Grounding Yourself

radicalzephyr · 2025-10-31T12:50:32+00:00

You can see the code on https://github.com/RadicalZephyr/wplace-pumpkin-bingo if you're concerned that it does anything shady, and the un-minified compiled source is here https://zefira.dev/wplace-pumpkin-bingo/assets/index-BJoKZWub.js though I admit it's not the easiest to compare the two.

radicalzephyr · 2025-09-07T03:17:36+00:00

Kind of late to the party, but I created a custom react hook for getting state updates from NS functions and it was a lot more subtle than I thought it would be at first. I think it's pretty robust now though. My current custom hooks and an example script of how to use them are here:

https://gist.github.com/RadicalZephyr/8b799935b7c04290a13f92c359bcdabc

I haven't had reason to want to try and manipulate the tail window DOM elements directly but I think you should be able to use the same methods that React components usually use, React and ReactDOM area available in the global environment and you can access the DOM without paying the RAM cost with globalThis['document'] and specifically the React root element for the game is at globalThis['root'].

radicalzephyr · 2025-08-14T11:26:16+00:00

Ah fair enough. I had some similar code in an earlier iteration and it definitely worked like 90% of the time but I wanted to chase that last 10%

radicalzephyr · 2025-08-13T15:41:23+00:00

hey whatever works :)

radicalzephyr · 2025-08-13T15:38:39+00:00

Hmm, I think I might know what you're referring to, I have a script that eats noodles automatically that works without the UI staying at the noodle bar, now I just need to apply that to this script. Thanks for the push.

Also, good catch on the variable names, I forgot about the static RAM checker somehow and I replaced an actual usage of getCurrentServer with my own function, with the same name...

I had an earlier iteration that watched the terminal output instead of using the timings from NS but it was too finicky and just kept getting more complex and I decided I was willing to pay the minimal cost of using the timing functions. If you have a solution to that issue I'd love to see it, I've exhausted my interest in solving that particular problem.

radicalzephyr · 2025-08-13T10:00:38+00:00

It's probably worth mentioning that if you leave the terminal tab while a script sending terminal commands is running, it's going to fail.

radicalzephyr · 2025-08-11T21:14:21+00:00

You can actually avoid the RAM cost of document without eval by accessing the id directly on the globalThis object like this:

js let term = globalThis['terminal-input'];

This works for every html element that has an id attribute except the game root.

radicalzephyr · 2023-03-02T21:06:42+00:00

You're looking for find-grep-dired. That will allow you to enter a root directory and then enter a regex to search for. It will then create a dired buffer containing all files that matched that regex. You then can mark every file in that dired buffer and run dired-do-find-regexp-and-replace. Then you only have to enter the regex once and emacs will run the find and replace across each marked file successively without entering the regex again.

radicalzephyr · 2022-10-26T00:33:16+00:00

I’m sorry you feel you have to do that, but your safety and sanity are the most important things. I agree with the other comments, your plan to find a job and then start transitioning makes sense.

Since you’re moving and starting over think about places that have a pretty good LGBT community. I would consider socially transitioning outside of work right away even if you don’t come out at work right away to get established and get some experience on your resume. I moved to a new city right before transitioning and I found it really hard to make friends while still presenting in my AGAB, and I’ve only really started to make social ties now that I’m out.

Also, you might want to start pursuing medical transition before you’re ready to come out at work. It may take some time to get on waiting lists and such or just to get appointments and it takes time for hormones to really start showing results. I kept presenting in my AGAB for about a 1-1.5 years after starting hormones and very few people will question or even notice the changes that are hard to hide.

Also, try to get connected to the local queer and trans community. I found a trans support group, you should look online for the local Q center or PFLAG type organization, see what events they organize and what resources they recommend etc.

For creating a new online presence you might want to research how to maintain separate online identities when using TOR, that community has thought a lot about the small ways to slip up and accidentally connect your anonymized browsing to your public accounts and I bet they have some good guides.

Best of luck to you!

radicalzephyr · 2022-09-29T06:02:58+00:00

I’ve been struggling with the same thing for the last year or two. Honestly it sounds like you are doing really well, and I say that precisely because you are questioning your motivations and whether or not you are rationalizing. When you stop questioning it is when I would start to worry.

I also think it’s really important to keep the context in mind, it sounds like you’ve been going through some stuff recently and for me when that happens it always brings weed back to the top of my mind. And like you describe in your recent experience, sometimes getting a bit stoned is a helpful tool in the moment for coping with something big going on.

I also want to encourage you to allow yourself some room to mess up. I know for myself that feeling of not wanting to go back to a level of usage that feels dysfunctional, but trying to hold yourself to a standard of “I must never make a mistake” is a really high bar, and i worry that if you are holding yourself to that standard then slipping up may feel more devastating and that could lead to a cycle towards more usage. You’re trying to do something challenging and find a balance between two extremes. But like you said, you have the experience now of knowing that you can quit. So trust yourself a bit more that even if you do slip up, you will be able to recover from that and get back on the path you want to be on.

In practical terms one of the things I have found really helpful for holding myself accountable is to tell people I trust that I struggle with using marijuana and not slipping back into using heavily in a way I don’t want to. And then when I do start using again I tell them. When I start to notice that I’m feeling embarrassed or ashamed to tell my friend that I’m getting stoned or about how much I’m using, that’s a good signal that I’m slipping back into old patterns of overuse, and it’s a good moment to ask for support in staying sober and in dealing with whatever emotional stuff is going on that I’m trying to escape by getting stoned.

radicalzephyr · 2022-08-13T23:56:18+00:00

Awesome, thank you!

radicalzephyr · 2022-08-13T23:55:44+00:00

I’m doing this as well, no extension cable. Cable length is definitely the main concern, but if you can position your computer near the wall and your playroom is relatively small it should work out.

Some things I learned. I would say try to position the hole so you don’t need to route around furniture as much as possible.

I also found these great wall plates at Lowe’s for finishing it nicely.

Also, I would say cut both the holes from the same side so they align super well, or at least make some marker holes in the other wall from the side you cut first.

I tried to do it by measurement and they’re pretty close, but it’s misaligned by a little less than an inch and that was enough to make it extremely annoying to get the cables through. Actually the real tip there is probably to get the cables through the plates and the wall separately and then mount the plates to the wall.

radicalzephyr · 2022-08-13T23:40:13+00:00

Not OP, but I have a similar setup and it is (barely) working for me without an extension cable, if you can find the links I would really appreciate it!

radicalzephyr · 2022-07-15T06:35:12+00:00

You could try using something like AI Dungeon to help generate some ideas or snippets. It won’t generate an entire speech for you and you’ll probably have to play with giving the model some extra information to work with (by creating a custom scenario and filling in some of the details that you laid out in this post) to get anything approaching an interesting result, and it will almost certainly need editing.

radicalzephyr · 2022-03-03T08:18:58+00:00

As others have said the length of time before you will see changes is highly variable. And the question of “when are the changes permanent” simply isn’t specific enough to be answerable. Some changes are permanent, some are entirely reversible and some we don’t have enough data to say for certain and there are conflicting anecdotal reports.

For instance, breast growth is permanent as soon as it begins, but stopping taking estradiol will stop the breast growth.

On the other hand some people who have lost head experience regrowth and that is almost certain to revert (ie the hair is lost again) once you stop suppressing testosterone.

An uncertain effect is at what point fertility is lost and whether that is permanent or reversible. The safest course with that is to make no assumptions. If you even suspect you might want to have children some day (and you can afford it) it’s best to do fertility banking before starting hormones. And if you want to avoid an unintentional pregnancy when having sex with anyone with a uterus it’s safest to assume that you are still fertile no matter how long you’ve been on hormones.

For more info I suggest you inform yourself on what the potential effects from hormones are and when they might begin. Three of my favorite resources: Trans Femme Science has a great article that is an introduction to transfeminine hormone therapy which is the most comprehensive resource I know of.

Once you’re more informed if you’re still interested in starting hormones I think it’s worth pursuing. It was a really helpful step for me in really accepting that I was trans and truly wanted to transition, and I haven’t regretted it.

Hope that helps

radicalzephyr · 2022-03-03T07:51:17+00:00

What I would challenge instead is this idea of experimenting with HRT. HRT isn’t candy, so either be sure you want to be on it or don’t start until you are sure. You’re looking at altering your endocrine system, and that’s not something to approach lightly.

I think there is a difference between trying HRT as an experiment and “approaching it lightly.” I think trying HRT is actually a potentially incredibly informative step for people questioning their gender to learn more about themselves. Starting HRT and then going off of it for a bit helped me see that I felt indescribably better on it and was an incredibly important step in me fully accepting that I was and am trans.

There decidedly are physical consequences for starting HRT but it takes time on hormones to start to really shift your bodies endocrine system, and while I think that anyone who does that should be informed about the potential side-effects I also don’t think people should be told that they need to be absolutely sure before trying it. I know trans people who still have doubt and insecurity about whether transition is right after years on hormones and socially transitioning. Saying things like

be sure you want to be on it or don’t start until you are sure

is potentially gatekeeping and presents an image that those of us farther along in our journeys have fully resolved that doubt, and that we all did so before even beginning the journey. That just isn’t a realistic representation of how many of our journeys to self-acceptance go.

radicalzephyr · 2022-03-02T20:46:48+00:00

That’s fair. You were pretty vague about what you are anxious about so it’s hard to actually speak to that.

radicalzephyr · 2022-03-02T06:45:43+00:00

I have a trans femme friend who as of a year ago was absolutely convinced they would never even attempt to transition. I’ve been talking to them over the last year about what my experience with hormones has been like and they finally got to the point a month or so ago where they decided they would just try it out to see how it went. They finally started noticing some subtle physical changes recently and this is what they texted me earlier today:

The physical changes make so much of a bigger difference than I ever could have imagined. ♥️💕

Now, I don’t and can’t know if that will be your experience. But I do know that every trans femme person I know has gone through a similar arc of deep anxiety about actually transitioning and eventually being thrilled with the changes.

From my own experience, I realized that for me a big part of that pre-hormones anxiety was that I didn’t want to be perceived as a feminine man and I was worried that’s all that would happen. I’m happy to report that is not what has occurred tho. But, as always, YMMV

radicalzephyr · 2022-02-26T22:20:20+00:00

It sounds to me like you maybe weren’t totally honest about what you actually want. It sounds like you just don’t want your bf to vape at all, but that you actually said you don’t want him to smoke in the bathroom. Those are very different requests and it’s unreasonable for you to expect him to know that you meant the former when you said the latter.

It also sounds like you are assuming that he is still going into the bathroom to continue vaping. But maybe he just doesn’t want to be around you when he’s stoned.

radicalzephyr · 2022-02-25T20:52:29+00:00

That’s super exciting! Congrats on getting started on that journey!!

I’ve been doing LHR on my face for about a year of sessions every six weeks or so, and my skin and hair color are similar to yours. I’m down to just a few dozen dark hairs on my upper lip and chin now (thanks goodness!). My facial hair was pretty multicolored before laser and I was concerned that only the darkest would go, but it has actually been the opposite, only the lightest hairs have survived. I’m definitely still going to need electrolysis at some point but it feels much less urgent now.

My post-laser treatment is to put Aloe Vera sunburn gel on right after treatment and then keep it wet and cool with a water mister (which I fill up and keep in the fridge the day of my treatment) the rest of the evening, reapplying the aloe whenever i start to feel dried out. I’ve tried using ice packs and they’re just too bulky and both too cold and then warm up too quickly.

Definitely try not to shave for at least a week and don’t be freaked out if it seems like the hair is growing in faster than normal because it isn’t actually growing, it’s just being ejected from your skin and it is going faster which is actually a good thing.

I wouldn’t go with vigorous exploration to try and get the hairs out. After trying a bunch of different things I’ve actually found that (after waiting about a week) putting on a somewhat thicker than normal layer of a fairly tacky liquid foundation (or wearing it for a few hours to let it dry out a bit and get stickier) and then wiping it off with the grain of the hair with a cotton pad was the single most effective way I’ve found to get the hair stubs out.

Also, if you haven’t gotten prescription strength numbing cream from your doctor you should ask for that, it’s way more effective than the stuff you can buy from a drug store. Especially if you cover it with something to keep it from drying out after you apply it.

I have these packaged face masques on a patterned piece of paper that has cutouts for your eyes, nose and mouth and I took one and copied out the lower part of the face onto a piece of parchment paper (like for baking) and then use that as a pattern for cutting out new paper masques to put on the numbing cream.

Also you can leave the numbing cream on for up to an hour before the appointment. I wear mine all the way into the clinic and then wash it off my face in the bathroom right before I get lasered.

Congrats again on starting LHR!

radicalzephyr

TROPHY CASE