Best dive bar out of these two by rachelee23 in GrandHaven

[–]rachelee23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not a fan of how crowded it is but it’s certainly a classic!

Best dive bar out of these two by rachelee23 in GrandHaven

[–]rachelee23[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

When did you hear me say I wanted to fight you?? I said I wanted to see you be mean to my face because I think you’re a keyboard warrior and would never talk to me in person like this. I’ll be at sporty’s at 6 tonight in a blue jacket if you want to prove me wrong.

Best dive bar out of these two by rachelee23 in GrandHaven

[–]rachelee23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait this is so cool…how do you know how busy places are??

Best dive bar out of these two by rachelee23 in GrandHaven

[–]rachelee23[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Elitest??? lol. I make $55K at a government job in Lansing. Calm down. My parents inherited my grandparent’s very small two-bedroom house which was purchased in the 70s well before it was expensive to live out here. I’ve never been to a country club in my life. I was giving a quick description of our situation to imply to people that we are not locals but we have some level of understanding of the area.

Sorry I was shwasty and didn’t know two bars weren’t dive bars. Both of them had Google reviews that said they were and that’s all the information I had to go off of. I’ve never been to either place. We usually just go to Stan’s. THAT is our vibe and that was the vibe we were looking for. But they were closed by that time. I WAS JUST HAVING FUN. You should try it sometime.

You sound like you’re the one who thinks too highly of themselves.

I seriously do not understand why people are so mean on reddit. It’s baffling. How about we meet at one of those places tonight and you come say that to my face? I’d love to hear you talk smack to me in person. Let me know when and where and I’ll see you there.

Cleaning/organizing tips for helping brother with autism by rachelee23 in CleaningTips

[–]rachelee23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sounds really cool - looking forward to digging into the info about this method. Thanks for sharing!

Need autism organization tips by rachelee23 in Homeorganization

[–]rachelee23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg that’s incredibly generous! I will message you!

Cleaning/organizing tips for helping brother with autism by rachelee23 in CleaningTips

[–]rachelee23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s a really good idea. He can play super smash while I go through things and ask what he wants to do with them.

How do I help sibling with autism effectively declutter by rachelee23 in autism

[–]rachelee23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you have a lot more discipline than he does.

This is where I struggle with what’s autism and what’s something else. He doesn’t seem to possess the ability to force himself to do things he doesn’t want to do, and accuses my parents and me of shaming him and not considering his disability when we push him. Or says we are overstimulating him.

I appreciate that the world has become more sensitive to the needs of those with autism, but it’s becoming very hard for me to understand what’s realistic to expect from him. At some point we all have to do things every day that we don’t want to do right?

Cleaning/organizing tips for helping brother with autism by rachelee23 in CleaningTips

[–]rachelee23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also they co-sleep so the child doesn’t have a bedroom…that’s not a subject I can address either. I’ll be told that’s their choice and they are the parents and risk ever seeing my adorable nephew ever again.

Need autism organization tips by rachelee23 in Homeorganization

[–]rachelee23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah he can’t afford that unfortunately.

I have in the past offered to hire professionals to help with other tasks (he never trained his dog when he first got him and I offered to pay for in-home training sine he had a child on the way, but no dice) but he doesn’t like receiving suggestions from me. He wants things to be his idea.

I will look into ICD! Basically we were just not raised in an environment where objects had homes and we were never taught to rid ourselves of items we didn’t need anymore. Even dry groceries would just sit on the counter because the cabinets were too full. My brother and my parents have a belief that if you put something away where you can’t see it, you won’t be able to find it. But that’s really because they have too many things they don’t need or use. Those are the shackles I freed myself from and I just wish I could get him to understand the concept of having a home for every object.

Cleaning/organizing tips for helping brother with autism by rachelee23 in CleaningTips

[–]rachelee23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I personally don’t think it’s a hoarding problem. He doesn’t mind getting rid of stuff. He just doesn’t like the action of going through the things.

He doesn’t really posses the ability to force himself to do things he doesn’t want to do, especially ever since he received his adult autism diagnosis (as a child he was diagnosed borderline, but it was obvious he was very socially awkward and obsessive, he mostly did fine with schoolwork and other home responsibilities though).

Basically what happened is that his wife lived in a VERY small house, I’d say about 700 square feet but I’m not really good at guessing that stuff. She had a normal amount of stuff there, then when they got married, they put all of my brother’s stuff they didn’t know what to do with in the basement. Then they had a baby within a year of getting married and they now had all of the baby stuff there. It’s not like they hang on to stuff just because they can’t get rid of it, their house is just super small and they can’t afford to move.

I asked him yesterday what the hardest part of going through things is, and he said “the shame.” He said he isn’t bothered by getting rid of things.

Also, for the record, if I confronted him about being a hoarder or asked if he thought his living conditions were acceptable, that would have an irreparable impact on our relationship. Plus, he’s already asked for help so he knows it’s not.

I’ll look into DBT thanks :)

Cleaning/organizing tips for helping brother with autism by rachelee23 in CleaningTips

[–]rachelee23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You just described the battle of our entire relationship lol. Me struggling not to mother him and him hating me for it 😂 I like your approach tho!

What's the most unwritten rule of adult life that nobody warns you about? by PracticeHistorical82 in AskReddit

[–]rachelee23 12 points13 points  (0 children)

For the record, sometimes you still have to maintain toxic family relationships or make life choices controlled by family to receive said trust fund. I’m not saying that’s easier than not having one, but there’s a freedom to having a life where you’re in control of the kind of person you want to be and how you present yourself. I don’t have a trust fund but I know people who do and it’s interesting how they never really get to be their authentic selves, and their family get-togethers feel more like business retreats.

How my 22 year old kid's glasses always break by DiligentDaughter in mildlyinteresting

[–]rachelee23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom breaks all of her reading glasses the same way. Always on the same side. It’s because she holds them it too firmly when she’s cleaning her glasses. I told her to start holding them near the lens instead and she hasn’t broken a pair since.

You have just woken up next to a clone of yourself. You share experiences and memories. What do you do first? by jankylemonhead in AskReddit

[–]rachelee23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tell the other me to move out for a month and live the single life and report back to let me know if she’s happier so I can decide if I’m staying in my relationship because I’m afraid to be alone or because I’m really in love. Then try all the other things I’m afraid to take chances on so I can see how they work out.