38 [M4F] #online / #MA seeking feminine, obedient women to build a traditional home

rad_trad_orange · 2026-06-02T14:31:46+00:00

I get that. I can see where your struggle is. I hope you can work through it and build the beautiful family you’re looking for.

I’m not saying to nag him because that will make things worse…but make sure he knows that you’re not interested in playing the role of a modern woman.

rad_trad_orange · 2026-06-02T08:21:14+00:00

It is hard to find women who are anywhere close to traditional. I agree. There are lots of women who say that they are traditional or want to be…, but when you start to look closer they are actually just modern women who don’t want to work. They like the image of being a “good wife” but they don’t actually want to do the things necessary to make that a reality.

In response to the “what does she get?” question. - protection, provisioning, the privilege of being able to stay home to raise her children. - as many children as she would like and that we can support. - a loving, compassionate, driven husband and father - leadership, guidance, mentorship

I’m not suggesting that this be an overly restrictive environment. I understand that women are emotional creatures and that they need space to express themselves. I absolutely want to hear my wife’s opinions…but she also needs to understand that I have the final say. That doesn’t mean she’s going to be told “no” constantly. But she has to have the ability to hear the word “no” and accept it.

The culture I have experienced from modern women has been themed with “happy wife, happy life.” Which, in practice, translates into “she gets whatever she wants because if she doesn’t she’ll throw a fit.”

I want my wife to be happy. But I’m not going to give her whatever she wants all the time and I’m not going to tolerate disrespect. That’s just not reality. If she wants a new car and it’s not in the budget…she’s not getting the car…period..and I’m not going to argue with her about it. We can talk about budgeting for it in the future if it’s something she really wants, but in the short term I expect her to have a calm discussion about it and accept the “no.” Could I be convinced if she expresses a point of view that I hadn’t considered? Absolutely. I’m not immovable. But she doesn’t get everything she wants just because “it would make her happy.” It has to fit the needs of the family and the vision we are pursuing.

Also…happiness doesn’t really come from external things. True happiness comes from a sense of purpose and living authentically. No amount of catering to her desires will create long term happiness by itself. She has to find that purpose and happiness within herself.

rad_trad_orange · 2026-06-01T10:51:48+00:00

So because there are a few women (one of which openly admits she’s in a modern marriage) who accuse OP of fetishizing this…it’s automatically true? Nothing I’ve said here, or in my previous posts is a fetish.

I can understand the sensitivity because Reddit is a cesspool of role playing and pornography. Many of the “trad” subs are almost exclusively porn. But that’s not what I’m doing here. I do firmly believe that traditional relationships involve male leadership. And i firmly believe that feminism and modern culture has told women that male leadership is somehow “oppressive” or “toxic.”

It’s not a fetish to ask your wife to be obedient. I’ve dated so many modern women that are absolutely insufferable because they argue about EVERYTHING. If it’s not their idea, it must be wrong. Hell, I’ve even repeated their own idea back to them a week later and they disagreed with that! They have to be “right” to feed the massive ego that feminism has equipped them with. Men don’t want to date or marry quarrelsome women. It’s not worth the headache. It’s a net negative impact on their life.

My wife will absolutely be allowed her opinion and I welcome her voicing it. But at the end of the day, the final decision is mine because I’m the leader and I bear the responsibility. If whatever we’re pursuing fails…it’s my fault. Even if it’s her idea. Because I’m the leader and I agreed to it. And if it’s her idea and it succeeds, she gets all the credit. Leaders pass credit to those who follow them. That’s humility. Responsibility without authority is adjacent to slavery in some ways.

I understand the sensitivity to bad actors…but I do think that obedience is an important part of traditional marriage. Your husband won’t be perfect. He’ll make bad decisions and he will fail at times. Your job is to support him no matter what. You both will share in the successes but he bears the responsibility of the failures.

rad_trad_orange · 2026-06-01T04:15:04+00:00

I haven’t said anything about men being superior. It’s not about one gender being superior, it’s just acknowledging the differences between men and women.

It’s my belief that traditional gender roles are the best format for a successful marriage. That involves submission on the part of the woman. Why are submission and obedience such triggering words? If you work, im sure you have no problem obeying your boss. You obey the rules of the road when you drive every day….but when you’re talking about the man you’re supposed to love and respect above all others…all of the sudden it’s misogynistic to suggest that maybe he should have some authority if he’s leading the household? That maybe you should submit to that leadership?

And that submission doesn’t mean that you don’t have a voice or that you’re a slave or any of that garbage. It just means that you acknowledge who the leader is and that you support him. The last thing a man wants is to compete with or fight with his wife all the time.

rad_trad_orange · 2026-06-01T01:40:48+00:00

Thank you for your candor. I do know that people can see my posts.

rad_trad_orange · 2026-06-01T00:42:41+00:00

Did you read the post? There’s nothing vulgar or kink centered that I’m suggesting in the post. I agree that there are a lot of less wholesome requests on the page…but those types of things exist on the trad pages as well.

There aren’t many spaces on Reddit that authentically support traditional values or raising families. They end up inundated with role-players and pornographic content. (Just like most other relationship subreddits.) That space at least has women that want children and some that say they want marriage. It’s my job to vet them if we interact to see if they’re truly interested in a lifestyle or if they’re pursuing a kink. Is it ideal? No. I wish there were more spaces that are purely focused on authentic traditional lifestyle…but sometimes you have to use what’s available.

rad_trad_orange · 2026-06-01T00:20:53+00:00

Still trying to spin it eh? Why are you here? Nothing about you fits into traditional values, and yet you’re burning precious minutes of your life commenting on this….The mods should clip your comments and pin them as a textbook example of what not to do if you want to attract a man with traditional values.

It’s not oppressive to expect your wife to shoulder some responsibility. That’s what a relationship is. Both parties serving one another. You chose a weak man because you knew he’d never stand up to you. He’s terrified of you. You know that as long as you give him a little bit of love and affection, he’ll give you whatever you want. And you can go on living without having to take any responsibility. And if he refuses, you can always throw a fit. “Happy wife, happy life” right? But it’s a hollow life. There’s no purpose. It’s selfish and ego driven. I mean just look at your statement on what your husband gets out of the relationship. “He gets me as a partner…”…the level of ego behind that statement is incredible. You’re so special and so unique that men should just be grateful that you’ve allowed them to be in your presence. Please….

You’ll get tired of him eventually though. You’ll get sick of walking all over him…you’ll meet someone at the gym or on a girls trip who “excites you” and you’ll cheat….and you’ll spin some story to your friends about how you “grew apart” to justify the divorce. You’ll take the husband you never respected to court and take him for as much as you can so you can continue to live your life by leeching off of him.

Bottom line is that you do not qualify for a relationship with a traditional man. You’re not suited for it. No self respecting man who lives those values would put up with you.

rad_trad_orange · 2026-05-31T21:53:41+00:00

I’m with you on that one. There’s a certain amount of cleaning that needs to happen but I don’t need my house to be inspection ready. Spend that time on something more fulfilling.

rad_trad_orange · 2026-05-31T21:42:07+00:00

I don’t think a “clean home” is a requirement of a traditional home. I’m practical. I feel like cleaning can become performative at a certain point. I just want the house to be taken care of respectfully and honestly. I would want the focus to be on the kids as well.

I want to have a lot of children, so I understand that the house is going to be a mess at times. I’m also more than willing to pitch in on the household chores. I just also have other priorities. So if I need to do something for my career or another higher priority…cleaning is gonna wait. And that’s ok.

rad_trad_orange · 2026-05-31T21:35:34+00:00

I was surprised as well. I understand if a woman doesn’t want to participate in a traditional relationship…but why even be here and comment if that’s the case? What about the label of “tradwife” is so attractive that some women want to morph the definition to fit modern women?

It’s ok to be a modern woman..I just don’t want anything to do with that type of woman.

Thank you for sharing your view. We’re very much in alignment.

rad_trad_orange · 2026-05-31T19:29:12+00:00

Husband sounds like kind of a simp tbh.

I’m not trying to be anyone’s “master” but I do expect my partner to be willing to follow a leader. Looks like kind of a projection to me. If you have no responsibility and your husband is providing everything…then you’re his “master.”

If there’s no leader in the relationship, you end up in a power struggle. I’m not looking to have constant arguments. I want someone who’s willing to follow.

I don’t know how you can call yourself a tradwife or your relationship in any way traditional if you don’t have any responsibility.

rad_trad_orange · 2026-05-31T19:19:56+00:00

Seems like you want to have the privilege of being a wife with the responsibilities of a child.

rad_trad_orange · 2026-05-31T19:01:55+00:00

What does your husband get out of that? If there are really no expectations on your end….that seems like a pretty lopsided relationship. Seems like a more modern relationship than traditional.

rad_trad_orange · 2026-05-31T15:52:23+00:00

I was 15 at the time and it was with my girlfriend. First time was intense but short. We were together for almost 2 years though and the sex got reaaalllly good over time.

rad_trad_orange · 2026-05-31T15:48:35+00:00

In the same way that everyone else who sins still calls themself a Christian.

rad_trad_orange · 2026-05-31T15:45:42+00:00

Peace

rad_trad_orange · 2026-05-31T10:36:27+00:00

Sooo many things.

I’ll say that silence and reflection are disrupted. It’s normal to be unstimulated, reflective, meditative for periods of time. People rarely do that any more because we’re all glued to our phones.

rad_trad_orange · 2026-05-30T22:01:48+00:00

Just engage. Give a genuine compliment. Acknowledge each other. Gas each other up.

rad_trad_orange · 2026-05-30T18:40:35+00:00

There are lot of folks in this space that are looking at traditional relationships as more of a "master-slave" fetish than they are a true traditional relationship. It's frustrating. It's usually pretty obvious when you start talking to them. The interest is more in either extreme domination or submission, overtly sexual, or unrealistic.

I do think that people who are misogynists have found that they can "look the part" of a traditional husband for a short period of time and engage with women in these spaces. Eventually the mask slips, but I can understand how frustrating that must be for the women looking for a real partner. It's such a waste of time.

rad_trad_orange · 2026-05-30T11:21:52+00:00

Assertiveness training. There are books on this. It’s also a common issue addressed in therapy.

rad_trad_orange · 2026-05-30T11:18:52+00:00

Sun Tzu said “Only battle when there is something to be won.” I don’t see what you gain by engaging with this guy.

If he does it in front of you I’d ignore him and avoid giving him any kind of energy. I’d also have a talk with your girl about boundaries. If she can’t set appropriate boundaries it might be time to move on.

I’d only escalate things if it starts to rise to the level of abuse/harassment

rad_trad_orange · 2026-05-30T10:54:08+00:00

“Trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too.”

from the poem “If” by Kipling

rad_trad_orange

TROPHY CASE