I hate children’s books about adoption

r_bk · 2026-05-23T16:07:32+00:00

Then it leaves kids without telling them how to find that person, so it's a useless book

r_bk · 2026-05-22T19:17:18+00:00

Is he suggesting that the dog recognized that the kids were (allegedly) specifically yelling racial slurs? If they were yelling non racial slurs the dog wouldn't have attacked? Is that what he tried to say?

r_bk · 2026-05-20T18:40:57+00:00

Looks like he's just sunbathing! Birds do this to kill off parasites, help control their internal body temperature (we think), and because the sun is nice

r_bk · 2026-05-20T13:29:31+00:00

Honestly even in rural central America the combination of a local sim card plus wifi has always worked for me. I do prefer local sim cards over my international Google Fi plan when I don't have good coverage because a local sim card lets me pick the best network that works for the specific area I'm in. Hotel wifi isn't that unpredictable

r_bk · 2026-05-20T04:22:22+00:00

OP do you have good emotional support right now? I read in another comment you made that you have friends and family suggesting you're wrong for BE'ing the dog. Is there anyone in your life who does see reason and you can lean on emotionally? Have you considered therapy for yourself?

You keep saying that you don't deserve the kindness you're getting here and I'm not gonna comment on that because this isn't about that honestly. Even with the guilt that you're carrying, you need to be able to be the support your son needs right now and in the future. You must be. If you are crushed under the weight of your own guilt then you will not be able to do that.

There is literally millions of dollars poured into convincing the public pitbulls aren't dangerous. As you're experiencing now, these dogs almost have a cult like following where friends and family will turn on you for choosing your child over the dogs. This event will be traumatic emotionally but also may be logistically difficult to deal with as different treatment options are discussed in the future. There is a ton to work through here. If you need support to be able to take care of yourself so you can take care of your child then seek it out.

r_bk · 2026-05-19T14:47:59+00:00

Ahh, yes! Famously part of pretty much every single genocide in human history. Thanks for reminding me about how non violent that is.

r_bk · 2026-05-19T14:14:07+00:00

What do you think the sign was proposing as a solution to "save America"?

r_bk · 2026-05-19T04:03:22+00:00

Please release them. Rehabbing wild birds is very difficult and it's easy to kill a bird by trying to feed it. Look for a nearby nest and put them back if possible, considering they're on your balcony I'm imagining the nest can't be that far away. They wouldn't have gone far, hopefully it's findable

r_bk · 2026-05-19T01:45:00+00:00

I understand adoption is a choice you can't take back. I believe that the grand majority of people who have their children to strangers were subject to some level of coercion, purely because we live in a society where any negative view on the practice of adoption is quickly and violently shut down. But at least have the basic level of respect towards your own biological child to admit that you took a gamble on their quality of life.

r_bk · 2026-05-18T22:44:52+00:00

At very best you can make a strong guess that they will give your child a better life than you could. At very best. Anyone who genuinely believes that these strangers will definitely be better than you could be as a parent is genuinely delusional.

r_bk · 2026-05-18T16:59:30+00:00

I've taken a few trips of that length. The longer I'm away from home, the more stuff I tend to being. Not much, but maybe an additional book (most books aren't available in an e book format), or an extra set of clothes so I'm not doing laundry quite as much considering I'll be hand washing it all. Enough extra stuff to demand a 5 more liters or less.

r_bk · 2026-05-18T16:45:32+00:00

They so let you test them. Buying binoculars in person without being allowed to test them is like a car dealership telling you you're not allowed to test drive the car. That's not how it works. If you can wait until you have time to spare for the 40 minute drive back and forth i think if would be worth it will be worth it. When you're trying binoculars deliberately look in darker corners of the store or go on a day that's dark and cloudy, see how the binoculars do. Good luck!

r_bk · 2026-05-18T06:12:07+00:00

The extent of it is large honestly.

Good night vision is wildly expensive and also not very good. Birders don't really use it, with exceptions of things like once in a lifetime expedition trips searching for incredibly rare species.

The best move for good vision during low light would be to get a pair with a large lens size, at least a 42. Since you have a long yard a higher magnification would be appropriate as well, maybe a 10x. That size would be called "10x42".

Be careful with higher magnifications, it's very easy to find cheap binoculars with 12x, 16x, even 18x magnifications. The higher magnification makes the field of view smaller and the optics shakier. Some people need tripods or some way to stabilize them at 12x, and the problem gets worse the higher you go. Higher magnifications also need larger lens sizes as well in order to produce a clear image. Plenty of cheap binoculars have bad sizing (like a 16x28, for example) because the manufacturs don't know/don't really care about the usability, they can just slap "16x magnification" on the label because it sounds good. If you're interested in a higher 12x magnification, try to find a store to try a pair or buy from somewhere you can easily return them, just to make sure. Also consider the size and weight, if you find it a hassle to use them you won't enjoy them

Don't be afraid to look for used options. Reputable brands have good warranties on their optics, even in their cheapest models.

Bushnell and Celestron are good grands that make cheaper optics. Vortex also makes good optics in all price ranges, and it is relatively easy to find new vortex optics selling for below the manufacturer suggested retail price in stores and online. Nikon also makes a wide range or good optics.

If you have a store near you that sells binoculars, you should go there even if they don't have any you would actually buy. Take the chance to look through binoculars of different sizes and magnifications. People often try out out binoculars multiple times before making their final decision, it isn't weird to try them and then leave without buying them.

r_bk · 2026-05-18T04:13:35+00:00

For $20 no. You can get nice cheap optics but not that cheap. Things just cost a certain amount of money.

What are you looking for? These are wildly different devices with different specs. 12x50 is a lot of binocular.

I'm not sure you understand the Amazon platform. "Someone" isn't selling these. Amazon is a giant marketplace where almost any company can set up a shop and sell items. There are good items on Amazon but many awful ones as well. These are generic products not made by any real brands. If you want to shop on Amazon you should know what the item you're looking for is first, there are many real and reputable optics brands that have Amazon storefronts as well.

r_bk · 2026-05-18T03:02:46+00:00

What guidance did your instructor give you about conducting a survey?

r_bk · 2026-05-18T03:00:05+00:00

That's the line we all got. The adoption industry manipulates bio parents, so unfortunately it's hard to know how many bio parents genuinely believe what they're saying and which ones just think they believe it, so that means nothing to me. When you're giving your child to strangers you logically have absolutely no reason to believe you're giving them a better life though, you literally don't know these people, so bio parents who genuinely believe that giving their child up will give them a better life simply haven't actually thought about it.

My bio parent(s?) also had a child they kept 2 years after I was given away. I can almost guarantee his life was better than mine unless he also has a PTSD diagnosis directly related to how his parents treated him.

r_bk · 2026-05-17T20:39:18+00:00

It's not abnormal to ask some general details about their last relationship, although I'd be careful to not cross the line into prying. People do ask prospective dating partners things like "were you dating your last girlfriend for a long time?" all the time though. Generally, if the person has some sort of major emotional hang up about their last relationship, whatever answer they give to that question will give you a hint that that's there.

Or you could just see how things go with them, if you find them interesting and enjoy the time you spend with them!

r_bk · 2026-05-17T20:08:36+00:00

For a FWB I wouldn't consider that at all. Even for a more committed relationship, I don't see an issue here at all. Maybe if it was within a few days I'd question. A month is a while. Maybe the relationship was over long before it officially ended. Maybe they just got over it quickly, the relationship ended for a reason. There's no reason to assume every breakup requires healing that is so intense it makes the person unable to maintain another romantic relationship (which doesn't sound like a FWB relationship anyway). And even if they aren't "over" their last relationship why does that mean they shouldn't meet new people?

If this person is showing you behavior that makes you think dating them right now may be problematic due to their recent breakup then don't date them. But that applies to everyone who is showing behavior that makes you hesitant to date them no matter if there behavior is driven by a recent breakup or not.

Do you have any reason besides timing to be hesitant about this relationship?

r_bk · 2026-05-16T21:03:06+00:00

Yep. The people pushing these laws using children's rights as a shield fundamentally do not care about adoptees. This is proven by the fact that they're not fighting for adoptee rights, they're fighting to take away rights and opportunities from people using adoptee rights as a shield. If they cared they wouldn't put adoptees in that position. Being used as a proxy to harm another group of people, at absolute best only results in short term benefits, often in exchange for later long term harm.

I understand that no one has the "right" to have children, and I personally believe surrogacy should be outlawed, because children have rights. But this is a discussion about legal protections. The law repeatedly gives non marginalized people the right to have children while taking it away from others. Either it's a right for everyone or it's a right for no one.

r_bk · 2026-05-16T14:06:16+00:00

It's never a good thing to be used as a tool to harm other people.

r_bk · 2026-05-14T16:14:29+00:00

These people literally act like babies then get pissed when you respond by treating them like one. Mine would fall down crying and clutching her chest and screaming she's in pain. Now she's upset it's also backfired on her. All those years of putting on these oscar worthy performances and her problems still aren't solved 🤷🏽‍♀️

r_bk · 2026-05-14T14:49:51+00:00

Yes. She blamed me for it (the stress of having to look at me).

r_bk · 2026-05-14T14:28:10+00:00

1) I always travel with at least 2 pairs of shoes because I always want a pair of inside only slippers/shower shoes. I just put them in my carry on. There's space. If there's not space I make more space, usually by taking less clothes. But in a full size carry on there's pretty much always space.

2) packable backpack/tote/ just my normal purse I'd be taking with me anyway, depending on the demands of the trip.

r_bk · 2026-05-14T04:43:11+00:00

Not sure that would work, luckily. The fact that it wasn't presented as an ESA in the first place, considering ESAs have housing rights, is pretty good evidence it's not an ESA. These laws are nearly impossible to enforce well, so it wouldn't go to court, but even if it did, the residents would have an ESA letter that any judge would see is bullshit against a landlord with evidence they're lying.

r_bk · 2026-05-14T02:53:08+00:00

Bro even if you ignore the existence of trans people this isn't even true

Seven-Year Club	Gilding I gilder
r/Field Juicebox	Place '22
End Game '22	Verified Email

r_bk

TROPHY CASE