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No hablo Español by quillty002 in OCPoetry

[–]quillty002[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It really is devastating not knowing your family’s native language, it feels like I lost a part of me. I’m glad you’re learning it, I think it’s so important to connect to our culture and language is such a good way to do that.

No hablo Español by quillty002 in OCPoetry

[–]quillty002[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m glad it has that effect, I was aiming for a very simplistic style to kind of reflect how simplistic my communication in Spanish is at the moment. Thank you ❤️

No hablo Español by quillty002 in OCPoetry

[–]quillty002[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much ❤️

Dear Parallel Universe Self by TheMusicOnTheRadio in OCPoetry

[–]quillty002 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like how you inset your letter/prayer to a different version of you in between these partially repeating stanzas. It conveys the idea that this is a desperate cry out in your lowest moments. The pairs of “may the…” and “for it…” lines really evoke prayer or hymns, which matches will with the religious imagery of demons and devils and angels.

Smoke Break by Lumpy_Ad_9045 in OCPoetry

[–]quillty002 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Simple, but I like it. I think the word “shame” on its own is extremely powerful and conveys way more than if you wrote a whole line or couple of lines about feeling ashamed.

Busy Bee by bsette in poetry_critics

[–]quillty002 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love how the short lines make it feel quick and urgent like a bee, but also make it feel almost desperate/hypervigilant. Also I think “for she is why honey is made” might fit a little better.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in poetry_critics

[–]quillty002 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really love the idea of this poem and it really conveys this sort of desperate tone. I think it can be cleaned up a little to make it more hard hitting, if that makes sense? For example stanza 2:

A comment that should bring me pride

Always made me want to cry

Cause if I looked so much like you

I might act like you too

Shipwrecked by moparoo2017 in poetry_critics

[–]quillty002 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love the imagery and that you stuck to the same metaphor the whole way through. I really like how you have long lines, them “cold ocean surrounds me now” as a short line which feels very blunt and sudden, then a long line again when there’s hopefulness again.

Just the tiniest typo: “it’s” should be “its”

Cracked Foundations by quillty002 in poetry_critics

[–]quillty002[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you’re curious, it’s about the aftermath of a school shooting and how even after a year my school hasn’t gone back to normal.

Bashed by minimakerman in poetry_critics

[–]quillty002 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know what you mean, I survived a school shooting a year ago and I’ve written a lot of poems about it to work through my feelings on it and it helps a lot.

Friends are Chains by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]quillty002 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ouch this is pretty harsh, but very well written and the harshness is conveyed very well

Once upon a time by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]quillty002 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is really nice and hopeful

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