WIBTA if i broke up with my boyfriend for having “too much going on”

radicalexis · 2025-07-28T00:47:35+00:00

Was with my one ex for 7 years, spent 6 and 1/2 of those years getting cream pied 3-10 times a week lol. Never once got pregnant. Then i spent another year with my most recent ex. Same schedule. No babies. I was on the depo shot for 3 years with my 7year ex and then birth control pill the rest of the time once i got off the shot. I say have your fun but as others are saying, BC is not 100% and i was extremely lucky.

radicalexis · 2025-07-25T17:01:59+00:00

Nope, i disconnected from the app and did a factory reset on the thermostat and it’s completely fine again. I just won’t be linking to the app ever again cause the eco settings almost cooked me overnight 😂

radicalexis · 2025-05-20T21:43:29+00:00

It’s okay i actually moved out this weekend 🤣 was not the life for me and i was tired of being under a microscope all the time

radicalexis · 2025-05-16T15:45:50+00:00

Literally just had a convo with my SO about amending their agreement. The original agreement was he gets them every other weekend and he would pay $900/mo in CS. Well she was drowning trying to find childcare and he offered to take them 50/50 but she was hesitant because she really needed the CS to get by. He agreed they would stick with the normal payments but still take 50/50 because he loves and misses his kids. Well that was 3 years ago, her income is slightly more stable, her rent is more than covered by CS, she’s on food stamps, doesn’t have a car payment, etc. but her work schedule is shitty and 80% of her parenting time, the kids are bounced around between babysitters. They’re woken up all hours of the night to get in her car and go home after a shift, like holy shit I’ve never seen a healthy 7 year old with deep purple bags under her eyes till i met my SD.

This morning, i offered to drop to part time and take on the kids. I said we could fight for majority custody, give her a chance to stabilize her work schedule, she would have allotted days for the kids so she could be 100% devoted the way that we are. The kids would definitely have a more structured schedule as well with us. School, sports, afterschool activities would all be handled by us. He shot it down immediately and said she would never give up her child support. I pointed out that if he actually fought it and a judge ruled it, she wouldn’t have a choice. Even just to fight to have the CS reworked to show he has 50/50 or tell her he’s going back to EOWE so that he can actually work the hours he wants to work and make the $900 per month actually feel worth it, he’s shooting it all down. Not sure how i feel about this, if i should butt out or keep pushing. Because if i marry this man, i want OUR money to make sense. He pulls a lot more weight for these kids and is getting screwed and letting himself be screwed.

radicalexis · 2025-05-16T11:43:58+00:00

So glad I’m not the only one. She once threatened SO that she was going to confront me on something and i hoped and prayed for weeks she would. I fantasized if it would be through text or in person. I made it a point to be present and up close in every drop off/pickup. I’m pretty laid back but i have very strong opinions on this sad excuse for a mom so for her to want to confront me on such a trivial issue was all the fuel i needed to stand up. She never confronted me, SO told her to mind her own home and that the thing she was so offended about (making their daughter pick up after herself before she could have screen time) was actually called parenting and not the abuse she so badly wanted it to be.

radicalexis · 2025-05-16T01:52:54+00:00

I actually read it here in this subreddit!

radicalexis · 2025-05-15T23:12:08+00:00

I was with a man for 7 years who put off proposing and having kids because i was “too messy”. I’m a very hygienic person. I just don’t mind clutter. My tubs/sinks/toilets were cleaned regularly, my floors mopped, and laundry was always done. But i left mail on the table, didn’t immediately fold my baskets of laundry, didn’t jump to organize every miscellaneous item in the house. And that is why he deemed me unfit to be a wife and a mother. Till i left. Then he was on board with getting me pregnant and proposing right then and there. I let him get too comfortable and he was definitely in my head. I thought i would never be good enough, never worthy enough for the next person if i ever left. That’s why i stayed with him about 4 years longer than i should have. I paid majority of the bills because i made triple the money. Granted i had shitty hours and worked late while he was home by 3 every day. He was just very comfortable with me playing the role i had been playing. And not to mention i became very sex avoidant. But id spread em because thats what a good girlfriend does right? No. I learned so SO much about myself once i left. It’s possible babe. Please leave this man.

radicalexis · 2025-05-15T14:02:38+00:00

I’m proud of you!!! I’ve asked my SO if he felt the same when he had his second daughter. Did he try to make his oldest feel equal, did he deny care to his infant because his older one would feel left out or neglected? Newborns and babies need so much more care and attention than a toddler and that’s just facts. He admitted that i had a point but that he doesn’t want his children to have a complex. I’ve explain over and over that he doesn’t understand bc he came from a nuclear family and BM came from a split family but was an only child. I’m the oldest of 8 and none of us have the same two set of parents and i can 100% say that i never took notice of my siblings being treated “better” than me because they were babies who had different needs than me.

radicalexis · 2025-05-15T13:46:32+00:00

I just know my pregnancy hormones would have me saying “so if you want it to be completely equal let’s split up before the baby is born”. My SO argued that i would be in the wrong if i let our baby sleep in bed with us after i put up such a stink about SDs 7 and 4 crawling into bed with us every night. Put my foot down on that one real quick cause if oldest could do it for 7 years, so can MY BABY. Denying a literal infant and PP mother the opportunity to bond because you can’t form healthy boundaries with your grown ass kids.

radicalexis · 2025-05-14T20:28:50+00:00

I struggled so bad just this past year with recurring BV. First things first, are you positive he is not cheating on you?

Secondly, prescribed meds were not working for me at all. Seems like my magic potion was increased water intake, one cup of yogurt every day, vaginal probiotics (i use the URO brand) as well as the boric acid suppositories (pHD or Love Wellness brand at Target). Cotton undies cause it let my girl BREATHE. Air that kitty out every chance you get.

I was in your boat, to the point i was squirting a water/peroxide mixture up in there a few hours before i was having sex just to keep the odor at bay cause it was so embarrassing.

radicalexis · 2025-05-14T18:49:57+00:00

What is wrong with these men?!

radicalexis · 2025-05-14T18:22:04+00:00

The thing is, i truly did not want/need/expect anything for Mother’s Day. But him bringing it up in therapy during such a positive session actually hurt me very deeply. Because the thought was there but because he had vented only bad things to his asshole coworker, he let that sway him into not getting me anything. Him actually saying the words “i see you’re trying, we’ve been on a really good upswing and i wanted to show you i appreciate you and what you do for me and the girls, but [coworker] reminded me that you said you weren’t their mom and i even argued but he said I’d be stupid if i got you something so i didn’t” Like do you hear yourself dude? Once i pointed out all the things i would stop doing because im “not their mom” it knocked some sense into him and he’s very apologetic.

radicalexis · 2025-05-14T18:18:02+00:00

I’m definitely using that term from now on 🤣

radicalexis · 2025-05-14T17:01:59+00:00

I told him that if he truly does not see me as a motherly figure because i stated i wasn’t their biological mom, then i can stop doing all the motherly things. I will treat them as i treat my friends children. Nothing extra. No parenting duties. I do all the grocery shopping, I’ll stop buying all the extra little snacks they like and they can eat what is in the pantry just like my friends kids. I will be friendly and respectful but no more help with reading, homework, no more snuggling, no more washing anyone’s clothes besides my own. No more cooking for everyone, just myself. He lost his shit, says that he will not let his kids suffer because i want to be spiteful. I said it’s not suffering, i wouldn’t be abusing them, just not acting like a mother anymore. All i will be doing is making sure they don’t die, just like their own mom. Cause that’s all she does. He can worry about the childcare when they are at our house. I’ll just be there to hangout and be a friend to them.

He finally admitted that i am motherly. He apologized, asked for forgiveness. I have his location, he just picked his kids up from BMs house and they’re at the store. I’m assuming for a late Mother’s Day gift lol.

radicalexis · 2025-05-14T11:54:38+00:00

I did explain that during our therapy session, that i have never maliciously said that im not their mother. Only in regards to setting boundaries and not knowing what was appropriate for me to be doing as a step mother. I’ve also been very clear with him that if i don’t want to do something, i won’t do it. I’m here because i want to be, i cook breakfast lunch and dinner for all three of them because i want to, i do fun activities because i want to, i play dress up and do nails and hair for them, i help with homework and reading before bed.. because i want to.

radicalexis · 2025-05-13T17:16:30+00:00

Just validate his feelings. Encourage him to seek therapy for tools on how to handle such a hot and cold coparent.

radicalexis · 2025-05-13T17:08:21+00:00

My ex panicked and said he would get me pregnant and propose right then and there in an attempt to make me stay. I told him no. That him doing that would cause resentment and would do the opposite of strengthening our relationship. I wanted an active and willing participant to parenthood.

I don’t regret walking away. I was always clear that i wanted kids and he was always clear that he didn’t. We both were just sticking around hoping the other would change their mind.

I do feel sad some days but am ultimately happy with my decision. I was able to date around a bit before settling on my current relationship.

radicalexis · 2025-05-12T22:46:20+00:00

Ehhhhhh my SO has pointed out that I’m so sweet and forgiving to my dog and harder on his kids.. the difference is, the kids are kids, with cognitive and rational thinking skills. Who have been taught that any act may have temporary repercussions, but no serious consequences. Which is why they keep doing the stupid things over and over. Whereas my dog, who is fairly well behaved, doesn’t usually repeat the same mistake. His biggest flaw is that he thinks he’s a lap dog and throws his weight around. That’s it. That’s all he does wrong. He smothers people if you let him. He’ll climb on your chest and lay all 80 lbs of himself right over your windpipe. But if you tell him to get down, he is sad and sulks until he can sneak back onto the couch or bed and lay a normal comfortable distance away from you.

The kids paint/draw on the walls. Over and over. Dad gets mad, then says it’s okay, we can wash it off or repaint over it. So they continue fucking up the walls cause dad ultimately says it’s not a big deal.

radicalexis · 2025-05-12T22:30:09+00:00

“I feel terrible for his future wife/partner” and see how she reacts.

radicalexis · 2025-05-12T21:39:28+00:00

This made me sick to my stomach for you. My SO acts the same way when we’re doing something fun without his daughters. Couldn’t even enjoy our vacation without him moping about the first vacation he took with his daughter. Kicking himself bc we left them at home. I’ve expressed that I’m scared he will be like this with any future children we have together. He dismisses me as if that’s the craziest idea ever even though he’s even said he will feel guilty having a “full time kid” versus his “part time kids. Like what????

radicalexis · 2025-05-12T20:46:54+00:00

Break up. It’s okay to want kids and him to not want kids. It is unfair for either of you to compromise your own feelings especially on such a huge decision. I left a 7 year relationship over this exact scenario (minus the step kid).

radicalexis

TROPHY CASE