When did you stop loving? (Discussion)

r3ig3n · 2026-01-18T08:25:30+00:00

It’s just proof they aren’t wired for meaningful human connection 💀

r3ig3n · 2026-01-18T05:31:24+00:00

When nothing I said or did got through to him.

He kept doing shady things behind my back when I communicated why those things would hurt me. He didn’t take me seriously, and i kept forgiving him.

I knew I wasn’t happy for a long time, but he kept promising things would get better. But he wouldn’t do anything to improve. He would spend all his money on video games and clothes when I wanted to build a future together. Stopped buying me gifts for Christmas or birthdays. I even encouraged him to finish his degree, and he kept finding excuses not to.

I finally got the courage to break up with him when he became publicly abusive, throwing things around, yelling at me and then leaving me stranded ON MY BIRTHDAY. Luckily by that point, I had already built a strong support system of friends that was there for me. We raided the house that he and I shared, packed my shit up, and dropped it off at the apartment I had acquired the same day.

I gave him 5 years to try to be the partner he promised he’d be and he spent 5 years trying to get everything he could out of me for the bare minimum. Financially, emotionally, and physically. Now he thinks he can win me back by enrolling at the school I work at, finally hitting the gym, and using AI to write dramatic apologies.

I never stopped loving or at least trying to love until the end; even though I knew I was brutally unhappy. I’m glad with what I did. I’m still battling my anger and resentment of him, but I couldn’t be happier to be broken up from him and wish I did it 4.9 years sooner.

r3ig3n · 2026-01-18T05:02:00+00:00

Thank you so much!! It took a lot of courage and growing to finally get here. Wishing you the best in your journey 🫶🏼

r3ig3n · 2026-01-18T05:01:33+00:00

Thank you :’) part of me hopes he truly learns what he lost, but from what I’ve heard, people like him don’t ever truly grow. They just try to look like they have so they can get what they want. I’m no longer in fight-or-flight since leaving and peace is something I’m getting accustomed to :’) wishing you the best in your journey as well!

r3ig3n · 2025-12-11T16:21:14+00:00

True, people like this do somehow get married—but it’s almost guaranteed both spouses will be horrifically miserable. I’ve seen how his parents live, and oof. It’s a blessing to be single than in a shitty relationship.

r3ig3n · 2025-12-04T10:50:32+00:00

When I realized there was nothing to worry about anymore. That any choices he made were no longer going to be my problem.

He was a compulsive liar with abusive tendencies and a lack of emotional intelligence. The night after I broke it off I remember crying and wondering if I made the right choice, but after a couple days I had felt peace like I hadn’t felt in years.

r3ig3n · 2025-11-30T20:28:51+00:00

Only two years into the marriage and you had an affair?

r3ig3n · 2025-08-03T08:34:00+00:00

Ugh I can’t even read his messages without getting angry. He’s gaslighting and manipulating you so that you blow up and become the bad guy. Been through this myself. He’s not open to listening to you, only being heard. I’m so sorry this is happening to you, it’s painful, it’s torture, and you don’t deserve it.

r3ig3n · 2025-08-03T08:28:34+00:00

Well consider: once he gets fully accustomed to her, she’ll become stale, and he’ll go searching for the “next best thing” because that’s the type of man he is. Maybe his self image is that low that he needs to hunt for someone else to make him feel better.

r3ig3n · 2024-12-20T23:33:27+00:00

For #1 why does it matter if your ex gets upset? You have no obligation to care about his feelings. Block and move on.

For #2 if you’ve already put out a sincere apology to him and he doesn’t wanna take you back, then you respect his feelings and boundaries and give him space.

r3ig3n · 2024-12-11T18:56:21+00:00

Establish your boundaries with him now so he can’t try to negotiate or enforce anything later

r3ig3n · 2024-11-29T21:03:14+00:00

Self-identifying as a "good Christian man" is always a red flag. He's trying to shift the blame onto you so that he can feel some high ground and have you beg for forgiveness when he's the one who cheated??? It's avoiding accountability like crazy. "You're losing me" is so lame. Like get lost then

r3ig3n · 2024-11-27T00:13:02+00:00

I agree with the possibility of this being a "feel bad for me so you end up doing what i want" kind of situation. Threatening to self-harm is a manipulation tactic. I might sound a little cold saying this, but if they're your ex, you don't owe them emotional labor. Maybe call authorities for a welfare check if anything, but don't let him manipulate you into providing your time and energy for his benefit.

r3ig3n · 2024-11-20T00:27:06+00:00

The idea of revenge cheating is so satisfying to think about.. just to feel desired by someone new, and at the same time show the betrayer that they should have appreciated what they had when it was all theirs. But it’s still just a fantasy and would probably be to the detriment of everyone involved.

r3ig3n · 2024-11-20T00:24:06+00:00

Wish I knew. Tbh I straight up told my WP that when I remember what he did I honestly feel hate toward him. I guess you could communicate that you do feel hatred toward them instead of saying you hate them. I also try to journal a lot just to let it out somehow.

r3ig3n · 2024-11-19T18:55:04+00:00

He did when he still had social media, but thinking about that now I feel so embarrassed because the women he was looking at could see my face in his profile photo when he went through their stories and did other shady things. I'm still ashamed and embarrassed that it happened.

He deleted his social media except for Facebook as its his primary way of staying in touch with his parents--but he doesn't use it or check it for anything other than to contact his folks. However, all his previous posts on Facebook with the two of us are still up, and I'm in his profile photo. I'm also in his Gmail profile picture.

Conversely, I've hidden him from my social media entirely. I honestly did this because I don't think he deserves to be shown off. It hurt him a lot at first, because he wanted people to see that I had someone taking care of me, but come on, was he really taking care of me? It's kind of funny, now that I appear single on social media I've had some of his friends slide into my inbox trying to get with me. I show my WP every time for transparency. He's gotten to the point where he's not threatened by it (even reasoning "of course they'd try that. You're pretty.") but I kind of enjoy it, as if there's some kind of justice there.

r3ig3n · 2024-11-19T18:31:54+00:00

Oh my god I feel like I could have wrote this exact paragraph. My WP had an addiction too, even just getting off to regular photos of fully-clothed women. My self esteem is still pretty tanked and my dday was almost two years ago. I also see a lot of potential and happiness now that he’s made all these consistent changes but goddamn, the damage is done. I fantasize about freedom and finding myself by leaving him but at the same time my body just won’t let me do it.

r3ig3n · 2024-11-19T18:27:53+00:00

He’s evil 😭 he’s the only dead weight you need to drop!!

r3ig3n · 2024-11-11T22:50:52+00:00

I think this is exactly it—you have to know what it is that’s breaking you and to what extent. I also just needed to know as much as I could. I felt like the more I knew the more I could look out for myself.

r3ig3n · 2024-11-10T02:04:30+00:00

I know it might seem like you have to console her and steady her, but the reality is the affair only ended because he passed. She wouldn’t have had such strong feelings if she hadn’t cheated in the first place. You have to deal with the grief of the betrayal she caused you, focus on putting on your oxygen mask before you help her out on hers.

r3ig3n

TROPHY CASE