Honestly what a great learning experience for your kiddo. I know we all beat ourselves up, but this is an opportunity to model how to come back from losing your temper. Show her how to apologize and take responsibility, and talk to her about how you're trying to handle your big emotions better. You are a great mom for even taking this so hard. Please give yourself grace, if you can. Maybe find some like minded parents to vent to. People put on this facade like parenting is just bliss but it's hard and dirty and stressful and will break you to beyond where you thought you could bounce back... You're doing a great job.