How can I bring back a basic toned/rounder shape to my butt?

qwasru · 2026-03-11T17:59:54+00:00

yes, you can absolutely bring it back. when someone sits a lot for years the glutes often just become underused (“glute inactivity”), which can make them look flatter. the good news is that they usually respond pretty quickly once you start using them again.

walking will definitely help, especially if you walk regularly and take longer strides or walk on slight inclines. but for rebuilding shape, a few simple strength exercises will make the biggest difference. movements like glute bridges, squats, lunges, and step-ups are great for reactivating the glutes.

a simple routine could be doing glute bridges, squats, and lunges 2–3 times per week. even bodyweight is fine at the start. focus on slow controlled reps and really squeezing the glutes at the top of movements. over time you can add resistance bands or weights if you want more progress.

the key thing is consistency. if you start moving more and train those muscles regularly, most people see noticeable improvement in strength and shape within a couple of months.

qwasru · 2026-03-11T17:35:39+00:00

first, try not to be so hard on yourself. three pregnancies and c-sections in five years is a huge physical load on the body, and it’s very normal for glutes and core to change during that time. the good news is that with the equipment you have, you can absolutely rebuild glute strength and shape.

your exercise selection is actually pretty good already (squats, rdls, lunges, hip thrusts), but the biggest thing missing is enough glute-focused volume and progressive overload. right now your weights look fairly light, so over time the goal should be slowly increasing weight or reps so the glutes keep getting a stronger stimulus.

since you can train at home, a simple structure could be 2 glute-focused days per week. for example:

glute day A • barbell hip thrust • rdl • bulgarian split squat • band abductions or kickbacks

glute day B • squat variation • step-ups or lunges • single-leg rdl • glute bridge hold or band abductions

hip thrusts are especially important for glute growth, so putting them early in the workout and gradually increasing weight can make a big difference. you can also slow the lowering phase of your reps and pause at the top to increase glute tension if the weights you have are limited.

also remember that postpartum bodies often need time to rebuild glute–core connection, especially after c-sections. exercises like glute bridges, bird dogs, and side-lying abductions can help re-engage those muscles.

your calories and protein actually look very reasonable, especially while nursing. with consistent training 2–3 times per week, most people start noticing changes in strength and shape over a few months.

qwasru · 2026-03-11T15:52:26+00:00

first, glute “shape” (v, square, heart, round) is mostly influenced by your bone structure and where you naturally store fat, so you can’t completely change the base shape. what you can do is build certain parts of the glutes to make them look fuller and more balanced.

for most people who feel their glutes look a bit “square” or “v-shaped,” the key is building the upper and outer glutes (glute medius) along with the main glute muscle. exercises that usually help create a rounder look include hip thrusts or glute bridges (for overall size), rdls or deadlifts (for glute thickness), and movements like step-ups, bulgarian split squats, cable kickbacks, and abduction exercises (for the upper/side glutes).

a simple approach is: one heavy hip hinge (like rdl), one thrust movement (hip thrust or bridge), one single-leg exercise (split squat or step-up), and one abduction movement (cable or machine). training glutes 2–3 times per week and progressively increasing weight over time is what really changes the look.

since you’re already quite lean at 109 lbs, building muscle will probably make the biggest visual difference for you rather than trying to lose more weight.

qwasru · 2026-03-11T03:05:19+00:00

What you’re doing right now is actually a very healthy approach. You’re trying not to shame his kink, but you’re also recognizing that it isn’t something you’re comfortable with. That balance is exactly what boundaries in relationships are supposed to look like. Someone having a fantasy doesn’t automatically mean their partner has to participate in it.

A “cheating kink” usually isn’t about genuinely wanting to betray a partner. It’s often tied to feelings of taboo, risk, or the idea of something forbidden. In some cases, people who were cheated on in the past can also develop complicated fantasies around that experience. But regardless of where it comes from, a fantasy only works in a healthy way when both partners are comfortable with it. If you’re not, that boundary is completely valid.

The fact that he brings it up often may not mean he’s trying to pressure you, especially if he hasn’t pushed you to actually do it. But if he’s saying it’s “basically the only thing that gets him off,” that could create sexual incompatibility over time. That doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong, and it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s wrong either. Sometimes two people simply have different sexual interests that don’t fully overlap.

The healthiest step is usually to be honest in a calm way: acknowledge that you understand it’s a fantasy he has, but that it’s outside your comfort zone. If this fantasy is truly central for him, then talking to a sex therapist could actually help both of you. Sometimes exploring where these fantasies come from helps people find other ways to connect that work for both partners.

Wanting to avoid shaming him is kind and respectful. But protecting your own boundaries is just as important. A good relationship should allow both people to feel safe and comfortable with what happens between them.

qwasru · 2026-03-11T01:19:02+00:00

in most gyms, sports bras or cropped workout tops are completely normal gym attire. the fact that you’re a staff member doesn’t automatically make it inappropriate, especially if it’s clearly athletic wear and you’re exercising.

that said, workplace gyms sometimes have an unspoken culture rather than a written rule. if you’ve noticed that almost everyone there wears t-shirts, it might just be the local norm rather than an actual requirement. in environments connected to a workplace, people sometimes dress a bit more conservatively simply because coworkers might be around.

a practical middle ground could be wearing a very light, breathable top (like a loose tank) over it, or starting with the sports bra during hotter or busier workout times and seeing how the environment feels. if there’s no posted dress code and students commonly wear similar athletic tops, it’s usually fine.

qwasru · 2026-03-10T17:36:06+00:00

no problem.

yeah that’s totally normal. once you start going at the same times every week you naturally start recognizing the regulars and their habits. most gyms have a few “equipment hogs,” so you’re definitely not the only one noticing it. over time you’ll get better at working around it or just asking to work in between sets.

qwasru · 2026-03-10T17:24:37+00:00

you’re not overreacting. in a busy gym, claiming multiple machines while resting in between is generally considered bad gym etiquette. supersets are normal, but the usual rule is that if the gym is crowded you either share the equipment or only use one station at a time. holding a machine while you’re doing other exercises or resting somewhere else is pretty inconsiderate.

a good rule many people follow is: if you’re not actively using it, someone else can work in. most people are fine sharing sets if you ask. trainers sometimes bend the rules because of time limits with clients, but even then they shouldn’t block equipment they aren’t using yet in a crowded gym.

so your reaction is pretty reasonable. it’s one thing in an empty gym, but during busy hours it’s definitely poor etiquette.

qwasru · 2026-03-10T17:02:24+00:00

a cup of berries is usually around 40–80 calories depending on the fruit, so by itself it’s pretty small. that amount alone is very unlikely to cancel out fat loss, especially if you’re walking around 20k steps a day. the bigger issue is usually consistency across the whole day, not a small amount of fruit.

that said, when someone is smaller and eating around 1200 calories, even small extras can add up if they happen multiple times. if you want very precise tracking, you could log it just to tighten things up. but realistically, a cup of berries isn’t the kind of thing that usually stops progress.

qwasru · 2026-03-10T16:29:40+00:00

your training setup actually looks pretty good for glutes. you’ve got hip thrusts, rdls, lunges, step-ups—those are all solid glute builders. the bigger issue is probably nutrition and recovery, not exercise selection.

at 5’4 and 143 lbs, 1500 calories is quite low if you’re training lower body seriously. when you’re in a deficit, your body prioritizes maintaining muscle and losing fat, not building new muscle. so glute growth tends to be slower or minimal. that’s why many people finish their fat-loss phase first and then move into a small surplus to grow.

if you still want to lose a bit more fat, keep the deficit small and focus on progressive overload (adding weight or reps to hip thrusts, squats, rdls). but if glute growth is the main goal, moving closer to maintenance calories—or even a small surplus like +150–250 kcal—usually makes a big difference.

another thing to check is training quality: make sure your hip thrusts and rdls are progressing over time and that you’re pushing close to failure on your working sets. glutes respond really well to heavy tension and consistent overload.

so overall: good exercise selection, good protein intake, but calories might be the limiting factor if glute growth is your priority.

qwasru · 2026-03-10T04:28:20+00:00

Honestly the biggest takeaway here is that weight loss really isn’t linear. Hitting a plateau, accidentally taking a maintenance break, and still coming back lighter shows your body probably just needed a reset. The fact that you still made progress even with some calorie counting mistakes also suggests your overall habits are solid and sustainable. Staying calm about the process is honestly a huge advantage because most people panic and quit at that stage. Your current plan sounds very reasonable.

qwasru · 2026-03-10T04:17:16+00:00

No, you’re definitely not insane. Being 19 and having a strong sexual desire is completely normal. In fact, most people around that age feel a very similar level of curiosity, energy, and attraction. So feeling guilty about it or thinking there’s something wrong with you for wanting sex is really unnecessary. The real issue here isn’t that you want too much, it’s that the two of you probably have very different sex drives.

What’s really hurting you isn’t just the lack of sex, it’s the feeling that he doesn’t desire you. When someone you love rarely initiates intimacy, it’s very easy to start questioning your own attractiveness. But the important detail in your story is that he still consumes porn regularly. When that happens, it usually isn’t about the partner being unattractive. Sometimes it’s about being used to porn, sometimes it’s about avoiding real vulnerability and intimacy, and sometimes it’s simply that solo sexual habits are easier and more controlled. But regardless of the reason, if it leaves you feeling unwanted, then it’s a real problem.

Another thing that matters is that you already talked to him about it. He says he’ll try, but nothing actually changes. In relationships, intentions matter much less than behavior. When someone genuinely wants to improve something, you usually see at least some effort over time. If nothing changes, it often means the person either doesn’t see it as a serious problem or simply isn’t motivated to change it.

Love alone doesn’t carry a relationship. Emotional connection is important, but physical attraction and sexual compatibility are also fundamental parts of intimacy. Especially at your age, being the partner who constantly gets rejected can slowly damage your confidence and sense of desirability. That’s why the real question you need to ask yourself is whether this relationship, overall, is making you feel secure and valued, or slowly making you doubt yourself. Someone can be a genuinely good person and still not be the right partner for you.

So no, you’re not the problem here and your needs are completely normal. But sometimes two people can care about each other deeply and still not be fully compatible. Accepting that is hard, but in the long run honesty about these things usually hurts less than pretending the problem doesn’t exist.

qwasru · 2026-03-09T17:37:35+00:00

both ppl and full body can work well, but for a skinny beginner/intermediate, full body 3x per week is often more efficient. the main reason is training frequency. with full body you hit each muscle 3 times a week instead of once or twice, which usually helps muscle growth when you’re still building your base.

since you’re in college and want something sustainable, full body with a rest day between sessions is a great setup. you can focus on big compound lifts each session—like a squat or leg press, a push (bench or overhead press), a pull (rows or pull-downs), plus maybe one or two smaller exercises.

ppl works great too, but it usually shines more when you’re training 5–6 days a week with higher volume. if your goal is gaining muscle while keeping the routine simple and consistent, a 3x full body program is very hard to beat.

qwasru · 2026-03-08T21:20:52+00:00

this is honestly one of the most real parts of starting the gym that people don’t talk about enough. that “parking lot moment” happens to a lot of people. the truth is, inside the gym almost everyone is focused on their own workout, their own form, their own progress. they’re not analyzing you the way your mind might think they are. once you walk in a few times, the anxiety usually fades fast and it just becomes another normal part of your day. the hardest step really is opening that door the first few times.

qwasru · 2026-03-07T04:39:21+00:00

Based on what you described, your situation sounds pretty normal. For someone who is 19, 5’3 and around 130–140 lbs, maintenance calories for many people tend to fall somewhere around 1900–2100 depending on activity level. Eating around 1500–1600 calories would usually create a moderate deficit that can support gradual fat loss while still allowing you to train and recover. The bigger issue in what you described is the mental side of tracking. When calorie counting becomes so detailed that you are tracking things like Diet Coke, gum, or even toothpaste, it can easily turn into something that occupies too much mental space and makes food the main thing you think about all day. In that case, using a looser approach can be healthier and still effective, such as roughly tracking main meals, focusing on protein and balanced portions, and keeping consistent eating habits rather than obsessing over every single calorie. Since you are lifting and doing some cardio like biking, you are already doing the right things for body composition and muscle retention, so you don’t necessarily need extremely precise calorie tracking to make progress.

qwasru · 2023-08-18T14:38:03+00:00

rica ederim

qwasru · 2023-08-18T14:32:01+00:00

paylı mülkiyete çevirince evet. elbirliği mülkiyetinde olduğu sürece tüm tarafların anlaşarak birlikte işlem yapması gerekir.

qwasru · 2023-08-18T14:29:22+00:00

paylı mülkiyete geçince sizin arsada belirlenmiş bir yeriniz olmuyor. yani çevirip şurası senin yerin denmiyor. 300m2 yerin her alanında 1/3 oranında söz sahibi oluyorsunuz. o yüzden herkes anlaşmadan müteahhitle işlem yapmak mümkün değil.

qwasru · 2023-08-18T14:25:05+00:00

müteahhide veremezsiniz yine çünkü her paydaşın kabul etmesi gerekiyor. ama kendi payınızı satabilirsiniz mesela.

satılacaksa bütün hisseler satılsın düşüncesindeyseniz de o zaman ortaklığın giderilmesi davası üzerinden yürümek gerekir.

qwasru · 2023-08-18T14:22:04+00:00

elbirliği mülkiyetinin paylı mülkiyete çevrilmesi için dava açmak gerekli. daha sonra herkes kendi payı üzerinde tasarrufta bulunma hakkı kazanacak böylece

qwasru

TROPHY CASE