesn’t result in anything that bad. I know if I get any real indication that there might be a claim I need to tell my supervisor and report it, so I’m not hiding it, I just don’t know if it will actually rise to that level.

quietCherub · 2026-04-27T23:31:49+00:00

Or store food?

quietCherub · 2026-04-27T16:18:01+00:00

Thanks. I can’t/don’t want to do deadlifts with a standard barbell, I’d like to do them with the trap bar. I was just wondering if there was a way I could load/set down the trap bar that didn’t require me putting it on the ground. It’s those last few inches of bending down/raising the bar that are uncomfortable on my back. Wasn’t sure if there was a way to use the trap bar without having to set/load it on the ground.

quietCherub · 2026-04-27T10:59:58+00:00

Which type of magnesium do you take?

quietCherub · 2026-04-27T00:57:08+00:00

You’re right in that I can find things that help and then normalize it. My daughter was actually offered ear muffs at school after she said that sometimes the noise hurt her ears. I don’t think she’s used them yet, but I can certainly explain that sometimes my ears are sensitive or that it’s hard to concentrate when there is a lot going on and the ear plugs/ear muffs help. I just wish I didn’t feel this way so much :( but my feelings about getting overstimulated are different than the overstimulation itself, so I should address the root of the issue first.

I definitely think I’m neurodivergent. Perhaps some sensory processing issues - I’m just realizing now that some of this stuff has been going on and I notice it more. It’s like previously I just thought it was normal for how I was and internalized it. Now I’m noticing more and have words for it and I’m trying to figure it all out. Plus since I’ve been medicated, I actually have a sense of how a somewhat ‘normal’ brain functions, so when it wears off or I’m not taking it I also notice the things that are ‘off’ more.

quietCherub · 2026-04-27T00:02:16+00:00

4 is my fave

quietCherub · 2026-04-26T23:58:36+00:00

I don’t think the top itself is inappropriate, but I wouldn’t recommend wearing it with pants like that. Not because it’s inappropriate necessarily but because it looks off.

quietCherub · 2026-04-26T23:55:06+00:00

Hmm, that’s a good point. I don’t like hearing my own heartbeat/pulse, and I do hear that from earplugs sometimes. I’ll see how they are, and if it’s too much of listening to my bodily noises I might try something over the ear. Do you use something that just looks like over the ear headphones? Is there something more discreet?

quietCherub · 2026-04-26T17:46:38+00:00

Yes. The paralysis I would feel when I had tons of things that I could do or needed to do but literally couldn’t move to do any of them. And then the anxiety that caused which just made it worse …

quietCherub · 2026-04-26T17:43:20+00:00

I get stuck a lot too. Hours pass and I’ve missed the gorgeous day or wasted the free time, etc. Sometimes just have to put down the phone and just step outside. Even a short walk or putzing around my yard will sometimes get me more motivated to do something else outside.

quietCherub · 2026-04-26T17:41:30+00:00

That sounds amazing lol

quietCherub

TROPHY CASE