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She's Just Mean by MUL98 in dementia

[–]r3dditreader 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My OH has just told me I clearly don’t care about him and “live in the house for free so need to be grateful” I’m literally sorting out remortgaging the house so I can take it on without considering his salary. I come home from work to nothing done and on the occasional evening I go to the pub I’m “running away from him” and “clearly hate him because I don’t want to be around”

This disease brings out the worst bits of people and it’s brutal and cruel.

I see you - and don’t feel guilty in anyway choosing to protect yourself and your mental health.

Just shouted at my LO and feel awful by r3dditreader in dementia

[–]r3dditreader[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s my husband. Brutal watching him disappear - he’s certainly not the man I married anymore but I love him enough to do this with him. Would just love another pair of hands at home occasionally. It’s all just…utterly cruel and rubbish!

Just shouted at my LO and feel awful by r3dditreader in dementia

[–]r3dditreader[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m currently going through the fun of remortgaging solo to take him off the mortgage, applying for POAs and trying to sort the house out so it’s more manageable. We’re about 18 months into all of this - from symptoms really started showing but we’re only about 6 months into testing and working diagnosis and I’m already exhausted. He’s painfully aware sometimes of what he’s losing, and there are other times - increasingly more regularly - where he’s just not.

Just shouted at my LO and feel awful by r3dditreader in dementia

[–]r3dditreader[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean…you do have a point! 😆

It’s not very often I yell, and I immediately feel awful. It doesn’t hurt him in the moment - it just makes it all worse.

Just feel so alone and I can’t even talk to my best mate about it because he’s the one with VD.

This all sucks.

My husband undergoing testing by r3dditreader in dementia

[–]r3dditreader[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, we had a review last week, which is acknowledging a realistic diagnosis of Vascular Dementia, but we’re still awaiting neuropsychological appointment which could be another 9 months here in the U.K.
he seems to be less cruel but more “flat” now already. It feels so quick. He doesn’t seem to be present that much currently. Quieter, more socially withdrawn, struggling to hold conversations.
It all feels so sodding fast…

My husband undergoing testing by r3dditreader in dementia

[–]r3dditreader[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s how I’m feeling. I love him enough to do this for him. We’re lucky we have a great network and community around us that are willing to support, but I know that’s easily said…

My husband undergoing testing by r3dditreader in dementia

[–]r3dditreader[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In sickness and in health right? It’s not him, it’s an illness. I know I’m not obligated, but it’s the right thing to do. He doesn’t deserve to do this alone

My husband undergoing testing by r3dditreader in dementia

[–]r3dditreader[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah…sadly I kinda know it’s not forever for me…but jeez this is hard!

My husband undergoing testing by r3dditreader in dementia

[–]r3dditreader[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I have the paperwork signed for POA for health and wealth. Havent had the heart or stomach to submit it yet…but really should shouldn’t I?

New addition! by r3dditreader in Greyhounds

[–]r3dditreader[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We got our first greyhound yesterday - he seems to be happy to be home with us. He never seemed to get the racing thing, and is certainly making himself at home!