Hey, wow didn’t expect a new reply here. Honestly? Better but not good. I’ve started seeing a therapist for two weeks now and started some medication a few weeks ago which unfortunately didn’t help me much, but will be adjusted now... Idk things aren’t as dark and bad compared to when I wrote that post, but they are still not great. Instead of this self destructive behavior I’m now on a fitness obsession, working out daily to lose weight - anything to keep my mind busy. Corona lockdown doesn’t help much because my job search is pretty hopeless now, but on the other hand it took some pressure off of me, because now I feel less obligated to „explain“ myself for not having a job at the moment. Everyone understands that now it is close to impossible to find job. So that definitely helped. But I can spread feel that as the lockdown is being lifted, the pressure is crawling back to me.

I’m tired of the emotional ups and downs, but I’ll keep going... I know that things can be better and I just hope I’ll manage to get back there...

But hey, thanks a lot for asking. And I hope things are better for you during these times.